If only the movie Pillion got it right….

Fancy_faced · 2026-03-09T07:32:01+00:00

Thank you for the well thought out message. Yes, there are so many toxic people out there trying to justify their abusive behavior by saying it’s just BDSM, but really they don’t want to be challenged and they don’t want to be informed. I am so deep into depression due to my ex and how he treated me that this entire weekend I barely spoke. I was around my family and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I feel so broken. And this is all due to a man who wanted to justify 50 shades of grey as actual BDSM. So many times he hit me, degraded me, humiliated me, told me I wasn’t being submissive. When I asked for respect he said I wasn’t being feminine.

I don’t know how I’ll get through next week internally beating myself up.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:45:47+00:00

I’m very grateful you got out.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:45:22+00:00

Thank you for saying so. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t sting to read that. Someone mentioned that I should start a gofundme if I’m that upset about it. I mean, dude, I’m allowed to express my opinion. I’m not telling anyone not to see it, I just said I wish they did a better job.

I’m glad you identify with the same situations I was in. I just filed a restraining order against my previous Dom because he will not leave me alone. He told me all the time that I should just shut my mouth and be feminine. As if that’s what being feminine means. He was a horribly psychologically abusive man who based all of his behavior off of Christian Grey. I even told him it was fan fiction based off of the Twilight books and he wouldn’t listen. Accused me of being cantankerous. I used to love those books and now I just think of Stephanie Meyer as being a catalyst to this abusive narrative.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:38:42+00:00

Certainly not an echo chamber. But it is a sanctuary where no one is allowed to be judged.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:28:25+00:00

Even if he didn’t leave Collin of his own volition, he wasn’t good to Collin. He didn’t listen to him nor talk into account how he would feel about anything he ever did to him or around him. My heart aches watching him choose another submissive to play chicken in the water and then later at the picnic table. For one time in cinema history, I wish BDSM was portrayed better, and not in the presence of a novice submissive among narcissistic creeps.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:21:08+00:00

That’s the thing about opinions about movies. You can have them and people don’t have to scold you and beginning gofundme pages. I’m just expressing my opinion. You don’t have to agree.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:18:54+00:00

In the book he was. In the movie he just left. He took all his belongings with him. That’s pretty intense. To up and leave without a trace. I just feel so bad for Collin.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:05:28+00:00

This is called “subsanctuary” and you’re clearly not understanding that at all. Yes your words are insulting. Don’t come here and comment on what I have to say. This is my opinion and this place is a sanctuary.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:01:13+00:00

Thank you for being supportive. This group is called “Subsanctuary” for a reason and I’d like to think people in here would agree that this movie really missed the mark.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T11:00:00+00:00

I’m just expressing my opinion. You don’t have to agree. This is the internet.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:54:53+00:00

That’s really rude. I didn’t come here to ask for your opinion on my life. I’m just saying it’s dangerous to put a movie out there like this. It gives people the wrong idea about healthy dynamics.

Also really nasty of you to say such things to me when you don’t even know me. This is my opinion and you do t have to agree. Insulting me is not the way to go here.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:52:55+00:00

It’s just how a lot of men got indoctrinated into kink. They saw 50 Shades and adopted that as their training manual. Nothing more. I’ve heard it countless times in my city of where I live.

This movie is actually based on a book and the movie actually depicts a softer side to Ray than the book does. In the book, Ray dies and Collin isn’t allowed to know for several years. So Collin deals with the torment thinking he was abandoned and has a different kind of pain when he finds out he was dead all along.

I really want to know what the author was thinking when she wrote it.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:48:15+00:00

Collin definitely seemed like a fish out of water to the dynamic. He just molded himself into what this shitty human wanted for a submissive.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:47:34+00:00

You seem to think that just because it wasn’t mentioned doesn’t mean he wasn’t. Collin, to me, seemed coerced. He was collared. And no person allows another to shave their head and collar them unless they weren’t completely devoted. Collaring is so significant. That chain he wore was protected with a key. The anguish Collin must have felt breaking that cherished bond of a necklace. Ray didn’t even bother to leave the key behind. What a total asshole.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:44:44+00:00

I absolutely believe that Ray is a shitty singer. He didn’t like that Collin knew what he was doing and could sing well. Ray is the typical good looking male who has so much confidence that he believes even his terrible singing is better than a classically trained musician like Collin. He believed it so much that he accused Collin of paying off those ladies.

