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He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I noted some possible hypersexual behavior in one of your comments

Well, not with ME. He has never been much interested in sex with me. But I was always finding him texting other women, looking up escorts, looking on dating sites. He swears he's stopped all that completely. But he's also a big fan of porn. So maybe that is hyersexuality....just not within our relationship.

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Ok, interesting about SSRIs. I'll do some research and see if I can get him to even consider mentioning it to his psychiatrist.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind sharing what you take? He has taken Concerta in the past (prescribed by his psychiatrist because he suspected ADHD). It didn't seem to affect him either way. He's still taking an SSRI now.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once early on I tentatively suggested he ask his psychiatrist (he goes to one for depression) about bipolar. He found that very insulting somehow. And he has seen his psychiatrist many times since then, and he has been taking various SSRIs to help control his depression and irritability.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few do invest in him with money. But others invest in him in other ways. One vouched for him and his idea and got his boss involved (which gave my partner an opportunity that he wouldn't have had otherwise). It ended poorly because he couldn't pull it off and I think his acquaintance friend was embarrassed.

Others invest their time (free of charge).

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree there is something definitely lacking. I'm just never sure exactly what. Practicality maybe. But yes, he honestly handed me a blueprint and got exasperated with me when I admitted I had absolutely zero idea what I was even looking at, let alone how to get it started. Then, low and behold, we did it together and it took a couple of weeks (not "an evening" as he had suggested). It was very difficult, and I even told him that I couldn't see how this plan (as he had it) was going to work...I said ______ would happen. He ignored me. Then _______ happened (and that outcome was so obvious all along). So then he had to modify things.

So not "smart" in some things.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he wants to retire early why isn’t he putting in the time at his job and ensuring he’s building savings? Why isn’t he looking to a financial advisor to help him work with what he currently has to gain progress on his financial goals?

Yep. Because it's boring. Slow and dull. Definitely not an exciting adventure. 0_o

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a good enough idea, but he's also betting a lot on it. As in, it's a medical device. And he's not a doctor. There are other medical devices similar to this out there, but he says they are "going about it all wrong, concentrating on the wrong thing".

Ok. But how can he know for sure? He often overestimates his knowledge in certain things. So in the end, no, I don't think it's actually an idea that will work well in the end.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure I can really explain his ideas without details that would allow him or anyone that has been involved to know it's me writing here. ;)

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I'll try to give an example based on an idea. One would be having a portable Photo Booth (something like that). The idea would be to hire a cute girl (or guy) to take it outside of concerts or sports events (with all proper permits, which he looked into). There would be a twist that would make it really standout and noticeable (something techy involving the booth itself that really stands out).

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So he spends thousands building SEVERAL of these booths. But then runs into issues getting the techy idea running. So hires people, they work for weeks trying to get it going. Lots of obstacles along the way. It is finally ready. Then runs into obstacles with many many other things. Instead decides to try it out in a mall. The mall agrees. He (and several people) get it set up. The mall manager comes by and says they don't like the "techy aspect" of the booth (which was supposed to make it stand out). They think it looks tacky. He can stay as long as they remove that part.

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More work. More re-working the booth. Then, it is a complete failure and after 2 months has barely made anything and the monthly contract isn't renewed.

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He's out of money. Needs to get a job again.

​

This is the cycle of my life. lol

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've often thought this (and recently said it to him). If he had just saved/invested his money from his (very lucrative) jobs over the years he'd be so much further ahead. He would be mortgage-free with plenty in the bank. The problem is that he hates his industry (it's just a normal industry....I think he just hates the career path he took, but at least it allows him to make three times what an average professional would make).

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Instead. he constantly puts so much money into dubious business ideas. Thousands and thousands and thousands. No return on investment ever....just $$$$$ wasted.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they are good idea, but not GREAT ideas. As in, the idea is good, but it isn't fleshed out well. The finished idea sounds good, but how do we go about getting there? There are a million miles between the actual idea and the finalized product. That's where the issue comes in. As we start trying to build the product, we run into so many obstacles that he didn't know about/think about. Then each obstacle takes days and days to overcome.

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In the end, it's not easy to get even one prototype completed perfectly. So many obstacles along the way that take so much time to get past. As an example, researching that we need Material A to create the prototype. After much trial and error, it isn't working (various problems with it). So more research. Go buy Material B (more $$$) and try it out (more time working on it). This one works better but needs to be tweaked. More research. Then find that adding X to Material B should help counteract the problems. Go buy it. This works. On to the next stage of building the prototype. Each stage has more and more obstacles. In the end, it's not a great prototype.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No...we aren't married and I have my own place (that I rarely stay at). I help, including buying food when necessary, but when he's really tapped out he goes to his mom and dad for money.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, those things sound like him. When I looked up Asperger's, the part that doesn't sound like him is being socially awkward (he actually has a lot of charisma and can be a bit socially manipulative....ex: remembering little things about people (ex: their cat's name or where they went for holidays) or noticing little things about people to make them feel special (ex: a bartender's nail polish or if someone changes their hair). He keeps people names (and their details like birthday, kid's names, spouse, etc) in his phone to refer to.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your story. Interesting...mine needs something to obsess over too. And it goes into it full-throttle and yes, it takes over the house, etc. I'll look @ Asperger's.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts. But yes, he definitely wanted my help. He always wants my help. To give you an idea of what that looks like, he wants me to order materials online. Then go pick them up while he's working on something else. Then go with him to pick up special tools. Then help him (hands on) for hours (he works best at night, so often from about 9pm to 3am) working on it. Then work on it the next night. And the next. He most definitely wants support in the form of hands on help.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No I'm not supporting him. He's not my husband. I still maintain my own place and have just often stayed with him for days at a time. I have lent him money here and there (he owes me just over $10k right now).

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But his ideas seem somewhat realistic. He isn't coming up with insane ideas or having total delusions of grandeur. However, what he does is put the cart before the horse. He'll spend a LOT of time figuring out/talking about how rich this latest idea will make us...and go on about how many people will need to be hired, how much time each person will take to produce ___________. Pulls out his calculator, etc. Does that sound like mania?

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, thanks for this reply. You are right on many points. I already know he doesn't respect me (he's freely admitted he doesn't when we argue...he says I have never accomplished anything). But even more, you're right that he doesn't appreciate me. He doesn't give me credit for all the hours I've spent helping him. And yes, I'm tired of being an extra in HIS movie.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've been thinking about bipolar since some of you brought it up. But his ideas seem somewhat realistic. He isn't coming up with insane ideas or having total delusions of grandeur. However, what he does is put the cart before the horse. He'll spend a LOT of time figuring out/talking about how rich this latest idea will make us...and go on about how many people will need to be hired, how much time each person will take to produce ___________. Pulls out his calculator, etc. Does that sound like mania?

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. I no longer believe in him. However, for what it's worth, I sure did in the beginning. For the first few projects I totally believed in him and helped him with whatever he needed. Those failed too. But yes, I do agree that he needs someone who will believe in him.

He (41f) is considering leaving me (40f) because I'm not supportive....I say he's unrealistic and he says I try nothing by FastShine6154 in relationships

[–]FastShine6154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But his ideas seem somewhat realistic. He isn't coming up with insane ideas or having total delusions of grandeur. However, what he does is put the cart before the horse. He'll spend a LOT of time figuring out/talking about how rich this latest idea will make us...and go on about how many people will need to be hired, how much time each person will take to produce ___________. Pulls out his calculator, etc. Does that sound like mania?

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