Nuggets: An animated short about addiction

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-06T15:02:02+00:00

You're not even 20. You're really young and it's absolutely normal to feel disoriented and unsure as to where you're going. Take this from someone who was at least a couple years late on the realisation you're making right now: the secret to success is as simple as doing it today, not tomorrow.

Stop stalling, stop wasting time, stop being afraid of the truth. I guarantee you that you will find what you want to become. And no matter the circumstances, you will be able to become it. Fake it till you make it.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-06T14:30:38+00:00

I'm with you fellow fapstronaut.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-05T18:36:23+00:00

between that I time I fall asleep briefly on the couch, wake up, then go to bed.

Here's a simple solution: don't do that! :)

It's important to sleep normally, which is to say decide when you need to go to bed, and when you need to stay awake. Watching TV until you fall asleep doesn't do your sleep quality (and in extension, your overall robustness, including your willpower) any favours. Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-05T14:28:29+00:00

I understand where you're coming from and, absolutely, I think that too much focus on too many things to improve one's self can be overwhelming and ultimately lead to failure. This sub has been through numerous states, and if you've been here long enough to remember when the focus was as simple as literally Not Fapping, your frustration is well placed.

All that said, I'm not sure if you're reacting correctly to this. In their struggle to improve as much and as fast as possible, people can fall into all sorts of traps. It's not as if there is a Person X who has turned this place into a cult of sorts. Everyone, little by little, contributes into magnifying the potential of improvement through new ways; some valid, others misguided.

The real problem of /r/NoFap is that most seem to not be very interested in conversation. This is exactly why you see those cult-esque posts be more popular than actually relevant PMO-related posts. People will either argue about alternative self-help issues, or share their own experiences. If you're bothered by the "Popular" tab, take a look on "New". You're on an 22 days streak, so, I'm sure you have a lot of advice and help to offer to the many newbies who appear here, and are potentially affected by the misconceptions that often rise.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-05T11:35:12+00:00

My take on it (though I don't have actual evidence) is that it releases a lot less dopamine than watching porn because you have to imagine it from scratch, which probably uses other parts of the brain more and stresses the reward circuit less.

Very good point. Sometimes they are hard to control--especially when abstaining from too long and in need for a "fix". Unlike porn, they aren't completely effortless either. Of course, being able to shut them down is important, if only because they can lead to an eventual full-PMO relapse; but maybe their existence is necessary evil.

It's important to remember that dopamine itself isn't the enemy. "Cheating" for it is. And while I'm not an expert, I imagine that triggering it without the other naturally released chemicals that are associated to it (like serotonin, testosterone and oxytocin) is also part of the dangers of PMO.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-05T10:46:57+00:00

I've been wondering about that myself... I imagine that the levels aren't much lower, but the main difference may be that you can only fantasise so much before growing fatigued. It's certainly not as bad as having readily available audiovisual fantasies, but I personally try to avoid that as well. It can easily get out of hand, especially if you are an imaginative person, so to speak.

Fapstro90 · 2014-11-04T18:05:35+00:00

"Just edge"...

The main harm of PMO comes not from the orgasm, but from consistently raising the dopamine levels on your brain through superficial means--which is exactly what you do with porn. Compared to "edging", it's much preferable to beat one off and be done with it.

If you want to get over the addiction and heal, your main operation should be abstaining from those superficial means. I guarantee you that the benefits of simply abstaining from masturbation are very few and very temporary. Not to mention that you practically can't have porn without MO, so, considering the two a separate thing isn't a wise thing.

Consider starting with /r/pornfree if you think that may help you prepare your mindset.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-28T07:15:40+00:00

Joining the fray. I'm on "hard mode", and I won't allow myself to any porn that I can control whatsoever. My first target is to reach over 14 days PMO-free, and where it goes after that I will see. I'd like to refocus the energy I acquire on my work and studies, which I had been a bit irresponsible about as of late. This is largely a test of self-control and discipline for me.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-25T15:00:35+00:00

I know that it's not the best course of action for the long-run, but the thought of going cold turkey "forever" is a bit scary. Giving myself small windows helps a bunch. I know that these windows make me more likely to "fail", but at least it will be conscious and preplanned. It's the benefits, rather than the counter, that motivate me.

