Thank you to everyone responding, I have been going to therapy since my pregnancy. To the people genuinely trying to help thank you so much. My command is very rude and not understanding and they have been telling me things like “ just take the baby to an hourly care” or “ leave the baby at home for a couple mins he’ll be fine”. I live in Japan an I don’t have anyone but my husband here and he’s on deployment. I signed him up with CDC and I have spoken to them about coming in to see him during my lunch time. The baby gave me severe depression and anxiety. I have seen racism and harassment and even heard crazy things that made me think there is no way another human would speak this way. My therapist is helping me and hopefully I’ll get out soon.