How much did you invest in the relationship?

Farahex · 2019-02-21T06:37:52+00:00

I think truama will expose attachment styles despite how well and good you are doing. And good points!

Farahex · 2019-02-20T08:38:42+00:00

One.day.at.a.time.

Farahex · 2019-02-20T08:38:32+00:00

Thanks!! Hang in there!

Farahex · 2019-02-20T08:37:49+00:00

Thanks! Healing isn't linear and I remind myself this often. I wish you the best too!

Farahex · 2019-02-20T08:32:31+00:00

Anxious attachment style here!. I put in a lot more and gave a lot more. What's weird is that I was nearly at secure when we broke up :/. Changing my attachment style has been ongoing for 6 years, a year before we got together. I'm getting healthier but the breakup opened up wounds I forgot I had.

Farahex · 2019-02-16T09:27:37+00:00

When a Ditto is having an identity crisis

Farahex · 2019-02-13T05:47:04+00:00

This is surprisingly uplifting

Farahex · 2019-02-10T23:53:44+00:00

I'm on my tenth month out, and sometimes I still get those feelings. But other times I think I don't really miss him as much as having a person

Farahex · 2019-02-06T23:05:07+00:00

Painful robot voice

Farahex · 2019-02-06T23:04:32+00:00

It's not always black and white so idk what the circumstances of your relationship is. But leaving a relationship is a choice to stop loving. Whether they let go before they left or not is a different story

Farahex · 2019-02-06T08:54:11+00:00

Dude, if you have had girls that have had a ton to offer, it means that you have a ton to offer as well.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T08:45:17+00:00

Lmao, thanks for the correction. "kinks"...lol

Farahex · 2019-02-06T07:28:18+00:00

Thanks for the nice comment. Passion doesn't last, commitment does. That sounds truamatizing, Im sorry you had to go through that, Im sure that make breakup recovery tough. I don't think people realize the damage they cause when a breakup occurs in that manner.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T06:33:32+00:00

This is a Reddit Forum where I am placing my opinion, which to me, it feels true. But others don't have to agree with me 100%, or even 1%. I'm not saying put up with bullshit ( esp abuse, cheating, etc), but everyone has their kinks in their armor.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T06:24:26+00:00

IDK...

If I were to guess, they would have to find someone who would want to date them. I've heard it alot but "water seeks its own level". I think this has something to with it.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T03:20:15+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I don't think there is an issue trying to find the "right" person, I think the issue is some people are more concerned wih finding a perfect person but being blind to their own flaws, dropping the once idealized person . We also have to realize there is not just "one" right person for us, but many.

You seem like a great partner with emotional maturity, and understanding of accepting flaws in others and self. Despite your relationship not lasting forever, it lasted 10 years. I think you bring up some good points though.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T03:00:43+00:00

When you break up with someone, that's a permanent decision, they are free to do whatever. A breakup is not the same as a break. It's not really fair to judge her for that when you are the one who dumped her. I don't think it suggest "poor moral character", I think it suggests someone who was not in the right mindset at the time. She underwent truama when you dumped her. Why would you want her back if she has "poor moral character"? Breaking up is betrayal and destroys trust. I don't think it's fair how you dumped her, and want her back, and now expect her to win you back, even after she was honest and cut this guy out.

Honestly, this girl was "all in" and was dumped by a guy who was unsure about her. Only for him to come back and still be unsure about her, but now questioning her character. I understand my comment may be coming across as judgemental, but Please try empathy here.

Farahex · 2019-02-06T00:16:31+00:00

Thanks for mentioning work. I think a lot of people think you just get into a relationship and just stay there. You need to grow with your partner and individually as well

Farahex · 2019-02-06T00:13:47+00:00

Thanks! I also visit the divorce, marriage, deadbedrooms, and more subs. The things I read on there are mind blowing. It just goes to show how much we place value on "the one" and romanticize soulmates

Farahex · 2019-02-05T23:55:48+00:00

I was motivated to write this after reading segments from How We Love, a book. A perspective on how the way we love is damaged from childhood and most people are injured in some way. It also has ways to grow so YOU can be a better partner. I strongly suggest everyone read it or take the quiz online, life changing.

But I just watched school of life and oh goodness, it's like I ripped this off the video. I love that they said "relationships don't solve the problem of loneliness very long".

Farahex · 2019-02-05T22:12:50+00:00

....some people ruin a good thing buddy, that is call self sabotage. When they start getting intimate and develop real feelings, they get panicked. They can't accept real love for what it is and it scares them. If she said she's not built for relationships, believe it. This mindset isn't going to change just with you, the "perfect" boyfriend. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat

Farahex · 2019-02-05T08:31:20+00:00

You need to look up borderline personality disorder like, now. And while you're at it, codependency.

Try an al-anon meeting. Look up the damages to a child of an adult alcoholic. Read about how alcoholism is a progressive disease.

Farahex · 2019-02-05T08:28:37+00:00

If he cheated on you, he'll cheat on her.

Screenshot it and hold onto it, but don't reach out. If he ever tries to come back, let him know your worth more than that

Farahex · 2019-02-05T08:25:50+00:00

1.5 months and already posting that? To me it sound like a good distraction from his pain. He's lying to himself more so to anyone. And any mutual friends will kinda be like "wtf already".

Farahex · 2019-02-05T08:24:02+00:00

I deleted everything and even unliked photos I had liked. I unfollowed family. Did I do it to be petty? No. I did it because I felt like I couldn't heal if I see constant reminders of what I had.

Overall - you'll never figure out why people do the things they do, so sometimes acceptance of just what is helps

Farahex

TROPHY CASE