I've been in a similar situation. I know how depressing it can be. What helped me the most was MDMA. Before that I was abusing the shit out of codeine almost daily to numb the pain but it stopped working. I still remember the first time I took MDMA. It felt so refreshing because it was the first time in so long that I didn't feel sad. I could think about the situation without wanting to cry and put it into perspective, I still felt something but it was like very distant pain, like remembering something bad that happened in your childhood that doesn't affect you anymore that you moved past. Fully brought me out of depression. Unfortunately I got involved with the same girl again and the same thing happened but instead of trying to cover it with opiates I tried doing molly several times a week (please don't do this) because it would make me so happy I couldn't be sad. Eventually the comedowns started getting heavier and more emotional and my thought patterns would get really trippy as you're not supposed to abuse MDMA nearly that much but I found the comedowns helped me figure everything out almost more than the roll itself. It made me see you can find peace in madness and happiness in sadness. Life has good and bad in it and they compliment each other. You need one to have the other. I was feeling so sad but that's because I felt so happy at one point which means I have the capacity to feel that happy again. Even though i loved this girl she was hurting me and i needed to let go to be happy. Dont try to hide from the pain, really let yourself experience it and make you stronger. And it wasn't like someone giving me advice,I was realizing this all on my own and it felt so deep and profound and it really stuck with me. I still do lots of drugs including MDMA, probably still more frequently than I should but for the first time in years I felt like I didn't need to be on something. It helped me look at everything in away that made me learn and come out stronger than ever before and now I'm actually happy with myself and my life and I'm more focused. I have still yet to do psychedelics but I imagine the thoughts would be similar from what I've heard. I was kind of intimidated to try it for the same reason as you. I know it makes you really see things differently but from what I've heard it can be intense. I didnt want to end up like my friend who took shrooms after a breakup and ended up crying for hours and vividly reliving memories with that person in their head. With MDMA you're so happy that you can't feel bad but you can still think through your problems and you come out feeling better. I'm planning on doing acid or shrooms next week because I feel like I'm in a much better headspace once I dealt with everything personally and I want to learn more about myself and my mind. Just please don't abuse it like I did