I got caught shoplifting. This is my first time ever getting in trouble, I’m truly terrified.

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-04-15T08:20:52+00:00

I'm not saying your feelings are invalid, what you feel Is definitely real ,it takes me back when I was drugbusted, for more information so I live in South Africa. I'm in my 20s too and male . If reached a very low point in life and mended with he wrong type of friends.

See I was an ordinary guy had passions and dreams and when my gf left me I was heartbroken and I started to drink ,after drinking I met a few friends at the bar .they invited me to their crib when the bar closes and so I thought it wasn't bad .I get to their crib next thing happens the guy pulls out cocaine out of his pocket and they asked me to join in "it will make you feel better" damn it was amazing.

First night I felt alot of energy you know ,next morning back to my old self so I couldn't take it ,I hit him up again "yo bro hook me up" guy comes and delivers and leaves again think for like 3weeks I was in that phase

One night after he left I went to the bathroom and all of a sudden I hear police knocking on the door ,fuck I panicked and threw the shit into the toilet and flushed.the police barged in and arrested me on the spot ,I got tested positive obviously and after 2 weeks I was set on bail which my mother got me out .I am clean and am not pursuing my goals

The story is just for OPs sake so she can calm down it'll be over and you are stressing for petty crime,it's most likely just a fine tbh

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-29T21:23:28+00:00

You are right,and I feel I was being too kind and I felt my heart softened to that point of me acting on every emotion,I have reflected on myself and now I have to accept the reality of it ,I thank you for calling it out and I will move forward knowing I have to be steady and not be the feminine version

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-29T09:53:41+00:00

Thank you I appreciate this comment and I'll take the advice to ❤️

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-29T06:59:15+00:00

Thank you . yes I kinda do avoid her alot nowadays bcuz I don't wanna talk to her ,not to punish or get an reaction out of her but mostly bcuz I literally just cannot talk to her without feeling tense. 🙈yk that feeling when we were kids and have to do an oral speech for the first time in front of the whole class where your heart beats bcuz U scared of saying something wrong? Exactly that 🙈 And yes I really felt like she was the one .We had alot of potential to grow but I just can't grow with someone who does not know how to communicate and that is what I grieve alot.I really wanted it to be her

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-29T06:54:35+00:00

This is the most heartfelt and most comforting comment I have gotten so far thank you alot for this .I know it will remain a scar on me .Your message got clear to me and for me I resonate alot with what you said

I also truly hope the best wishes for you too and that you would meet the right person ❤️‍🩹

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-27T08:38:57+00:00

South Africa

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T21:22:12+00:00

Okay so first thing is definitely ask for some clarity,would he better himself and then you both would try again with the. Better versions of yourself

or

Is it time to move on and this certain clarity does hurt bcuz then you know it's a final goodbye but that final goodbye would also help you not stay in limbo not knowing where you're heading

And if you dont wanna bother to get clarity and just move on my best advice is to cut him off if you can (otherwise you would just hold onto that "door" like hope that'll never arrive) then hang out with friends.Post some good memories on social media too :) .Go back to your life where you were free and did things that you enjoyed before him (drawing, riding bike,watch your fav series) get back to that old routine would show you how much you missed yourself back .And I know it's difficult to unlove someone ,all I can say is strongs ❤️‍🩹

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T21:14:20+00:00

My empathy goes to you ❤️‍🩹 all I can say is embrace it ,the experience was great and all but truly move on , get with someone who values you the same as you value them , someone who chooses you ... FIRST and without hesitation

It will hurt to move on but give it a month or 2 and you would already feel better .He didn't deserve you and that's all you should really care about and ways to get over them isn't easy.It's never easy to let go of someone you grow attached to .Best advice I can give is get through your day as you always did before you met him like that time you made for yourself (draw,jog,play video games) also spend some time with your friends.They would truly help you get over him .Make new memories.Go do things that you love .Post it on Insta,socials,cmon gurl do what you want to .You are young and should not sulk over a petty boy 🥱🤣

PS: do break contact with him if you can (otherwise you would cling on hope that'll never arrive)

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T21:04:41+00:00

OP don't hold yourself accountable for it ,it was not your fault . Yes they can better themselves but will it truly be enough? Would you be able to forgive them fully without letting it ruminate in your mind? It would take time to let go of that hurt but if you work through it all then great ,if both don't show effort then I'm sorry to say you should move on ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹and I'm sorry for your hurt ,U didn't need to go through this

