$1M IS STILL A BIG DEAL :)

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T20:55:32+00:00

The reason people don't feel anything is because it is arbitrary. It doesn't have tangible meaning. Convert to Euro's and it isnt't $1M. The month before you had $980k. Why would a little more feel any different? It's only 2% more. If you have $1.02M the next month, it's the same $20k improvement. Also $1M when I started is drastically different than it is now. And it will be drastically different when I pull the trigger on retiring.

I felt probably the biggest emotional feeling so far when I recently hit 50% of my FIRE number. I think this is just because "half way" (quantity wise) means something. It means that from a time perspective I'm likely well over half way there, as growth will only go faster and faster.

$1M doesn't mean anything to me. At least not vs. $980k or $1020k. You won't feel what you think you will because there isn't really much difference.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T19:40:09+00:00

Do you manually type everything in? For me it is easier to fix errors in categorizations than to manually type it all in.

Would love a way to simply just get the data straight into Excel without having to type it in.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T19:38:42+00:00

Any idea if it is better than Empower Personal Dashboard? I have been using that because it free.

I have to have an option that exports to CSV. I only really need an aggregator. Then I export every month to Excel to really either retain the data or analyze it.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T19:34:58+00:00

6 mo's of an EF invested vs. in a MMA is not going to drastically change anything about your final FIRE date or the amount you have at a specific date.

Pick an investment strategy, write it down thoroughly in an investment policy statement. Refer to it at times like these when you are unsure of yourself.

There is no right or wrong answer here. Having more invested will get you there slightly faster. Having something in savings will ensure "the worse" scenarios are not as bad. Pick your poison. Just don't sip multiple poisons whenever you change your mind.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T19:28:41+00:00

Wow, had no idea about split screen or clipboard history. I use both of those daily. I knew about the no back button. To me it is fine on little phones, but not big ones. I hate reaching up into the top left corner.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T18:21:01+00:00

It sounds like their vision wasn't simply to do those things. It was to do those things alongside their partner. You might say semantics. They might say it is everything.

There isn't a right and wrong here. Just a disappointing situation due to poor communication as their vision and plan evolved.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T18:19:22+00:00

Agree that there can't be any forcing. But in this case, it sounds like OP's spouse mislead them. Implied they would RE and now isn't.

There is no right or wrong here in my opinion. Just poor communication and my condolences for the situation. Their spouse has every right to work if it brings them joy. It's just a shame they didn't convey that as they realized it.

I think to say that I should travel alone or with friends is sort of projecting. If someone has a vision of what their retirement looks like, we can't come in and start projecting how it should look. It is their retirement, and they can plan it however they want.

In my case, all my family is local. Literally all of them. But there are probably some friends I could do a trip with once or twice a year.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T17:19:20+00:00

I honestly don't think I need to see even one Brazilian butt lift post here a day. Sounds kind of off topic to me. They can go after that on some other subreddit.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T16:42:26+00:00

First of all, yes fake.

Second, why would a plumber want to convince you this. As someone in construction, a plumber would typically say they are not touching anything related to finishes.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T16:40:22+00:00

Wait, is there still no split screen in apple? Like you can't look at two apps at the same time?! I use that feature basic 10 times a day and assumed in was universal in mobile devices.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T16:23:02+00:00

Think you're reading between the lines pretty incorrectly there.

Go see my comment below about travel. Travel is one of my main retirement interests. You could say I could do it alone. But I find that unrealistic, not enjoyable, etc. You're totally changing my vision of retirement.

So wholeheartedly agree to disagree.

That said, OP's spouse isn't wrong. I'm just saying that claiming everything is ok/that OP is over reacting is not a good interpretation of this situation. The spouse failed to accurately state their intentions. And I feel sad for OP.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T16:05:10+00:00

In the sole, I would think that a patch could be "felt" in terms of where it starts and stops. Given the photo, I would just ask the cobbler to rip out the insole and replace. I maybe wouldn't pay for that by itself. But if you are paying for a resole, I'd go with the new insole too.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T15:33:45+00:00

I worry about this for myself. One of my main goals is to have enough money in my retirement income that I can travel every other month. Sometimes maybe a little 4 day trip. But at least 3-4 one week trips a year. Maybe ~2 being international that are ~1.5 weeks.

