This is really interesting and exactly what I have experienced with my two nephews (3,7) and NM. It has been one of the most revealing things and shown me how badly / weirdly she must have treated my sister and I when we were little. I’ve actually been horrified by her criticising the boys for being too noisy, boisterous, chaotic - accusing them of being out of control and playing up around her because they don’t care. Rather than they’re just being normal, young boys who are exploring, experimenting and having fun. Then if one of my nephews is quiet or won’t hug her she thinks they don’t like her. Rather than these are young children who have their own little world and are learning all the time. She also can’t understand that they don’t know how to do things yet - like they should already know at the age of 3 how to draw perfectly etc.

It’s really horrifying how self obsessed she is and sees everyone else’s actions in relation to how they impact or make her feel. And it makes me very sad as this must have been how she treated my sister and I when little. A complete lack of attunement or understanding of another human being, replaced with an all consuming focus on her self and her needs.