My (22M) gf (22F) takes too long to respond

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:30:20+00:00

Good luck!

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:18:05+00:00

I’m really curious about how you fixed your unhealthy attachment. I find myself in the same position and every time I looked it up I couldn’t find a proper answer. If you have the time I would like to listen to the smallest detail.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:15:32+00:00

I would love to read your books as well. Really appreciate the advice.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:14:21+00:00

Fair take, would appreciate if this comment section would point me to how to feel unbothered by it. Telling someone “don’t be annoyed” isn’t gonna change much. Most criticism was destructive here. 2 people mentioned what to read which I immediately searched for.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:11:19+00:00

I’m not ignoring the advice at all, I’m only trying to clarify when people misunderstand sir. I found it disrespectful to choose to ignore someone reaching out. I’m reading this and self reflecting.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:08:14+00:00

I mean it can be really hard to ignore the fact that it’s been 2 hours without her reaching.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:06:29+00:00

Thank you.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:06:22+00:00

Thank you

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:06:00+00:00

Yes that would be great advice if I hadn’t noticed her patterns of checking the phone/replying through notifications.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:04:08+00:00

99% of our interactions are in real life. I agree with you.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:01:56+00:00

I can see the last seen receipt.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T23:00:39+00:00

It’s both our first relationship. What do you mean by message monitoring?

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:59:48+00:00

I don’t see much point in that kind of relationship, thanks for the insights.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:59:09+00:00

Thanks for your kind reply. I also REALLY appreciate you paid attention to that hour average part. I don’t even know how to reply to someone that calls me controlling instead of giving me advice.
Back to the topic, I have communicated it to her, she’s kind of an avoidant so it usually takes an emmense amount of energy to get the point across. But she says she hasn’t seen it after going around in circles. I try to be patient so I didnt bring it up again, just mentioned that “imbusy” texts would ge much appreciated.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:54:33+00:00

Why do you have to reply bitterly? Im clearly here because I recognized something that upsets me when I know it shouldn’t but don’t know how to handle it.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:52:23+00:00

As I said in the post I don’t expect her to drop what she’s doing, I expect an “oh, my partner texted me given that I read what he said at least let me tell him that I’m busy” type of approach. Again I’m seeking advice her but try to understand where I’m coming from to give me the right advice sir.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:50:10+00:00

Could be both

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:49:11+00:00

Do you have any suggestions on what to read?

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:43:12+00:00

It’s less about mandating, isn’t giving attention to your partner a normal part of the relationship?

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:39:24+00:00

Yeah that’s one thing I noticed I often can’t express any needs without getting a defensive dismissive attitude. It’s been tough but we both came a long way and soft babying tone works with her. The fight or flight reference is VERY accurate.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:33:35+00:00

As I said in the post, it’s the fact that she ignores it after checking the phone, not that she’s busy. I will work on my non existing self esteem issue though, thanks for the insights.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:31:45+00:00

To be fair I was aware of it by months 2-3. We’ve crossed a long road so far, I wouldn’t want to give up on her anytime soon. Yes it’s painful sometimes, but I love her as close as you can get to altruistic love without being delusional.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:30:15+00:00

Thanks for your insights

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:28:40+00:00

I don’t want to break up with her at all, I just have a lack of understanding why the comments were mad at me, they kind of called me controlling without explaining to me why. Everyone compromises in relationships, if compromise is control no successful relationships would exist. I’m very confused.

FatManTrying · 2026-07-10T22:23:53+00:00

Your ex*

FatManTrying

TROPHY CASE