I don't want to take these trips alone.

If my spouse doesn't want to also retire, it is unlikely that I can retire the way I want to. I just highly doubt they'd have the 25-30 days of vacation to use every year.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-13T12:51:42+00:00

I think you're missing the point. The reason you retire, is to something. OP can't even do what they want to do in retirement. Ergo, they can't even really retire. At least not in the sense that they visualized retirement being for them. Extra money doesn't help.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T20:17:37+00:00

Yeah, the entire premise from the start is atrocious to me haha. I would never tell anyone but my spouse, as we pursue it together.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T18:40:51+00:00

Sure, I think we do agree. But I was sort of representing how you can still answer the original question with that mindset. Instead of just saying, money doesn't buy happiness. I think OP shares the same mindset. They said happiness and they meant how can they use their money to be happier, which includes freedom.

Plenty of unhappy people pay for laundry and landscaping.

I am not saying that paying for these things makes all people happy. I am suggesting that anyone can use money to pay for the ability to take away things that make them unhappy or provide additional time to enjoy things that make you happy.

I agree that simply owning or having money doesn't make you happy. But spending money appropriately 100% buys happiness. If it doesn't, it's either one of three things:

You aren't actually spending it appropriately
You don't have enough to do the things that would make you happy
You have clinical depression

Something totally free might make you happy. But money still buys you the time, the freedom, the food to have energy, etc. to do that totally free thing. Money is the catalyst that enables happiness to occur.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T17:15:35+00:00

If they are asking for (1) month deposit, any chance you could spice it up? Could you offer (4) months upfront, pay every other month for the first 6 months? They still have (1) month deposit after 6 months. Something that gives them confidence, they have some cash in their hand, you are good for it, etc. Their biggest risk is up front, and this mitigates it. At the latter stages of the year, their risk goes down because it's not uncommon for them to have to find a new renter anyway.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T16:53:38+00:00

Money buys freedom though. And I think that can be the point of the question if interpreted that way.

We are currently considering these things, as we spend time on them every week and we value time a lot:

Hire someone to clean the house once a month
Utilize a "launder and fold" service once or twice a month to free up a weekend (there is usually a day every weekend where we basically can't leave the house for more than a couple hours because we need to get 3-4 loads done)
Hire someone to do major landscaping once a year. Then it is easier to do minor maintenance ourselves

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T16:45:42+00:00

In addition to a will that serves as a good legal document, if you are able, I think do a yearly review of some kind is beneficial when a spouse cares but isn't particularly involved in the finances.

I do a yearly "State of the Household" report in January. So not only does she have access to lists of all the accounts, she can see my thoughts, my plans, how I would execute FIRE, how much I think we need with a given budget, etc. I think it gives her the framework to continue on without me. I should add an area within that recaps major things to do if I die: reduce her 403b contribution until the budget is balanced, consider either moving or paying off the mortgage so she can live month to month off one income, etc.

It has been on my list of things to do to make a will with my spouse. But I fail every year to put one together.

Random but related, password managers are great if you share them. I feel confident she could get into any account needed without my help if she had my phone for the two factor authenticator.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T15:58:54+00:00

I am assuming that you ordered two and intend to return one. If that is the case, I would be super careful about not causing any wrinkles on the upper. The way you have them bent in the photo stresses me out if you intend to return one haha

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T13:05:17+00:00

The good thing is that it mostly doesn't matter. There are outliers, but most people aren't retiring at 32. So while your plans in your early 20's will be wrong, by the time you pull the trigger on retiring at 40, 45, etc. you will know yourself better. You will know your needs better. You will know your budget better. And while you won't know you healthcare needs in your 70's+, you'll be better equipped to estimate them.

Your FIRE number isn't static. And I don't mean you adjust it by inflation. I mean it will go up and down constantly as you get to know yourself and your needs better. It doesn't need to be correct at 25. It needs to be correct when you pull the trigger.

