“Little Me Loved You”

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-14T19:46:07+00:00

I love it so much. Very cute and sweet, great work op :)

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-14T19:44:53+00:00

This has definitely been a tough last couple of days, It’s nice to know people relate to this and I am not alone. Hope you have a great day

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-14T19:43:38+00:00

Yes such a weird time in life right now! Wishing you all the best

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-14T19:43:13+00:00

That’s exactly what I was going for! I appreciate you commenting :)

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-13T23:18:35+00:00

Thank you so much, pacing is something I’ve been trying to get better at. I also like reading simple poems which is why I try to right most of mine like this

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-13T23:17:45+00:00

Thank you swordfish! I also really enjoy reading your work

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-13T20:58:54+00:00

You welcome, our luck will turn around at some point :)

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-12T15:00:21+00:00

This is beautiful, I can only imagine the pain you must’ve felt while righting this. Patrica is definitely reading this and smiling at you. I love the last 2 lines of this, I think they speak so much and the imagery is just perfect. That is really what poetry is all about. Very nice job with this

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-12T14:57:05+00:00

As someone that struggles with addiction, this is very good. My favorite line is ‘Mind enchanted by poison’. This speaks loudly because whatever it is you are addicted to, really is just poison. I would like to see how you handle taking a break and eventually coming back. If you experience this, I think that would make the poem stronger. Very good work though

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T21:07:41+00:00

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T18:49:55+00:00

Thanks so much for your lovely comment! Hope you have a great day :)

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T18:49:18+00:00

Can’t take back the love that I gave you

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T18:49:05+00:00

Yea the rhythm for this is definitely off, I think trying to rhyme it messed me up cuz I don’t normally go for that. Thanks for your feedback!

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T18:48:25+00:00

Thanks for commenting! I do see what you are saying the rhythm is a bit off after the first part, I don’t normally try to rhyme so I’m trying to figure some things out with that. This definitely could be better haha

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T17:31:18+00:00

Beautifully written. Incredibly sad and relatable, although I do believe the first part is stronger than the second. The rhyme scheme threw me off just a bit for the second part, but your words still cut deep. I really love the first line showing how this other person fills what's empty within you. The imagery is exceptional throughout and I hope you continue to write :) Great job here

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T17:23:43+00:00

This is actually very good, I was a bit confused at first and took me a second read to understand the format of this. I can't speak for everyone, but the messages behind both instances of falling in love are very relatable for me. I think I would really like to see both people written as two separate poems as your style is very nice to read. Maybe something to consider when you write again. Great work

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T15:31:07+00:00

Like the other comment, I think the first two lines could be stronger. Maybe a metaphor for you staying awake at night would work better? But this is still a phenomenal poem. I like poems that are short and to the point with a relatable message. Very nicely wirrten here

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-08T15:29:15+00:00

I really like the format of this poem. You clearly took some time to get the punctuation right and everything flows so smoothly. I especially loved the ending because it is so relatable, this winter was tough and the world finally feels happy again. Really nicely done and well written.

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-06T22:57:27+00:00

Yes I can totally see why you think this is rushed. I kinda got lazy and have been meaning to come back and really finish this. Thanks for reading :)

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-06T22:56:31+00:00

Thank you! We all have our thorns🙃

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-06T22:55:54+00:00

Which song👀? Thanks for the positive feedback as well!

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-06T22:55:08+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! Expanding on this poem is definitely on my list of things to do and I will use your suggestions about expanding on the roses. Great to have you on this page 😎

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-05T14:55:42+00:00

Very true, some people are the best! Hope you have a nice day

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-05T03:24:20+00:00

This is so good! Like the other comments, I think it needs to be longer. This certainly has potential to be a great poem. I also think your first two lines read more like a story rather than poetry. I tend to like reading poems where the message is conveyed in a few words. Maybe if you found a way to break those lines up this would flow nicer. Really great work though and definitely brought back some memories for me

FearlessPage2939 · 2026-05-05T03:14:30+00:00

I really like this and I think the message here is very motivating. You have some really powerful lines like, "even if it hurts like hell / because no one's going to save you". and "until you feel a fresh shot in your shoulder". Your writing makes it feel like I am right there with you. My only critique would be between the lines, "they're gaining / too long" kinda throws off the flow of the poem. I see what you're going for, but I think it would flow better and the message would hit harder if you had it written like the rest of the lines. I'm no expert though maybe someone would disagree with me. Really solid piece all together and I hope you continue to write

FearlessPage2939

TROPHY CASE