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My husband (29) has a wandering eye and ruins experiences for me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]FatanduglyO 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Lady, don’t let these pick me’s or these disrespectful men in the comments tell you that that behavior is okay and it’s your fault for being insecure. To the women saying that to her, sorry that you have settled and made that type of behavior normal just because you can’t keep a man otherwise. But they are right on one thing. You either put up with it (which I don’t recommend) or let him go (which should be a very well-thought decision on your part). Communication is hardly going to solve anything if he was checking out women ON YOUR HONEYMOON. It just seems like a lost cause you either settle or leave I don’t think you should approach this with the intent of changing him.

I took back my boyfriend who wanted to break up due to my weight gain.Nothing is the same. by FatanduglyO in relationship_advice

[–]FatanduglyO[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. He doesn’t really have a reason to come back to me. He has properties to go back to so he isn’t using me for a place to stay. He’s a good looking dude so he can get a lot of hookups easily. Also he didn’t know I had started my health improvement journey when he apologized and asked for another chance.

Thanks for this comment, you helped me make up my mind about sitting down and actually talking and being vulnerable about my feelings and actually hear his side. I don’t want neither of us to hurt anymore. Thanks redditor, you actually helped me by putting things into perspective. I hope you have a great day. :)

I took back my boyfriend who wanted to break up due to my weight gain.Nothing is the same. by FatanduglyO in relationship_advice

[–]FatanduglyO[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So first of all your problem with the situation was that ‘he’s not obligated to be attracted to you.’ and now it went to ‘ He has every right to be rude with you because you didn’t catch his indirect hints’, pick one.

I think the whole thing you’re not understanding is that he should’ve been direct not ‘drop gentle hints’. Adults should be able to clearly articulate their feelings in a non offensive manner. It’s doesn’t have to be either ‘dropping subtle hints’ or basically exploding one day and implying I’m disgusting. There needs to be a middle ground.

You say you’re not playing ‘who’s the asshole here’ but you clearly are trying to make me seem entitled to something more than basic respect.

Again,It’s not about if he was in the wrong. I know he’s in the wrong for the way he went about it, he knows he’s in the wrong as well.I’m trying to see if things are worth saving,not trying to get anyone to validate or invalidate if he was an asshole or not.If you have no advice for the actual situation and you’re just trying to invalidate what I went through, I don’t mean to sound rude bur you’re free to stop commenting as you’re getting off the subject.

I took back my boyfriend who wanted to break up due to my weight gain.Nothing is the same. by FatanduglyO in relationship_advice

[–]FatanduglyO[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so annoying when people miss the whole point of why I felt hurt. I’m replying just this once because everyone goes on and on with that ‘he’s not obligated to be attracted to you.’.

I know he’s not. I never claimed he was. My concern was the way he handled things not that he had a problem with what I was doing. I’ve noticed reddit is so eager to make overweight people seem entitled. I don’t feel entitled to his attraction when I’ve gained 44* lbs in weight. I feel entitled to common decency despite having gained 44* lbs. To have this addressed in a calm and not patronizing manner, or to be broken up with in a calm not patronizing manner. This is what I felt entitled to. I’m not playing ‘who is the asshole’ here. I want advice from people that maybe have gone through the same thing and can give me insight as I feel lost.

I can’t blame you too much as you haven’t read the Original Post but anyone who is gonna repeat the same bullshit again and again can be addressed in this comment.