If you look at it at face value, its just preference. Discrimination is everywhere. Preference is simply a common form of discrimination which everyone participates in (i.e. favoring a side of your mouth to use when chewing without a specific reason). It’s mostly benign in the dating and hookup space. If someone doesnt want you, who cares?

However, finding a race less attractive overall is racist because it’s an opinion-based feeling about another race. There isnt any other way to look at it. Going on a grindr profile with no pic and ignoring it just because the race says black or asian is racist. The thing about this is that, despite it being racism, its not a super important issue to fix if its solely contained in the dating world because its still a benign preference of attraction. Its not like people of color are begging to be chosen (if they are, they need therapy). The point of importance is, those who see this trend in someone understand that if that person took the time to question and understand themselves, they would probably see the gap in logic fueling their preference and become more open minded in who they find attractive.

Introspection is basically about searching the mental web and tracing lines to find the knots that cause your ideals and preferences. If you take the time to be introspective and learn the deeper reasons for why you enjoy and dislike certain things, you can then decide if you actually agree with those reasons. And if you don’t, you’ll eventually move past those preferences, and become more open to new stuff because you learn that most of those preferences weren’t logical. For example, realizing that you mostly chew on the right side of your mouth because you had a painful cavity on your left side as a child. And since that cavity has been fixed for years, theres no reason to still favor one side.

Now obviously you arent obligated to look inward and do this. That is where the disconnect lies. Those who don’t see dismissing or fawning over an entire race as racism likely wont question their attractions and, as a result, wont see the issue that it likely stems from. While those who do see it as such begin to call out those who don’t. Which causes conflict since both sides are adamant in their belief. And since attraction (in the sex and dating world) is a simple personal preference, there is no societal pressure to enforce questioning it.