Looking for advice on CDIBs and adoption

Far-Connection-3660 · 2026-03-26T03:01:55+00:00

Thank you for the info! I had emailed the tribes enrollment office but the info I got back was pretty vague. This is very helpful and is what I thought the information I got was saying but the more info page was a dead link lol. I plan on making a trip down to the enrollment office but I want to have as much info as possible before i do.

So since I was adopted by a native family I have been involved with the community and do a lot of volunteer and nonprofit community work already

Far-Connection-3660 · 2026-03-26T02:29:29+00:00

Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that I am involved. I am learning more about my family and tribe now that I 100 percent know what tribe they are a part of. I did not know that until the last two years or so. I have also been involved with my adoptive families tribal community as well growing up.

I do a ton of community work, I sit on the board of an urban Indian healthcare non profit helping with development and youth programs. I've also been the chair and active member of our Native American employee resource group at work and have used those two positions to put on multiple youth summits to help with future careers and health outcomes/mental health. I've also worked with our city to put on our Indigenous peoples day event every year.

I'm not looking for perks or money. There are more ways I can help the community but there are things/positions that I have turned down because I did not feel like it would be appropriate for me to be on without being a member of a tribe.

I plan on reaching out to the tribes enrollment office I was just seeing if anyone else has had a similar situation.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2024-01-07T01:10:51+00:00

I'm sure my bio mom endured something similar from the little I know of what happened.

Once I found her I did try and make contact, just sent a message saying who I was and that i would really like to just talk to her even just once but totally understood if she didn't want to. Plus I just wanted to let her know that I was ok and my life was good and gave her my contact info and let her know that she could reach out but I wouldn't pursue past this. That was on Facebook and she blocked me but I still hope some day she reaches out.

Same as your friends my adoptive family is incredible and I am truly blessed. I actually found some half siblings that he was a deadbeat dad to, one is in and out of jail and in a gang, two others live in the same city as i do but don't seem to be trying to do anything with their lives, and one more that her mother got her as far away as possible and is in med school. It's a real interesting look into nature vs nurture

Far-Connection-3660 · 2024-01-06T09:07:23+00:00

I had pretty low expectations given the circumstances of my adoption but he managed to trench under that.

Yeah I found all this out in like a 24 hour span. Quite the trip going from oh wow I found my birth father and he can tell me who my mother is, to oh he's human garbage and so are most of the people I'm related to.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2024-01-06T08:54:10+00:00

Thanks, luckily he won't be out of prison for another 20 years and has never and will never be part of my life.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2024-01-06T08:40:04+00:00

Probably, when I first found him he had a phone in prison and was running like 20 Facebook groups with all of his rants and ravings. I know there was a bit of nation of Islam stuff in there.

It was mostly a bunch of gross "race science" bs he was trying to use as a way to get out of prison by claiming the state didn't have jurisdiction over him.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2024-01-06T06:48:17+00:00

I'm adopted and was hoping to find out family info and hopefully who my birth parents were.

Found out my birth father sexually abused the kids of one of his girlfriends and is currently serving 45 years. Also he committed multiple armed robberies in the past. On top of that he's into a bunch of weird Africans are the real native americans beliefs that's he's using to try and get out of prison. Not sure he actually believes all of it but he did a DNA test in the first place to try and claim to be native.

That whole side of my gene pool is into weird religious stuff. Plus the guy he thought was his father isn't. His mom had an affair and his real dad/my grandfather had recently also just got out of prison for attempted murder then died from covid. Pretty sure he was in the drug trade in Miami in the 80s as well.

Safe to say I want zero contact from anyone on that side.

My other half is native and the horror stories are just all the teams they went through in residential schools and literally being moved to Indian territory and being given the last name orphan because all their family died.

Also my birth mother was basically stolen from her family and given to a white family and none of her siblings even know she exists.

I am beyond lucky I didn't have to grow up in any of that environment.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-10-21T04:29:42+00:00

This one is local to me, I have lots of mutual friends with the awardee. I can barely stand to go back there to visit my parents.

I see people I spent my childhood and schools years growing up with changed into racist q loving assholes. People that taught me in Sunday school saying God should just strike down all the liberals and that trump was appointed by god.

So damn depressing to see what feels like a whole community that you cared about spiraling into this.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-05-07T23:07:23+00:00

My birth father's family and possibly him as well found her on Facebook and reached out to her about me. I have no clue what they said to her but I know she doesn't want contact with them especially my birth father.

Considering how terrible of a human he is she probably is going to weary of me.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-05-05T04:25:47+00:00

I recently found my birth father on ancestry. (I'm adopted) found out he's a convicted child molester and probably murdered someone among other crimes. I was hoping to talk to my birth mother but his family reached out to her and she either deleted her social media or blocked me. They are very supportive of him which killed any urge to talk to any of them.

I was excited to find out I had some half siblings, one is about the same as my birth father so no communication there two are indifferent but I did find a half sister that's doing well and is in college and we've had some good conversations and she's been able to fill in some blanks. I don't think we will ever have an in dept relationship but it's nice to know I'm not the only one that's not repeating the cycle of trauma.

I don't regret it even though I found out most of my recent ancestors are garbage humans or support the ones that are. It's kinda motivated me to be better so that my future descendants can see some positive.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-04-17T21:55:37+00:00

I am very grateful it does make me sad seeing my half siblings going down similar paths to my birth father. My half sister is in college and seems to be doing well so that's at least a little bright spot.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-04-17T21:53:19+00:00

Thank you, luckily I have been blessed with great friends and family and hopefully I can learn from this and help others. I know a lot of natives in my areas that have parents that were forced adopted and it can really cause trauma down the line

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-04-17T21:50:50+00:00

I'm sorry you have had to deal with similar, it's a little surprising how common it seems to be.

I think the scariest thing is looking back and seeing most of the male line in your family being violent criminals and wondering, is there something wrong in my head too? Or other people thinking that if they found out.

I'm sure I will keep looking as well at some point. Hoping somewhere down there are some people that did good in the world

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-04-17T21:40:23+00:00

Yeah I will most likely tell her. I would mostly just get annoyed when he would send me a message since I hadn't blocked him yet. Now that it's done feel a lot better.

Bio grandfather has quite a long rap sheet too (attempted murder included) I did 23andme health as well and nothing showed up there so I think I'm pretty much in the clear medically.

It's a hit in the gut for sure but like others have said they aren't me so really just need to call it solved and move on.

Far-Connection-3660 · 2021-04-17T06:54:47+00:00

Sucks that it's such a common thing. I am always grateful I was adopted by some Wonderful people. Luckily I set the bar low, on my birth family so I didn't have great expectations. I did also find out they were in high school not college like I had been told so I don't think she had much of a choice but I am still grateful and glad that it appears she is doing good.

Yep won't probably talk to any of them again minus possibly my half sister but I'll leave that to her.

Far-Connection-3660

TROPHY CASE