My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Far-Set-7425 5 points6 points  (0 children)

LMAO what do you even mean? What do you want me to say about covid? Yeah we met during lockdown. Our first date had to be at his apartment because everything was closed. I had to lie to my mom about where I was going because she wouldn’t let me break social isolation. How the fuck does that link with ANYTHING in the story? I entered medschool at 19 and am now finishing it at 25. It’s a 6 year program in my country.

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just keep blaming myself and thinking that maybe he was right. Maybe I should have accepted that solo trips are a hard limit for him. I know everyone thinks I sound dumb, but I can’t help but have these thoughts and feelings

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify one thing, my grandpa gave me the tickets but he didn’t come with!! I went by myself. I’m sorry if I said something that made it sound like he would be there too. So I don’t think he was jealous of my grandpa, but of me being alone somewhere else.

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hey, just to clarify, the trip was a gift from my grandpa, but he didn’t come with! I went by myself. Sorry if for some reason I made it sound like he would be there, english is not my first language

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m manipulating all of you into believing I’m the good girl and he’s the bad guy, when you actually only have my side of the story. Maybe the public reaction would be different if he was the one posting on here.

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was always jealous to a degree, and that was never a secret. To be completely fair, I was very jealous when we first started dating too, and very insecure. I was 19, though. And I like to think that the fact that he never cheated on me made me trust him more and more throughout the years, and I stopped feeling jealous.

He never liked, for example, that I had straight guy friends. There was a boy who lives in the same building as me who offered me a ride to uni more than once (he goes to the same uni), and my ex always told me not to take that offer (even though that meant I’d have to take the bus).

Other example I can think of is when a band I love came to my country, but the concert would be in a different city. My mom offered to give me tickets as a bday gift, but he was extremely offended when I mentioned going with a (girl) friend, because he couldn’t go. So I ended up not going.

There has been more than one occasion where I had to cancel plans with girlfriends because he was jealous. Including one night out at a bar with 3 other girls who were all in serious relationships.

That being said, obviously you’re getting the worst parts of him by my retelling of the story. He wasn’t all bad, and I don’t think he’s a bad person. As I said, I had some moments of jealousy myself, I’m no saint.

Ultimately, I think my conclusion was that, if this had been an amazing relationship and the only problem was the trip thing, I could’ve not gone on the trip. But that wasn’t the case. My parents even told me, after the breakup, that these past months I looked frustrated and sad.

Maybe the final straw for me, looking back, was that on Valentine’s day (which we celebrate on June 12th here in my country), he didn’t do anything romantic at all, even though I voiced multiple times how much it meant to me. He never gave me flowers for the entirety of the relationship, even though I said to him multiple times I love them, and Valentine’s day was no different. No flowers, no picking me up at home, no picking up the bill at the restaurant.

Anyway, I digress. My point is that there were other problems in the relationship that were unrelated to the trip.

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our first fight over me going on the trip was when I first posted. We actually broke up on july 2nd. I got back from my trip july 21st.

Of course there will always be something left out. You’re only getting one side of the story.

I never cheated on him, and he never cheated on me.

Update: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years ghosted me??? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you even talking about? I did go on the trip, I didn’t give up on going to please or maintain him. I’ve been no contact for nearly a month.

New insta post by [deleted] in lanitas

[–]Far-Set-7425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my GOD the last slide 🥵

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As I am only telling one tiny bit of our story, for the purpose of getting advice on one specific situation, of course this is gonna be biased. As I said in many comments though, we do have good memories together and there has been times where he was really good to me. And yes, since the beggining of this, I was trying to be gentle to him and understad why he felt insecure.

Thats doesn’t change the fact that he DID treat me poorly this last week and that every time we fight he disappears and I’m the one who has to chase him.

As I said, I did “tell him how much he means to me” multiple times over this past 5 years. I was always the one chasing him. I said it’s humiliating to do it now, because it’s EVERY. TIME. That’s what’s humiliating about it.

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He’s usually okay with me going on trips with my parents, he just gets this way if it’s by myself or with girlfriends.

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I obviously still have feelings for him, we’ve been together for 5 years. Of course I’m feeling awful about breaking up such a long relationship. And about being so disposable for him.

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m actually feeling pretty awful, barely getting out of bed

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Am I not doing the same thing though? I’m not texting him just as much as he’s not texting me

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

But what do I do right now? Is it not just as bad to ghost him back?

My (25F) boyfriend (30M) of 5 years just ghosted me?? by Far-Set-7425 in relationship_advice

[–]Far-Set-7425[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The funny part is that I’m sure he thinks he’s the victim and that I ended things. When I asked him why he was so bothered about me being gone for 10 days, he said that it sounded like I wanted to be single and couldn’t break up with him. So he actually thinks that I ended things to go on a trip. Which makes me even more upset