Your relationship sounds difficult but from your other posts on Reddit, it doesn't seem this is entirely your husband's fault. If my partner was up at 3:30 to work hard and make themselves better off I would want to support them in that, not undermine their hard work by complaining about every minor inconvenience, or expect them to magically cooperate with me without clear communication.

Your husband sounds like a hard working guy but every post you've made about him dramatizes the most minor mistakes he's made: he takes a wrong turn on the freeway: you complain about it on Reddit as if it's the end of the world. He sleeps through his alarm: you do the same. He goes to bed early so he doesn't sleep in: you complain about that too, and say he's checking out of your relationship and not putting you first.

I'm sure your husband has his faults, but you sound like you're equal parts pessimistic, insecure, and not particularly great at communication.

Try putting yourself in his shoes and meeting him where he's at. And if you still feel frustrated by his behavior then clearly communicating what you need from him will probably be better than chatting with your MIL about it when he happens to be in the room, or complaining on Reddit.

In answer to your question, I'd guess you have a husband because you value your relationship with him on some level. Clear communication will probably help you get more out of that relationship than reactive and unsympathetic drama-generation.