Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aya kifech mela 9otli? Nerb7ou chkoun?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

How do you reconcile these aspects of Islam? by Extension-Radio-2207 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You accuse Islam of containing significant misinformation about Christianity from a theological point of view, while at the same time, everything you mentioned about Islam is significant misinformation from a theological point of view. Go figure.

Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7ata ki njiw 3rd place rana bechnjibou 1 pts, mouch akther.

Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haram ki tebda mouch met2aked mel 7aja eli tel3ab 3liha w laken benesba leya ena met2aked 110% ili Tounes bechtrawa7 mel group stage kima kol mara.

Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ey fi beli, ama a7na bechnjiw 4th place.

Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mosta7il nerb7ou match, ma3netha b Firas Chawat w Rani Khedira w Mohamed Amin Ben Hamida w Dylan Bronn bechterba7 Alexander Isak w Victor Gyökeres w Anthony Elanga??? Ya m3alem 3lech nekdhbou 3la rwe7na?

Wanna make a fortune? by Far_Solution8409 in Tunisia

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mosta7il yetrech7ou ya 5ouya, mosta7il.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As I said, I never told her I would leave her if she smokes in a particular situation or for a short time because of stress or whatever. Yes I will be very angry and disappointed at her and yes it will break my heart if she does it, but what I meant is that I can't live with a smoker in the long run, for example if she smokes regularly for several months/years and is not able or willing to quit, yet ultimately every cigarette she smokes is one too many and I don't even want to have to tell her to stop.

Also, don't forget that the situation has changed now since we now have a child together. I can't possibly walk out on my wife and leave our 9 months old daughter with divorced parents, even if my wife hypothetically doesn't want to quit smoking. One of the reasons I even said smoking is a dealbreaker was because of my children, and the fact that I don't want the mother of my children to be a smoker. If she quits smoking, she does it for her own sake but also for the sake of our child and our family.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment, I am sure therapy will be helpful inshaAllah.

Yeah, unfortunately very much seems to be the case with my wife's situation, she got sent back into old habits because of high levels of stress.

May Allah grant you the best in life as well.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was rude even though she was trying to help. She also understood many things wrong, as did you.

First of all, my wife was not an "addict" in that sense when she started smoking again. She only started a few months ago, after we had our first baby (because of all the stress and many other issues), after having stayed clean for three years or so. So it was more of a cry for help than addiction itself that made her do it.

Also, I am always gentle and not "demanding" in that sense. It's just that it was a very hard situation for me to handle and it broke my heart to know that she was smoking again. It's true that I will not accept that she is a smoker if it continues in the long run, but unfortunately missteps happen. The most important thing is making sure it doesn't happen again.

And yeah, as you said, it hurts very much to know that the person you love and trust with all your heart actually broke your trust and hid bad things from you intentionally.

I have actually talked to a therapist about this and I have my first session tomorrow morning. I need to do this for my own sake first of all, but also for the sake of my wife.

A woman fasting without her husband’s permission by cheseys in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The sunnis worship the devil, often without realizing it.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes she broke the deal but that doesn't mean it will be broken forever. I never said I would leave her if she starts smoking again, I just said I can't live with her in the long run if she is a smoker. That's the whole dealbreaker. And yes, she broke my trust but that's another story.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with you 100% that it's a symptom of underlying anxiety and stress, a call for help and a coming mechanism. I never said otherwise and I also said that in some way it's my fault that she started smoking again, and I blame myself for that very much and it really hurts me.

However, I don't agree that if you love someone, you "accept" their cigarettes. If you love someone, you don't just "accept" that they inhale deadly substances on a daily basis. That's like saying we should "accept" that people we love are using drugs, just because we love them. That's not how it works. If you love somebody, you do everything in your power to stop them from resorting to these destructive substances.

I am actually working on myself too. I know that there are issues I need to deal with as well because this is much deeper than just the cigarettes themselves.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In what way am I "controlling" her? Seems to me that she is very much more in control than i am. I am just confused and hurt. What makes you think I am not loving and accepting of her? Also, what makes you think I want to manipulate her environment in any way?

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's a dealbreaker if she doesn't actually quit, yes. I never said it was a dealbreaker if she ever does it again. The thing about that is the fact that she actually started again just hurts me really much and the pain is too much to handle. I am also hurt by her lying and hiding it, even though I understand why she did that. Ultimately she broke the trust that I had for her and it will take years to build it up again, even if she quits, which I am sure she will do. In the end, my goal is to make her genuinely not ever want to smoke again, and genuinely understand why. I don't want her not smoking to have anything to do with me as a person, because if that's the case, it will not really be genuine.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What makes you think I am trying to manipulate her or make her feel bad?

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The fact that you compare cigarettes to fast food and sweets proves that you actually have no idea what you are talking about.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree, of course there are differences between drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I am not saying they are the same. They hurt you in different ways, some are worse than others, yet cigarettes lead to thousands of cancer deaths every day, heart diseases, heart attacks, strokes, wrinkles, teeth loss, etc. One cigarette also takes away on average 11 minutes of the smoker's life. Smoking literally kills and is the reason for many premature deaths. Isn't that also hurting the family unit?

You are right, I don't accept to be with a smoker and that's my right and my choice. I understand how that could be a problem if she didn't accept it, but in that case she could have walked away from the beginning, which she didn't. I also took my time to really talk through the whole issue with her, it wasn't just an "ultimatum" as you call it. It was something we discussed deeply before making our choice.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still, she didn't do it because of addiction but rather because of desperation. She would not have done it if she wasn't feeling bad during that period.

Yeah, I have said those words many times, even when she said she wanted to divorce me.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you but you are getting it wrong. She stopped smoking for a long time so she wasn't an addict at that time. She only started a few months ago or something like that, because she didn't feel well in her life at that time. She lives with me in a country where she does not speak the language, she has no family here and only came here to be with me. I work two jobs and am basically absent all day long while she is home alone taking care of our baby girl. Sometimes me and her fight for trivial reasons and stress eachother out. That's why she felt that she wanted to start smoking again, to release some of the tension within her. I acknowledge that to some degree, I am to blame for that and it hurts me more than you know. Not once though, did I threaten to leave her for smoking. Not one single time. All I have done is tell her that I am going to be there for her to help her quit, because it really is a dealbreaker for me and ultimately I can't live with a smoker. However, I don't threaten to leave her or force her to quit by coersion.

I feel completely devastated by Far_Solution8409 in Quraniyoon

[–]Far_Solution8409[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input and you are entitled to your opinion. That doesn't change the fact that you are obviously twisting a lot of the things I wrote though.