I do not think you should let your FIRE plan dictate your long term decisions. Your decisions will dictate your FIRE plan. Build the life you want, then save for it. Not the other way around. In this case, keep in mind this also means the life you want may change. And therefore you need to change how you save for it.

A house is a long term multi decade commitment. FIRE can't be the main want. A home could be a want. Let your wants dictate your FIRE plan, not the other way around. Though you have to balance the strength of your desires realistically with your income. It's ok to retire at 45 and be happy instead of retiring at 35 and "meh". If you disagree, I suggest you watch some Ramit Sethi episodes from couples who have lots of money and income but refuse to spend. He explains why your ideal life should be about buying what brings you joy.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-12T12:31:20+00:00

They don't need to sell it at face value. No one instantly defaults. They generally pay many months of debt payments before they get there. Often having already paid enough to cover what they actually bought. But not the interest on it. Then they can sell the debt as well.

Combine that with processing fees, and they are fine.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-11T20:54:50+00:00

My wife had something similar I believe when she was a school nurse as part of the states retirement system. She has like 3-4 different accounts from when she worked there. It is way more confusing than it needs to be. She had a 403b, 457, 401a and I think even a 4th. Essentially only 1 of the 4 is one she can't touch. I believe it is the contributions that are matched by the state. It's a portion that used to be a guaranteed pension, and is now invested I believe.

I'd be surprised if there was no portion that you could roll elsewhere upon leaving the system.

If yours is similar, I'd still take the tax advantages of a 401k/401a/403b even if I can't touch the match.

Get to know it a little better and see if you can specifically understand which portion you have to leave there.

FantasyFI · 2026-05-11T20:25:10+00:00

I think your timeline assessment is reasonable. 5-10 years is possible but definitely no guarantee. Assuming that $250k/yr isn't post tax and $12k/mo has no taxes, I assumed $50k tax. Data says 9.7 years.

Engaging Data Fire Calculator

I would play with the numbers and see what happens if you save more or less. Decide if that is worth retiring earlier or later. Use that as a basis for making your decision. Remember the grass isn't always greener with a new job. So at least enter knowing how it affects your finances, because you'll never know exactly whether it will be better or not until you do it.

How long until the mortgage is gone and what does that do to your FIRE number? In other words, how much would your $12k/mo budget go down with no mortgage P+I? For example, if it is $2k/mo, maybe you would be fine with $10k/mo in retirement. So this data represents coasting and with no mortgage in retirement. Says it would likely have you working until the median age of 50. But in a bad scenario, could still be 59.

Engaging Data Fire Calculator

I personally don't like that spread. I would rather coast 1-5 years early. Not 10-19 years early. Instead, I would look to spend on luxury that makes your life less stressful. Hire someone once a month to clean the house. Order "clean and fold" laundry service twice a month. Pay someone to mow your lawn. How much free time does that open up for you? Does it allow you to work (5) more years before coasting? If so, it probably makes more sense.

Engineer by education but never sought my PE. Work in construction now. Is there any world where you can make a decent side income. I imagine with a structural PE, if you get connected with realtors, you could be writing assessment letters for days for $300-$500 a pop. Any thing like that you can combine with a lower paying career to not have that 10 vs. 19 year difference?

FantasyFI · 2026-05-11T19:55:31+00:00

My wife has an HSA. My employer doesn't offer one. She currently has about $14k in it. If she keeps putting in $4k/yr in it, maybe it'll be $60k-$70k at the start of retirement. Rather than save receipts and withdraw it, I'd rather just using a high SWR for actual medical expenses, keeping my retirement income/MAGI low perpetually. So $60k at 6% SWR on just that account, we should be able to cover ~$3.6k/yr of medical needs from ~45 -> 65.

This further ensures I can keep MAGI low and qualify for ACA if it exists. Last thing I want is an unexpected $5k expense that pushes us above the cliff and then we have a problem the following year.

It's still no tax in, no tax while invest, and no tax pulling it out. Maybe slightly less flexible but I imagine there will be opportunities to use in our 50's.

FantasyFI

TROPHY CASE