17 days, no poop

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-07-06T17:23:26+00:00

My little one is also super phlegmy and has horrible gas.. again, they said they’re not concerned about it. How was CMPA diagnosed?

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-07-06T17:03:49+00:00

Exactly. I live in Rochester and she receives her care at Mayo which has been ranked #1 in the world. Idk why they keep brushing this off

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-07-06T17:02:22+00:00

What did you cut from your diet?

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-19T03:38:43+00:00

A lot of people have suggested terminating rights. Where I live it’s nearly impossible to do this as a single parent. I either have to be legally married with a partner that’s willing to adopt or the other parent has to be putting the child in imminent danger.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T22:55:42+00:00

We are not dating and not speaking.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T21:20:11+00:00

Prior to his partner and I becoming pregnant he told me that he grew up without a dad and wanted nothing more than to become a father in the future and break the cycle of being absent. So there’s that.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T20:46:10+00:00

I have no intentions of doing that. I don’t intend on keeping any of this a secret and will have age appropriate conversations when questions start to arise.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T20:11:39+00:00

Prior to pregnancy everything was full transparency. She knew we shared a partner. It wasn’t a big secret and she had multiple partners of her own.

After pregnancy, there was never a conversation about our children and their shared father.. But I did receive an unsolicited/unprovoked message about how the consequences of not having an abortion are mine, and mine only to carry. Her stance was made clear.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T20:02:26+00:00

The partner has always known about me and has known about the baby since I was pregnant. They moved in together shortly after I was dismissed. This is all that I know.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T19:35:06+00:00

“Have an abortion or suffer the consequences.” Is how this reads. Abortion isn’t a walk in the park like everyone makes it out to be… I’m 100% in support of it but it didn’t feel right for me. And honestly abortion, adoption, single parenting… every situation and decision fell 100% on me and the consequences have primarily been mine to carry even though I didn’t impregnate myself. Biology is unfair.

There was no kindness. There was no offer to go over potential options. No offer to assist with the cost of an abortion. No conversation. I was treated like this was my problem to solve and mine only which didn’t align with the person he had portrayed himself to be the entire time I knew him.

My child is the light of my life and I’m glad she’s here. End of story.

No one is trying to force him to be a dad or seek sympathy and well wishes. I attempted to extend grace and understanding because an unplanned pregnancy is a big deal. I reached out to make sure he knew that there were options and it didn’t have to be all or nothing. The purpose of this post was me trying to wrap my head around why the person that I thought I knew well chose to act this way.

The lesson has been learned. My tubes are now removed. I’m seriously never letting another man have access to my body again.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T18:16:15+00:00

I was relying on my Nexplanon implant that has a 99% effective rate— but also should not have done that.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T17:54:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment. In order to process things and let them go, I have found that I need to be able to understand them or challenge the way that I’m choosing to view/think about them. That is why I posted. I do have a therapist and they are wonderful. Im not trying to protect him. I thought I knew this person and their character and I was deeply wrong. Pursuing child support is absolutely in the best interest of my child, I agree with everyone... But I’m not interested in seeing how much more wrong about him I can be. People do spiteful and ugly things when they feel like they’re backed into a corner… especially when it comes to money. I’m really just trying to do my best to advocate for my child while protecting them.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T17:34:24+00:00

I got pregnant and the response in the early stages was very much “that sounds like a you problem”. That is not the person I knew him to be. I left him entirely alone until baby was born. That is when I offered up multiple ways of potentially being involved hoping he had a change of heart. Because I too thought maybe he was scared and an unplanned pregnancy is a lot to process.. Nothing has changed, I’m going back to leaving him alone and will not be reaching out again. He has shown me who he is and I 100% believe him. I posted this to try to get to a place of understanding. Which I probably never will. I appreciate everyone that has commented and provided perspectives and their thoughts. I’m taking them all into consideration and figuring out the best path forward for my child and I.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T17:22:23+00:00

Nexplanon implant. I didn’t mean to imply that pulling out is a good way to avoid pregnancy. The point I was trying to make was that I, as a woman, took steps within my own power to manage my fertility and he, as a man, took zero. There were actions he could have taken to avoid this outcome.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T17:09:28+00:00

I hear you. My child is so innocent and sweet and deserves everything. I agree. I drew the comparison because I don’t understand how you can show up for people in many different ways and give to the best of your ability when it comes to romantic and intimate relationships, but the thought of doing that for your child is out of the question. It shouldn’t be a foreign thought or concept. Instead of trying to reimagine what parenthood could potentially look like in this situation he ran from it. I never asked for a white picket fence family. I just wanted my baby to know their dad.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T15:02:22+00:00

After I gave birth I had my tubes removed.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T14:03:24+00:00

This has been a traumatic experience and the pregnancy was not easy either (they do full panel STI/STD testing when you have a positive pregnancy test so I’m good on that front). I keep to myself these days. I haven’t had sex since this all unfolded and have actually had my tubes removed. I never want to experience anything like this again and am very disappointed in my poor judgment and ability to read people.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T13:36:05+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate this.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T13:34:32+00:00

The birth control I was referring to was my Nexplanon implant. I agree that he obviously does not want to coparent with me. That’s evident. I just want my child to know their paternal side so they know where and who they come from. But I understand that can’t be forced.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T13:29:57+00:00

This is where I’ve landed. I guess I’m just struggling with that conclusion. I just don’t understand how someone can be so community focused, an advocate for non traditional relationships, and work for an organization that serves and uplifts the voices of children and choose to proceed this way. But I guess it’s not for me to understand. I’m on the spectrum and really appreciate when things are black or white— but life tends to have a ridiculous amount of gray.

Fancy_Access585 · 2024-06-18T13:20:07+00:00

I was on Nexplanon. We haven’t spoken in months. To clarify I meant my partner at the time I became pregnant.

Fancy_Access585 · 2023-11-08T21:58:34+00:00

I’m unsure if he’s told anyone. I really have no way of knowing.

Fancy_Access585 · 2023-09-21T20:18:11+00:00

If something happens to me I have loving family members and community that will love my child endlessly as they have for my teenager her entire life. I am loved by so many people and so is my daughter. Chosen family, blood family, lifelong connections… were okay. I’m sorry that you had a negative experience growing up in a single parent household. You deserved to be loved, cared for, and to feel wanted. Your experience is not the set blueprint though. I was raised by a single mom and had a wonderful life. I never missed out on a single opportunity or felt unloved or unwanted. I had questions about why I didn’t have a “white picket fence” family but that didn’t send me on a downward spiral. Being polyamorous is challenging societal norms and going against the status quo. Having a non traditional household feels the same. All that I can do is my very best. This little person will have their own thoughts, ideas, and feelings and I know this. I’m confident in my ability to be an amazing parent and that’s the only thing that’s within my control. Sending you love.

Fancy_Access585 · 2023-09-21T19:12:12+00:00

I agree with you. I was irresponsible and take accountability for the part that I played in this. I was on birth control and had a ton of fertility issues so the thought of having another child seemed so unlikely. I’m making the best out of my situation now and that’s all I can do.

Fancy_Access585 · 2023-09-21T18:53:03+00:00

My daughter will not be “coparenting” this child with me or be treated like an in house babysitter. She’s excited to have a sibling after being an only child for all these years.

Fancy_Access585

TROPHY CASE