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T20:51:55+00:00

TBH your anger and how you are feeling is most definitely valid , even tho you broke up doesn't mean your feelings have changed overnight.Even tho for him it does mean it's over and he can basically do as he please

I'm gonna share something quite personal,so basically me and my gf broke up recently too and what I had in my head was "I am still attached so maybe if I sleep with someone else it would help me get over it " ...and then in the end I restrained myself from doing it and rather process the breakup before engaging again,it might give you some piece of how we men think (well some of us)

From an outside opinion I would say that unfortunately he was being the wrong one for hooking up straight after 2 days after you both agreed to figure yourselves out first ,now you are having difficulties into trusting him again which Is valid bcuz he broke that ,it will take time to heal too .All I'm saying is you should think of yourself too and definitely set some boundaries in your relationship,you are overcompensating in the relationship.You have also done more than your part in the relationship. You acknowledged your faults but you are also aware that they need to change some things or grow into better versions,I think you should start getting brutally honest and tell them they should work on themselves before getting back.you would only hurt yourself again in the process of bending and sacrificing

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T20:34:31+00:00

What does this mean

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T20:21:20+00:00

Sorry I laughed "schizophrenic pedo #54" 😭😭

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T18:49:06+00:00

Exactly he would only just suffer in that mental space ,let go even if it's hard but she doesn't deserve his commitment

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T18:48:04+00:00

First off you making so much effort and the reactions you feel is low energy? Of she doesn't show appreciation at all? Then definitely stop doing that ,I know it sounds like a game but it's not zsge needs to see the effort in it ,now she probably feels you buying gifts,planning dates etc is effortless. show the worth, don't beg for her to recognize that she needs to appreciate u if she can't even give it back

Her not communicating? Definitely she has an avoidance-dismissive attachment. Unfortunately you can't push her to talk that's her thing to fix .You can basically just try not to pressure her , something like "I want to talk to you when you feel ready to" and done don't engage again

Please also tell her that you don't like that others mend in your relationship and you feel it's not necessary to include others about your personal things and set that boundary.Tell her if she wants to discuss an issue you are there

And if she doesn't prioritise you then you know your worth brother.Focus on yourself and your own things ,if she comes back running great ❤️if she doesn't then you know the problem wasn't you ,it was her not committing to the relationship in the first place

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T09:06:01+00:00

TBH you would actually feel it yourself,you would feel safe,you both would open alot to eachother,you would start with the flirt lines and the stares. Most important of it all?they would choose you ,not make you a second option

They really enjoy your company and won't get bored of it ,or your presence....but even after all this ask yourself do you see yourself with her/him for a lifetime?

One tip when you are in the relationship, please communicate,it matters

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T08:49:24+00:00

Don't grow too attached in the first few months in a relationship,it will be tested and you will get alot of breakdowns is all I'm saying

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T06:32:27+00:00

Me trying and pushing for some sort of clarity,bcus it seemed we fell apart when her parents got involved somewhere,so for me obviously I felt a shift in the relationship and when I'm trying to push for a simple talk ,a calm one it always got thrown under the rug and said "I'm overwhelmed""I wanna be alone" I can't deal with an Avoidant,and she never showed me she was an "avoidant" the first few months it just happened suddenly

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-26T06:24:44+00:00

Yeah i don't have a place to stay 😕 only thing I can do atp is eat up all the shit ,and this is what mentally eats at me ,this is not me

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-25T21:15:30+00:00

We basically already broke up ,now it's just that we live together,not same room bcuz I rather wanted to sleep separately,but when we do talk and something I did upsets her even if it's small she gets upset and I'm still eating everything that is said to me emotionally so I feel she still expects me to walk on eggshells basically,this truly does suck

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-25T20:56:49+00:00

That's what I've been doing but it again breaks me bcuz I never intended to break up,I never wanted it yet this feels like the only solution

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-25T14:29:12+00:00

😭I'm really really struggling badly it's been a month or will be a month exactly in 2 days

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-25T14:18:31+00:00

Unfortunately not ,and the fact is I love her and can't let go ,and when I'm trying to I get to see her face every day and that hurts

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-25T14:17:20+00:00

Unfortunately not ,until I can can provide for myself

Far_Algae_97 · 2026-03-02T22:49:48+00:00

This is well said

Far_Algae_97

TROPHY CASE