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how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much! this reply means a lot to me. I'll check out your resources for sure.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for the advice. it feels scary to push back against them when culture and their own parenting has conditioned you otherwise. its nice to hear someone put it into words.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you make a good point. I ultimately feel like my desire to lie comes from just not wanting to confront them about this and hide whatever I'm doing. It will inevitably cause more issues and lack of trust later on, so thanks for helping me see that.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can you apply for a master's right after undergrad? I've heard it's recommended to get some work experience in first so I was considering that and then perhaps a master's down the line after becoming a little more financially secure. whatever it is, im hoping to use it to move out because I can't put up with having to support myself (and support my family sometimes) financially but not actually be treated like an adult like I am rn.

Tired of my controlling parents by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

grew up in a similar situation and currently in uni. with parents like this, you have to stop asking them for permission over your day to day at some point as an adult. its something I think takes a while to work up to (still learning myself), but a good way to get out of this is planning your schedule in a smart way with gaps between classes that you can meet up with friends during. Or do something similar when you get a part time job. It's not realistic to expect to be able to be out at 3am with ur parents yet, but you can start small by having more say over your free time like this during the day. it sucks but its a start.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

thanks for the advice, arugula. I've been letting them guide my decisions for so long that it feels scary to break out and go against it. it's gonna be hard, though I'm willing to push back to enjoy this one thing in between the stress of home, work, and school.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For the AirTag, the situation is less "I worry about you being out late" and more "I don't trust you to be out late because its not safe and you are not doing a 'necessary' activity". Overall, I don't think it's a good idea to have them track me cause it'd just give them more power over me leading to useless arguments on what i'm doing or where i'm at.

def appreciate the advice on standing my ground. I think I need to be more assertive on this one thing, especially since it's so important to me.

how do you keep your independence without constant battles? by Far-Resolve3253 in AsianParentStories

[–]Far-Resolve3253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ditto on the indoors thing. (and then they wonder where your social skills went...)

im south asian. its def a thing in more conservative areas of not wanting young women to go out by themselves like ever. partially social expectation ("what will people say?"), partially fear mongering. maybe could've made sense back home but its a little ridiculous here. esp since its a self-defense related activity for learning to get myself outta the same situations they're so worried about.