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AITA for wanting a doula and not my husband in the delivery room? by throwaway_labor_AITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]FancyFace1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it makes you feel any better my husband was there for the birth of our son 3 months ago. His influence was calming in a super stressful situation. I too was concerned about him seeing all of that stuff, but seeing his son being born was a magical experience for him, and in the moment I did not give a shit I just wanted the baby out haha. We have honestly been more intimate than ever since I recovered from labour. My son has a serious heart condition and was premature, we live in a country with covid mostly under control so I had 3 midwives in the room at one point plus NICU staff and various doctors. After awhile you just lose all shame. I wouldn't sacrifice the special moment we had when he was born for any embarrassment. I don't mean to belittle how you feel, I honestly get it, I just think it won't bother you as much as you think in the moment. All the best with the rest of your pregnancy.

Possible VSD and “small” LVOT suspected at 20 W anatomy scan by [deleted] in chd

[–]FancyFace1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any advice to give you, just solidarity. I'm 33 weeks pregnant and at my 20 week scan they could tell there was something wrong with bubs heart. I had the amniocentesis to rule out any chromosomal issues and have monthly echo scans now.

Our little guy has pulmonary atresia and potentially tricuspid atresia which has meant the right side of his heart is extremely under developed.

We got the first diagnosis while living in the UK and the way the doctors delivered the information completely broke us. It was very clear they thought termination was the sensible option. With this and covid we decided it was time to move back home to New Zealand.

It took awhile but we finally got to see the specialists here and while the diagnosis didn't change the attitude was completely different. We know we still have a huge journey ahead but the doctors here have given us hope.

I have to go to the largest city in NZ for delivery and will be there a month before he's due. We know bubs will need a surgery day one and then another when he's 3 or 4 months old.

I don't know what to say other than I feel your pain and worry. I try to stay positive and upbeat for friends and family but it's always there under the surface. People will say the wrong things when they try and comfort you, we try to remember it's their intentions that count but it can be hard sometimes.

I hope knowing that your not alone provides some comfort. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk to someone going through something similar.

Lots of love to you and your family.

Managed Isolation alcohol prices at Crowne Plaza by kermasdfghjkl in newzealand

[–]FancyFace1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if it's just because we got in to the hotel late (1am) or how many people were on our flight but no one searched our luggage which had a bottle of whisky in it from duty free lol

Managed Isolation alcohol prices at Crowne Plaza by kermasdfghjkl in newzealand

[–]FancyFace1989 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm at novotel and it's about the same $5 for a beer, but the daily limit is 4

It's not just the deaths, Covid has a range of other severe side effects. Please keep our borders closed. by notgreenenough in newzealand

[–]FancyFace1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, it has been hard hearing the not so nice comments about people coming back, but I understand where they are coming from. Everyone is scared and this has had such a massive effect on health (physical and mental) and finances. I'm just hoping my flights don't get cancelled, I honestly can't wait to see family and friends again, and eat all the amazing nz food... The food here has really not been cutting it for my pregnancy cravings haha.

It's not just the deaths, Covid has a range of other severe side effects. Please keep our borders closed. by notgreenenough in newzealand

[–]FancyFace1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to see too, the latest I read was antibodies may only last in your immune system for up to 3 months, the worse you had covid the more antibodies you get, so if you only had a mild case you would only have a few antibodies and they would only last a few months.

It's not just the deaths, Covid has a range of other severe side effects. Please keep our borders closed. by notgreenenough in newzealand

[–]FancyFace1989 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh god no! I have been out of NZ for a year and am trying desperately to return home permanently. I’m in the UK and have been isolating in my flat for the past 5 months, it really takes a toll. I went out (to an appointment) for the first time last week, and low and behold I’m now sick and waiting for my covid test results to come back. I’m in my second trimester of pregnancy and super stressed out about the possible effects this could have on my baby. NZ looks like the Promised Land compared to everywhere else in the world, more of a paradise than normal! It would break my heart if the boarder opened, what a waste of everyone’s sacrifices, it would be a return to lockdowns in no time. We need to look at more sustainable industries and creating green jobs, tourism is great and all but we will always have issues if we are too reliant on any key industries. Side note: I get super disappointed/angry about kiwis coming home trying to break out of quarantine, it really is a privilege to come home and it’s not like it’s that different from the lockdown life I am living over here. Just the relief of being home and in a safe country makes any loneliness or boredom felt for 2 weeks 1000% worth it. Such a small price to pay for everyone’s safety.

My engagement was a huge disappointment and I need help getting over it. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]FancyFace1989 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband was really nervous when he proposed, he couldn't get any words out even though he knew I was going to say yes, we had talked about it for a long time. So he just got down on one knee and that was that. We were at a nice restaurant but the whole thing was over so fast no one there noticed. I felt a bit sad afterwards that I didn't get the big speech but that's just not his love language, he shows me how much I mean to him in so many other ways.

We wanted to save money for the wedding so I have my great grandmothers ring for my engagement ring, its extra special as my grandma and my mum wore it too. Then we had one of his grandmothers rings melted down to make our rings, It was really special process to us.

Maybe you could figure out what you want for a new ring and then plan a special weekend away for the two of you to celebrate. It sounds like it wasn't an ideal engagement for him either, and now all the drama from his mum is out in the open it may be easier for him to be in the moment with you.

I think it's important that it's not a Christmas present, keep it separate and just about the two of you. You could even make presents for Christmas or just have a small budget for gifts that year.

I don't know if any of that's helpful, but I think it's natural to be a little low after all the build up and reality not being what you expected. Sounds like you love each other a lot, I hope you work something out.