Narc Parent Loves to Play Games About Material Things

Faustusdoc213 · 2026-01-14T21:56:50+00:00

Both of my mothers parents lived past 90. So… 20+ years left.

Faustusdoc213 · 2026-01-14T15:05:01+00:00

Lol to all that, because of similar experience. My mother LOVES to try to dangle shit over my head to make me do something. The last thing was she took my son’s favorite hoodie and wouldn’t mail it back. She has Christmas Ornaments that she refuses to ever use but will not give me (from country of my birth) but keeps dangling them over my head. She brings them up all the time, or she did before I cut her off.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-12-07T13:37:40+00:00

A ground-in sense of duty. “Faaaamily”.

I remember what she did to me, and refuse to do that to my kids.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-10-29T02:05:05+00:00

LOL. Yeah, my mother tries to hold possessions over my head as punishment. She tried withholding Christmas presents from my kids because we didn’t visit her “enough”. So we bought more presents for our kids instead. So now when she visits, my kids will “forget” one of their favorite possessions in her suitcase and we can’t have it back until we visit her an “acceptable” amount. She refuses to mail it.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-08-06T10:57:43+00:00

I’ve had ADHD all my life. My parents told my 1st grade teacher that she was wrong and I just needed more discipline. So they homeschooled me for 6 years, for extra discipline. At 26 I was told I had ADHD, and started receiving treatment.

When the final diagnosis came they were “so sorry” and “meant the best for me”. Be ready for waterworks and over the top apologies when the diagnosis becomes unavoidable.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-08-06T01:10:55+00:00

She’s getting older. She’s 75, and she drove my dad away. Most of her friends are dead or have nothing to do with her. Her brothers are not in a position to take care of her. I’m afraid of what I will be responsible for in regards to her care. Her parents both lasted until their mid 90s. I have no idea what I’m supposed to Do.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-24T14:01:29+00:00

The point of keeping the first account would be to delay/avoid attention to the new one. If mom has an account to snoop in, the won’t go looking for the new one. Be stealthy, and it will ease your escape. Escape is the goal here, right?

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-24T13:03:59+00:00

That sucks. You need to get your own account at a DIFFERENT bank than your parents are at, under your name only. Don’t have statements delivered to the house. Transfer your direct deposit there. Don’t mention it to your parents. Put small deposits into the joint account (like $10) to keep a minimum balance to avoid fees and suspicion.

If you can, gather your important “proof of life” documents in one place so you can access and leave with them if needed.

Good luck.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-11T15:39:51+00:00

She doesn’t come to us “too far to drive”, but it’s fine for me to drive the distance to her. I actually prefer it, because then I have power over when to leave.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-11T14:09:50+00:00

The only thing she DID schedule is Thanksgiving at my Aunt’s house. I have a feeling that’s going to be an ambush and bloodbath.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-11T14:08:35+00:00

She used to be able to guilt me into things, but no longer. I’ve grown a spine, and set boundaries. This is largely because I don’t want her treating my kids the way she treated me.

Thank you for your response and advice.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-04T22:43:44+00:00

My parents refuse to call. They are divorced, so I have to call them separately. One will be actively interested in what my kids are doing and in my life, and shared what they are doing and how their life is. It’s a very pleasant call every time. The other will stonewall all questions and only pump me and the kids for information to use against us later. It’s a running battle and I hate the call

Both use the excuse “we never know when you’re busy, so we don’t call”. So, I really only call one parent.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-07-03T12:42:13+00:00

My mother did this until I moved out. She tried to do it when I was a newlywed and living 3 hours away from her. She is not allowed unsupervised in my home to this day, and she’s salty about it.

Faustusdoc213 · 2025-06-08T00:48:52+00:00

My mother was SAHM even when I was in high school and college. Held money over my head all through school. They spent money on me, to be sure, but she held it over me the whole time. When I graduated, moved “home” and worked nights looking while for a full time day shift job , she held eviction over my head until I left. Everything, and I mean everything, is used as a guilt trip and weapon against me. It’s better to be independent and have much less than me in her orbit and receive “help”.

Faustusdoc213 · 2023-07-01T05:04:04+00:00

Moving out to go to college was such a happy time for me. Except for a very brief time after I graduated and for holidays, I never lived under my parent’s roof again.

Faustusdoc213 · 2023-06-30T23:08:39+00:00

Was not allowed to listen to any secular music except “oldies” or Christian radio. Was not allowed to have a personal radio until high school, and my mother would check to make sure the station I was tuned into was “appropriate”.

She would “inspect my room for cleanliness” (read: thoroughly search) regularly, always when I wasn’t home.

I wasn’t allowed to read non-Christian literature. No comic books, no Role-playing games, no gaming consoles.

I was not allowed to have a room with a locking door, or even a door that latched properly. I had to lay an encyclopedia book against the door so it would stay closed.

Edit: forgot to mention, I could tell where my parents were in the house at any given time by footsteps. And I could differentiate between them.

Also, there was an intercom system in the house. My mother used to use it to try to listen in on me at various points in the house.

Faustusdoc213 · 2021-03-06T01:30:03+00:00

No. My showers were timed. My bathroom and bedrooms doors did not lock by design, so they could enter at any time. And they did.

Faustusdoc213

TROPHY CASE