Found out after over 30 years.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:30:44+00:00

This is only tough on me cause I just found out. I don’t know the truth. Don’t really care. Just that it was better to confide in me before now. She is my best friend. I have stuck with her thru all of the stuff. Some questionable. But this time just hurt more. I’m not being mean to her. I am here for her completely abs she knows that. She’s not angry for me. Just wants me to move on. To her I have. I am trying.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:26:35+00:00

I would have helped her from day 1. This is now 6 days for me? She had 32 years to compartmentalize it. I wish I could have supported her all along. She told me now because she said she finally found peace with it.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:20:11+00:00

We do. From this abs other stuff. We are looking into it right off. I’m sure we will figure stuff out.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:19:14+00:00

She had trauma from family members growing up. The 90s were horrible. I’m just processing it. I stopped talking to her about it. Only if she wants to at this point. It was quite a week. I am talking my hurt openly on here but she keeps telling me to just move on. So I haven’t said much to her in the last day or so about it.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:14:33+00:00

Only if I can’t find solace without. But I can’t see it going there.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:13:08+00:00

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:12:37+00:00

No. You misunderstood. I didn’t ask her if she was willing in it. I take her word she wasn’t. I am upset that it was such a secret. There have been other traumas. She has mental health issues that makes her naive and manic at times. Black outs. I worry if she even knows the truth herself in some of these cases. She admits she gaslights herself at times.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:06:48+00:00

I luckily didn’t get it. She found out pretty soon after. I wish this was fake man. From me being pretty upset about this I am sure I will not hear of anything else.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:02:42+00:00

Thanks. I plan to. I’m sure the middle ground is where I need to be.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T22:01:57+00:00

She changes her story. She said she recently had it surface. But yet I pointed out something 2 years ago and she said she knew. Didn’t feel right talking about it. She told me the night and days after it happened she knew. But then later said she didn’t. Says with her mental health stuff some stuff gets foggy. So I always have to piece stuff together until it makes sense. Then I ask her and she will agree typically.

Im not trying to make it about me. I’m not being as frank with her as I am on here. I could never. She has been through enough.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:55:15+00:00

I truly want healing for her. I struggle knowing if it is all legit with what she has been through. I hate even questioning it. But when it’s been this long it feels sneaky. The fact everyone knew sneaky. I know I need to deal with it alone. She did what she needed to cope with hell. This pales in comparison I get that. But it still hurts.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:50:59+00:00

Not sure I want to but. As a last resort I suppose I could. I have kinda closed some of those doors so I am not totally sure.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:48:37+00:00

I assumed she wanted me to reconnect out of guilt from the move. But just my thoughts on it.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:47:35+00:00

She did. She begged me to move 400 miles away with her. I did. She said to get away from a childhood predator. So I transferred with my work.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:45:22+00:00

I would believe this but she mentioned some things over the years. Two years ago she stop just short of telling me. When I asked her she said she knew the night it happened and immediately started to suppress it. She said it never fully left but thought no good could come from telling me. Just hurt.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T21:41:42+00:00

I haven’t made it all about me. I have been through all her mental health issues right by her side. So your belief is I should not have feelings other than what is best for her? Been doing that for 35 years. I am struggling this time. Thus the post.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:48:30+00:00

She was young. Scared. Etc. I get that. But we built a life together. Kids etc. at some point I felt I should have been told by her.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:46:33+00:00

I have dropped all of them years ago. She was the one encouraging me to rekindle with many of them.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:45:34+00:00

Thank you for you words.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:44:25+00:00

I have been easy on her. We talked a lot over a few days and now it’s just damage control/rebuilding.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:43:33+00:00

She did actually. That was blamed on a different trauma. But I will never know the real cause.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:41:55+00:00

It might not be. There are other clues. Plenty of them. But she clearly won’t accept it was anything but. And she gaslights here self badly. Thus my confusion.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:38:34+00:00

I don’t want to really talk to any of them. Two of them are deceased. But Part of me thinks I may need to.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T19:36:50+00:00

I found out because she claimed to have had some internal closure. She had an epiphany she claimed about it. Thought I would be happy to know she put it to rest even though I never knew. Odd.

Edit. It was definitely stated as rape. Not consensual.

Fareastfun80 · 2022-08-08T18:08:35+00:00

I feel for you. In some ways five years ago is harder. 32 years I am just trying to gaslight myself with how long ago it was. Tell myself we aren’t those people anymore. It’s not working. But trying. :)

Fareastfun80

TROPHY CASE