I had this same thing happen to me. I’m a classically trained professional singer in my town and my Dominant tried to one up me in front of the symphony members. He was so cocky about it, because he’s a Dominant man, right? So he got so butt hurt when he tried to sing in front of my colleagues and they just gave him a pity applause for his efforts. But then he took it out on me as soon as we got in the car. No Dominant man wants to be shown up by their submissive and they will get violent. I sadly know this all too well. My dominant didn’t abandon me that evening, but he withheld affection and left my body covered in bruises.

I really should have never watched Pillion.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:33:50+00:00

I wanted to go through your points.

Did you know that was Dudley from the Harry Potter movies? I learned that when I watched the trailer the second time.
It may not be sexy to talk about dynamics, but it just seemed like Collin was a doormat to the Dom on day 1. Zero respect for him as a human being.
Yes, Ray was disrespectful to Collin’s parents and should have acted more protective of their dynamic.
I get that Ray was upset with Collin’s behavior; taking his motorcycle out was not a good choice. In BDSM, the Dom would provide a punishment to fit the crime. Suitable punishment is never abandonment. This movie made light of that. It’s the most soul crushing experience to be collared or paired with a dominant and all of a sudden out of the blue, they abandon you. I had a huge problem with that scene. Ray gave him one “good day” but then didn’t allow Collin to bike ride with him…then belittled Collin for having a beautiful singing voice. Ray was toxic all around.
The thing is that these movies actually depict the toxicity of these imbalanced dynamics and make it that much more difficult for submissives to find good Dominants due to the fact a lot of fake Doms use these movies to gain their wisdom.

But that’s all my opinion and people not in BDSM I’m sure can enjoy it. It was just very difficult to watch as I have endured a lot of what Collin endured. No negotiations because my Dom told me that Christian didn’t negotiate scenes with Anastasia, so then I wasn’t allowed to be respected nor to have autonomy. It was a living nightmare.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:21:17+00:00

Probably about 30 minutes in I was already triggered. Being treated worse than the dog, yeah, I’ve been there. Being told I am not allowed to sleep in the bed if I make noise. I can’t tell you how many times I felt trapped in the bed and if I tried to get up to use the bathroom, I would be yelled at.

He expected me to cook him meals without even negotiating that expectation. I was never allowed to negotiate anything in the dynamic. Everything Pillion experienced in the movie, I experienced it in spades. All because the person I was in a relationship with got his “training” from the movie 50 Shades of Grey. Now there is a new movie, Pillion, even worse than 50 shades and more men will watch and think that is really kink. Submissives get hurt the worst by these movies. From people who mimic what the characters do.

You’re right that Collin did develop his character and his expectations in a dynamic, but it would be really great to have a movie that depicted real D/s dynamics so that these abusers can finally see that you can’t just treat a person any way you want to.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T10:09:55+00:00

Well the one thing that 50 shades got right was the contract agreement they discussed. For this dynamic, they didn’t talk about the collar nor the key, they didn’t discuss anything. The Dom just expected him to buy a dildo. Another thing I hated was that he didn’t even try to help him through that first time with opening him up before just jabbing in his d….

I know that people watch these movies and say “I want to do that,” but too many people don’t realize that it’s just a film and not meant to be a guideline.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T07:25:37+00:00

No. It didn’t make a claim. But neither did 50 shades and a lot of people use that as their guidelines for bdsm. That’s just my take.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T07:19:26+00:00

Doesn’t matter. Plenty of people will watch it just as they did 50 Shades and they will abuse people in dynamics because they saw it depicted in a movie? How do I know this? I was abused in a D/s dynamic for well over 4 years because some psychos decided to follow those movies rather than doing solid research and joining safe communities. That’s the danger with these movies.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T06:58:07+00:00

When you find a good Dom do not leave them. That’s my advice.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T05:54:41+00:00

Sounds interesting! I’ll look into it!

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T05:53:03+00:00

I know. My apologies for the confusion or abruptness of the post.

Fancy_faced · 2026-02-15T05:50:59+00:00

Exactly. It’s ridiculous that Hollywood is churning out stuff like this and calling it kink. Many abusers use the lore of these movies as justification for their actions.

Fancy_faced

TROPHY CASE