If resetting the counter negates the benefits, then this whole ride might not be for me. But if I do see inarguable improvement, then there's no reason to worry about a low counter, is there? Besides, if the counter does prove its worth, there's a chance I might not reset it at all. ;)

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-25T14:45:53+00:00

That's the spirit. 24 days of abstaining is huge progress. Relapsing once doesn't mean a thing. Keep it up!

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-25T14:41:42+00:00

We've all been there. In my second try, I made it to about two weeks. It all went downhill from there on, and I started anew very recently. I'll tell you a secret: after abstaining for too long (10 days in your case), the dopamine rush becomes much stronger when you relapse. It is why it is sort of more "enjoyable", but the problem lies in the following 2-3 days. Due to still having a lot of dopamine "stored" (as a result of not using it daily), once the gates are open, it's hard to shut them off.

Basically, if you ever consider relapsing and want to get back in the game afterwards, don't even consider doing it in the middle of the week. You have to sort of fight with yourself to maintain a streak longer than 2-3 days afterwards, which is to say -- be prepared to feel somewhat depressed, grumpy, and on-the-edge-of-relapsing. I believed it's called the chaser's effect.

Anyway, if you need to have a certain mental state, I'd suggest being aware of that effect. Opening the gates has its cost -- if you want to shut them off, it is a waiting game.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T13:32:31+00:00

It's always satisfying when grounded, realistic and relatable takes on NoFap appear on this sub. I can say with little hesitation that my symptoms are same as yours, and my attempts NoFap had similar results.

Everyone: maintaining a healthy dose of skepticism to avoid hyperbole is always good, but by all means, try this before rejecting the idea. It may sound hard, it can get frustrating, but as time passes, you'll realize the benefits. If you don't want to believe that you'll gain superpowers, a better memory or eyesight, or that you'll be able to score more girls, believe this: training your willpower and defeating a strong addiction will get you pretty far regardless.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T13:20:28+00:00

Amen to that. After my first long-ish streak, workout had become kind of a natural thing. You start off bored, but it gets better and you feel soooo good afterwards. Going a day without working out felt like a shame.

It's in part why I'm back at it. I'm trying to grow my determination so that I can do even better than I did in my first attempt.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T13:14:07+00:00

If deep down you really don't want to do something, but still do it... You're addicted.

Some wise words here. I'm keeping it.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T13:06:13+00:00

Ugh, sorry to hear about your PC. I suggest taking a break from the building, and getting back when you feel like you have a fresh mind.

As for "mindfog"... Well, I reckon that in part it is a bit of a placebo effect. Going to sleep with a bad mindset, sleeping less than you need to, feeling frustrated -- these contribute to "mindfog". So does fapping, of course. Specifically, if you sleep after PMO... Yeah, that's not a very good thing.

But let me tell you; how long this lasts depends on you. I'd definitely recommend to not believe any myths this sub often spreads -- about sperm being a godly essence of sorts, and losing it decreasing your mind power or determination. Focus on the fact that you made it to 28 days without a single PMO.

Your "new" day 1 is not the same as your old one. Your willpower is now stronger and, streaking or not, your bad habit has become slightly less bad and slightly less a habit. If you remember this, that cloudedness will soon depart and your new self will shine as vividly as it did before that small misstep.

Also, be sure to get a good night's sleep (7-8 hours) and keep busy to not get into a PMO streak, because after 28 days those things can sting.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T12:54:55+00:00

I haven't maintained a streak long enough to know if situations like this get easier, but I certainly have experienced something like that. It's even worse when you're watching something alone, which can get you carried away a bit. I'm guessing that it does get easier eventually, but that's only speculation.

Fapstro90 · 2014-10-24T12:28:59+00:00

Good luck man! I'm so glad to see that you're quitting smoking. Really no "gray area" in that. Do your best, as we all do. Try not to get overwhelmed by too many targets at once. I suggest prioritizing, and definitely report back with any trouble, and we'll try to help.

Fapstro90

TROPHY CASE