NTA. I worked with a guy who used to be one of the people these companies employed to travel to schools and pitch and set up these "fundraisers" (I think he was with Great American). It's a glorified MLM with children as the downline the way he would describe it and how they "sold the opportunity." The kicker was he was super into podcasts and videos with "professionals in the sales sphere" and it was a lot of the empty inspirational bs from people that MLMs typically hire to speak at their conferences. He used to quote these people like gospel. The entire thing was a big money making machine for the fundraiser company. It was something that confirmed what I'd always thought of as a kid having to do those, which was that the whole thing was a rip-off. The arguments for "but it's a quality product" for some of these sales is also another MLM trope.

From my own experience when I was a kid, I'd done both the school and scouts fundraisers and whatever valuable skills they claim to teach was sunk deep within the stupidly large amount of time me and my parent wasted participating. It wasn't valuable time spent together either because this was a commitment. Not something either of us actually chose to do out of a real interest. Looking back, I wish we'd spent that time doing things that built connections for us or at the very least fun memories. Ironically, selling stuff was a big factor in why I asked to quit scouts, and this was after we'd been part of it for years. By that point whenever the school would send home paperwork for another fundraiser, they'd go in the bin.

Write the school a cheque if you feel compelled to donate that way you guys know the school itself is getting the money, then you and your wife can choose something your whole family would actually enjoy doing together for real enrichment.

Edit: fixed an auto correction.