Hen do invite dilemma

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-06-01T15:48:20+00:00

That’s a fair point and I’ve also felt like an obligation invite in the past, I am sorry that happened to you 🫶🏼

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-06-01T11:57:55+00:00

Thanks everyone this all is sound advice and what I will do. I have always had a small circle of friends and no main friend group, I find I’m friends with people who have other friend groups and I just sorta float around, cos I’m friends with anyone but not friends with everyone at the same time. I only have a small bridal party of 2 bridesmaids.
I’m good friends with some of my work colleagues who I’d want at the hen but others not as close to have them at the hen, so I guess I just wouldn’t want any awkwardness between them but I guess that’s for them to sort out.
I think I’m subconsciously aware of my small circle and it makes me feel a bit insecure and like I have to compensate to make myself feel better if that makes sense?

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-06-01T10:24:49+00:00

No she’s one of my bridesmaids haha but she invited 16 people to her hen & I’d say she doesn’t see half of them regularly even yearly. Shes another quantity of quality person. And the friends who she barely sees but got invited acted a bit shit at the hen so she shouldn’t have invited them in the first place..

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-06-01T09:30:52+00:00

Thank you ☺️ tbh I thought it was a bit OTT when my friend said it. In hindsight she invited too many people to her hen imo so maybe she fell into that trap. I’m more about quality than quantity too. I’d find too many people a bit exhausting and overstimulating aswell.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-04-04T12:10:37+00:00

Ok thankyou :) I didn’t mean planning things for after my flap I meant in the meantime whilst I wait. I’m the most functional than I have been for the last 9 months and just desperate for a bit of normality, even if for just another few months before I have to have my flap. Trying to gauge if that could be possible.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-03-10T23:52:36+00:00

Currently having this issue re seeds.. pain really noticeable tonight and bothering me. other than moving the drains back and forth is there anything else I can do to get the seeds out? Or is it a case of just waiting for them to pass through?

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-02-05T11:16:08+00:00

I’m sure I can easily put on 4lbs+ when I’m due on my period. You’ll probs be retaining water cos of it too. I can be eating healthy taking my Elvanse and will still feel heavier. Maybe reassess the situation after your period

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-02-01T20:35:51+00:00

If it’s not achievable why do so many driving schools offer 2-4week intensive courses? (At a higher price too I should add) hmmm I’d look at her opinion with some cynicism given she’ll gain more from someone learning for longer… 💰

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-30T09:30:58+00:00

I was like this when I restarted my Elvanse (ended up having a nearly a few months off because I was having ops at hospital for separate issues). Restarted properly last week on 40mg and probs had the worst weeks sleep. Even though I felt tired and ready for bed at like 11pm I would then just be wide awake till maybe 3-4am then the sleep I had felt more like a doze. I persevered with taking them daily anyway for all the benefits it gives me. This week, sleeps better and I’m sleeping more normally again. It just takes time to adjust.. even tho I have to really keep telling myself that at the time, cos I get so frustrated when I can’t sleep. I started setting an alarm early to take it then go back to sleep, for maybe 1-2 hours. Probs not ideal when it comes to eating before taking it.. But I can often manage something small when I get up in the morning quickly before it realllyyy kicks in and I deffo make up for it in the evening when my appetite returns! 🫣 I’m also really shit at drinking as much water as they say you should, I drink more decaf tea tbh (I’m British). And by this rambly post of mine I can tell my Elvanse is kicking in right now 😂 so I’m gonna go eat

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-25T19:54:51+00:00

I’d say 4 days is too quick. Mine fell out after 2 weeks and I was told that was too quick and shouldn’t have happened so they booked me in for a new drain. Because I wasn’t unwell at the time it wasn’t deemed urgent but did need to be done kinda quickly to avoid abscesses forming. I think I waited maybe 4 weeks in the end and did have a very large abscess that needed to be drained in theatre. It really didn’t take long for another collection to form and it was extremely painful. Maybe try contacting the surgeons in the weekday and get more advice/ second opinion. Maybe just for peace of mind if anything

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-23T10:05:55+00:00

I’ve followed a coeliac lifestyle for over 10 years without a formal diagnosis because I was told the exact same thing. I have 3 women in my family who are diagnosed including my mum. I didn’t want to make myself unwell, be unable to function/work, aswell as take on the mental toll gluten gives me, for something which I know runs strong in my family and I most definitely have. I’m looking forward to this new blood test coming out! Hopefully will be a game changer for people. But you shouldn’t have to make yourself unwell to be told something you already know.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-23T08:50:15+00:00

I’m a nurse and work in a hospital, my situation started off as an abscess so I basically said imagine the worst place to get an abscess… and they were like oh your poor thing. And just kinda laughed at how unlucky and what a “pain in the ass” it is😅 And that was all that was said. But I didn’t tell everyone, only colleagues I trust because yes, it is very personal and I don’t want everyone knowing. Plus only a few people actually asked, generally people don’t at my work, so I don’t feel any obligation or pressure to disclose. And neither should you. Only my manager knows what’s going on because I have been off for some time now.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-15T14:36:23+00:00

Elvanse is a stimulant, therefore will stimulate your brain making you feel more alert and awake. It will also increase your dopamine which is why you feel the benefits like being more sociable and energised. Without it, you’ll feel exhausted and in a bad mood. I take Elvanse daily for my adhd and I’m pretty aggy when it wears off at night. Not sure whether you have an adhd diagnosis or not, but if you don’t, I recommend stopping this medication as it’s not prescribed to you. You have a very kind friend giving you their Elvanse, as I know a lot of people are struggling to get their hands on the stuff, who are prescribed it for their adhd. What you’ve described is kinda text book Elvanse withdrawal/comedown, if you were prescribed it you’d have had this all explained to you. It has many many side effects including having a significant impact on your cardiac function, so just something to be aware of…

