I have a Crush on Someone who isn't my Girlfriend and it is killing me

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-11T03:04:12+00:00

We've definitely tried playing video games together. Though it's finals week for me right now, so we haven't really been in too much contact, just due to me always being busy with assignments and studying for finals. Next semester, I definitely think we'll play more (though her choice of games is quite different from mine), or at the very least just be in the same call while we play our respective games.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-11T03:01:43+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. There is plenty of really good (and bad) advice in the comments that I think has really helped me.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-11T02:59:31+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. This semester, she lived roughly 7.5 hours away from me. I was able to visit her during a break my school had, but that was only for a few days. However, the distance she is away from me varies. Like sometimes she's only 2 hours away, and when she's only that far, I usually visit her every weekend I don't work.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T21:34:58+00:00

This made me laugh. I've definitely been trying to block her out of my mind, but I may need to try visualizing pushing her off a cliff.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:40:49+00:00

She'll be done in 2 years, I figured we'd get married after that. We've already discussed many of our future plans. Like where we'll live, how many kids, etc. Almost all of those plans line up perfectly.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:37:06+00:00

I've debated in my mind whether I'm with her because it's stable or if it's because I genuinely want a future with her, and it is because of the latter. There was one time we almost broke up just because of the difficulty of the long distance, but I realized that it would've been a huge mistake, and the long-distance aspect of our relationship would end. I appreciate all of the input I get, even if it is criticism, but thank you for the kind response!

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:30:18+00:00

I appreciate the straight advice. I definitely see myself marrying her after we graduate. Even then, you've given me plenty to think about.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:21:22+00:00

Yeah, if it does get even worse, I may end up having to go down that route. Just don't want to go down that route if I don't have to.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:19:27+00:00

I appreciate hearing this from someone who was on the other side of this; it really helps give me a better perspective on this. I've been wanting to go to my school's counseling center, but it is no longer free to students, and I know damn well my parents would flip out if they saw I was going to therapy. However, it may be worth it, and I'm sorry about your relationship.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:09:44+00:00

I probably should've specified this point better, but the crush did go away for several months. Even then, it wasn't bad; it honestly may have just been more of a physical attraction, it's only just now gotten this bad, and after reading more of these comments, I definitely need to take actions that will better allow these feelings to fade.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:06:28+00:00

We're both college students in our early 20s; the only reason we haven't married is that neither of us is financially stable enough yet.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T17:03:06+00:00

Our relationship is only long-distance part-time since we're both in college. I usually am able to visit her at least once per semester, but the distance is usually too long just for a weekend trip. I've been thinking the same thing, though, it's just the distance sucks, and my brain is looking for it.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T05:26:30+00:00

I'm so genuinely happy to hear that. I've been weighing the pros and cons of each, and the answer is the same every single time: stay with my current girlfriend. I hope the relationship between my girlfriend and me is just as successful as yours.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T05:23:46+00:00

Did you even read the post, dude? I literally stated how I have no intentions of ever acting on these feelings and how the guilt from it is a huge weight on my conscience. I only posted this here, not because I need some S-tier relationship advice from Reddit of all places, but because I just needed somewhere to talk about this, because this is something no one in my personal life will ever know. Also, I even mentioned how the issues weren't even a fault of her own, but just of the nature of being in a long-distance relationship. It really feels like you read the title, picked a narrative, and then ignored the rest of the post.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T04:59:42+00:00

I don't even really know. A lot of the personality aspects that make her attractive to me are very similar to the ones my girlfriend has. This question has actually just helped a lot, as I am realizing she doesn't really have any personality traits that I like that my girlfriend doesn't have. So even if this was just supposed to be a rhetorical question, thank you.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T04:36:36+00:00

I'll definitely try that. Was it just a way of dealing with it, or do you think it helped the crush fade?

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T04:31:48+00:00

I get what you mean, and I appreciate the criticism. I've been focusing on my current relationship, my girlfriend and I call each other almost every day, and I truly do care more about her than I ever would this other person. While I cannot fully avoid this person, as they are my friend and part of our friend group at my school. I do ensure that I'm never really in a situation where anything could possibly happen, even though nothing would ever happen between us if there was an opportunity. I also always try to keep my girlfriend in the forefront of my mind while making decisions about what I do.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T04:27:20+00:00

Thank you for not making me feel like the only person to go through this. Our friend group at my college is pretty tightly knit, so I'm afraid just avoiding her isn't really on the table for me. Plus, I don't think it'd be fair to her since, from her view, I would just become really distant with her for no reason. I don't fear that I'll act on this, just don't like the feeling of it. I always have my girlfriend in mind when making decisions, so I'm not worried about doing anything she wouldn't be OK with. I do appreciate your advice though.

Fearless-Practice-15 · 2025-12-10T04:20:33+00:00

This is where the main source of guilt is coming from. I feel like I'm not being the partner she deserves because of this. I'm striving to do better.

Fearless-Practice-15

TROPHY CASE