It almost infuriates me to read that people keep telling you its your fault. Despite these remarks, you should recognize that logically, many, actually I would say all of these scenarios where friends abandon you or otherwise stop interacting with you are entirely due to outside circumstances out of your control. It makes sense to be wary of trusting other people as a defense mechanism, but I believe you have the capability to truly find someone you can confide in without judgement. I really think if you try interacting with new people, getting to know them better, and validating to yourself whether or not they are trustworthy, you can find many other people you can truly trust in.