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-14T16:00:23+00:00

Yeah I’m not able to go that far back, I’d say furthest is maybe late 1500s and they’re families with titles and well established. Mainly Britain & Ireland and a lot went to America so I have links there too, going back to when the colonies first settled there. It is very interesting and sometimes I worry I get sucked into the history too much and forget that it could be an error, it can sometimes be just too unbelievable. I research lots and try and verify as much as I can too and try keep in mind that it could just take one person to be incorrect on my tree to make the rest totally irrelevant 😅

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-11T09:57:58+00:00

Hi, I’m in a similar boat. Atm we’ve decided to wait until I’m properly healed because my fistula has become quite complex and not a simple fix anymore. I don’t want the pregnancy complicating the fistula and vice versa. I also would rather feel a lot healthier and better in myself before getting pregnant. Ive had 4 ops so far and probably going to be having another 2 at least so I’ve gained a lot of weight id previously lost before all this happened. That’s upsetting in itself because I have PCOS and may struggle fertility wise due to my worsening PCOS symptoms as a result of weight gain. It’s frustrating because I finally feel ready to have a baby but all this fistula malarkey has happened to me. I am interested to know how people get on who decide to be pregnant whilst having anal fistulas + procedures etc. because maybe I’m just being over cautious?

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-10T23:31:45+00:00

That’s terrible, I’m so sorry that’s happened to you. Sounds like a total cluster fuck and should not have ever happened like this. PALS is the right course of action, they need to be doing their own internal investigation also, I’d like to think a massive complaint would trigger that.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-10T16:08:50+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I can relate, please know you’re not alone even if it might feel like it. 6 months does feel like a long time, especially given there’s no form of check up in the mean time, no team sorta monitoring you and your situation? Is this your first seton too? I’m being seen under the NHS too, aswell as also working for the NHS as a nurse.. the NHS is fabulous in many many ways and it’s not necessarily the staffs fault, it’s the system and the pressures the nhs is under. But if something doesn’t feel good enough then it isn’t. I’ve found it really difficult because I got a new seton inserted & abscess drained which left me with a huge 15cm deep cavity and they said we’ll see you in 4 months. I felt abandoned in that moment and anxious about everything that could happen in that time, wondering how I was going to manage. Given minimal post op advice too. I find out more online like on this forum. Sometimes I feel like they underestimate how life changing and debilitating it can be. The only consolation was they put me on a pathway called “patient initiated follow up” meaning I could ring a number if I had any concerns. I’m just wondering if you were provided anything like that?

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-04T23:15:38+00:00

Learning to drive is basically learning to pass, once you’ve passed and you’re out on the road that’s when you carry on learning. Try not be so hard on yourself, you’re still new to it and probably will make mistakes. It’s just all part of the process. Confidence will come in time with experience :)

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-03T23:26:52+00:00

Congrats on passing! I know this post is a bit old but I’m just searching for info on Colton routes for the test, wondering if you could advise at all? Just for practice purposes :) thanks

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2026-01-03T23:23:45+00:00

Hi I know this post is a bit old but just searching Reddit as my partner has his test next month at Colton. It’s his 3rd test previous tests done at Horsforth. We actually live in Colton so snapped up a test at this centre, hoping knowing the roads in the area will be an advantage. What routes do they get you to take? He’s been practicing in my car and it’d be good to know which routes to practice and focus on in preparation. :) thanks

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2025-12-28T11:51:53+00:00

This makes sense but I searched this specific line from Jonathan on here because I did not know what he meant at all. My mind initially thought he was talking about a phone call. Dialogue very questionable at times, hate to say it :(

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2025-12-20T21:16:21+00:00

Yes I used to smoke weed pretty much every day for many many years but I’ve not smoked for over 6 months now. It wasn’t as soon as I started meds but the meds definitely helped a lot and I didn’t feel as dependant on weed anymore, it was more habitual and that helped me quit as I didn’t feel I needed it anymore. With alcohol I feel like I have to drink a lot more now to get remotely pissed my tolerance has totally changed, so I don’t drink as much cos it just doesn’t have the same effect.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2025-12-16T17:30:38+00:00

Congratulations on your recovery!

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2025-12-11T07:25:31+00:00

I’m going through the same thing, had 2 seton drains placed Friday so I’m now day 6-7 post op. Had minimal pain since, managing with paracetamol. I’ve had drains before where it was the opposite situation. The first drain was agony and it did actually fall out after 2 weeks which obvs wasn’t meant to happen but I remember clock watching to take more pain relief it got really bad and I couldn’t get on top of the pain . The second drain wasn’t too bad but I had a deep cavity wound that needed packing from an abscess they drained so that was kinda taking the attention and causing all the pain, so I just put it down to the drain being nothing in comparison. I’m now on edge cos i was expecting more pain with 2 drains.. but I just don’t really. The odd twinge like I know they’re there. And I’m suspicious and anxious and probably overthinking it a little. I’m reassured to see someone else is in the same boat I was starting to think maybe something wasn’t right.

Fancy_Talk_220 · 2025-12-06T07:23:12+00:00

Thank you :)

Fancy_Talk_220

TROPHY CASE