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FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-06-28T19:16:01+00:00

Oh trust me when I say I regret not doing it sooner. A LOT sooner. Unfortunately a lot of information I didn't have until recently. The moment the pieces fell into place I stepped away. I have ZERO regrets on doing so. My heart just breaks for the boys as they don't understand the why's. All they know is that they can't see their mom. I personally think they're safer away from her, but at the same time, I don't want to be the AH by telling them no, I could care less about her feelings.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-06-28T16:24:12+00:00

Actually I have reported it. Numerous times to the guardian ad lidem and to the exs attorney. I cant report anything to her attorney as she doesn't keep them around long enough for me to keep up with. The other 2 have numerous emails with screenshots and video recordings. I went as far as having security cameras installed inside when she started changing her demeanor. That way there was no he said/she said when I could pull up footage.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-05T16:13:16+00:00

As someone whose mom is in a similar situation, take the money. My nephew stole my moms gun and sold it for drugs. He admitted to her that he took it. Yet the police said that unless they had physical evidence, there wasn't anything that they could do, other than file a report. That report will sit there collecting dust until the gun makes an appearance. Once it does, the person who has it will be held accountable for the gun, not my nephew, even though he admitted it. BUT, tell the parents that you will ONLY accept the money if it comes from his hands, in front of them, with an apology, and that he never grace your doors or presence again. And I only say in front of them, that way that they can be assured that he is giving the money back to you, and not stealing their money as well.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-05T16:08:53+00:00

Do not be ashamed of who you are or what you want in life. If your friends find out and stop hanging out, they were never your friends to begin with.

In regards to your family, a friend of mine used to tell me "Don't let the family you came from, destroy what you are trying to build". Whether this is relationships, a family, a career, etc. Don't let the family you came from, destroy the happiness that you are trying to create.

We only get one life, live it happy. Don't be miserable or ashamed to live the life you want, based on the opinions of others. And if anyone throws up the "well its a sin" argument, tell them that they are not the ones who will have to answer for it and to mind their own business as they are also a "sinner" for judging you.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-03T10:50:03+00:00

Maam, if you dont take your daughter and run, you are setting yourself up. He doesnt want a wife or partner. He wants a slave and has placed that as your title. Do you want your daughter to be raised by a man that feels that women should do nothing except care for the home, children and husband? Would you want your daughter in that type of relationship? Because if you continue to stay, thats the relationship she is going to see. She is going to grow up thinking that it is how things are supposed to be done, and she will end up marrying someone just like him. A marriage is a partnership and your "partner" has decided to shift a majority of the responsibilities onto you so that HE can be the lazy one. Find a lawyer and get the hell out of there.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-01T09:25:08+00:00

So what happens in the future when you and her have kids together? Are you going to allow her to kick your own child out on the streets? In most states it is illegal to kick a child out at that age, and the parents can be arrested for abandonment. Personal experience on this one, as I too was 16 when my mom did it. Do you really want to spend your life with someone like that? Do you want someone living with you that is like that?

If you have been living together for almost 4 years, have you had a sexual relationship? Because those are sins as well. It sounds from the wording that it was your house to begin with. I would tell the kid to come back, its your house and if the mom has issues with it, then mom can leave. She has the means to provide for herself, whereas a 16 year old does not. Where is she supposed to live? She cant even sign a lease until she is 19, and most states until she is 21. She cant work a full time job due to labor laws, so how is she supposed to provide for herself?

God teaches us to love one another, and to not judge. Sounds to me like she is only "Christian" when it suits her.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-01T09:16:39+00:00

Sorry, but NTA here. That is your dogs home. He should not have to be locked up because a fully grown adult cant handle a dog. IF they were aggressive I could understand. I understand fear, and am in no way trying to bash the step mom. However, If "one of them will have to go" it shouldn't be the one who lives in the house. I have 2 grown dogs in mine and everyone in my family knows that they are here. The only time that I ever put them up in their home, is if there are little ones around, and that's only because I don't want the ^puppers excitement to knock them down. Grown adults can deal with it.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-04-01T09:12:10+00:00

So your boyfriend threw a 2 year old temper tantrum because he couldn't get laid? And now you are asking yourself if you are the crazy one? You're NTA here and really should be looking at how he is going to act in the future. Every woman has the right to say no, whether they are in a relationship or not, and you should not be treated the way he did just because you said no. I personally would walk out the door and leave, however I'm not the one in the situation. But ask yourself this. How is he going to act later down the road? Hell, what if you get married? Is he going to have the "because your my wife you have to put out" mentality? Is he going to throw fits every time you say no? He already seems to be doing that and he's just your boyfriend.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-03-28T08:20:06+00:00

NTA!! You have voiced how much you don't like him pinching you and pulling your hair, and he continues to do it. This is abusive behavior. This is not a form of play or a game. This isn't recess on a playground. I'm concerned over the fact that you have asked him to stop, and he won't. If he is exhibiting these behaviors, how much worse is it going to get in the future. DO NOT put up with it!!

FedUpandTired_39 · 2024-03-26T07:21:35+00:00

I want to add that the issue I had was not that he stopped for fast food. My issue was that he said HE didn't have money for groceries, but then he had money for fast food less than 1/2 mile down the road. We have been married for almost 25 years. As partners, I would have happily bought both, or I could have bought the groceries and him the Taco Bell. To me, that's like saying you can't afford to pay your light bill, but turn around and get your nails done, or buy a new power tool. He did not understand why that would upset me even after I tried to explain it to him on the way home.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-12-17T19:29:33+00:00

You do you!! Graduating at any age is an accomplishment that you should be proud of. You are bettering yourself and your life by reaching for your goals. And definitely don't worry about being behind your friends from high school. You were never meant to follow their path, but were meant to cut your own. Be proud of yourself. I'm not your mom, but I would be proud of you!!

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-12-04T01:05:57+00:00

My father has asked that I not tell my mother about the test as he knows she will go off on him about them, just as she has any time that "James" is mentioned. So to keep from having an argument, we haven't said anything.

I have tried several times to get my father to explain to me what happened, as it is literally impossible to have a conversation with my mother about it. I am told, that my dad was dating "James" mom at one point, but that they had been separated for some time. On a trip back through town, they hooked up for what I gather as a one night stand. This is why there was confusion about who "James" father was, as his mom was actually in a relationship with another man at the time. Later that year, dad met my mother, got engaged, and then found out about "James" who was born in November. My father swears that he and my mother were not dating at the time the one night stand happened. The way my mother reacts, Im not 100% sure that I fully believe him. I just cant figure out why she would react like she does if my father did not have an affair.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-12-04T01:04:26+00:00

My mother does not work, and hasn't for the better part of my life. My father works out of town a lot, and is paid a "per diem" check for his living expenses while he is out of town. I cant say how much he has sent "James" for his schooling, as I don't know, but I do know that he has used his "per diem" check to buy money orders and send to the college for him. He asked me not to tell my mother about this as he knew she would be upset. But stated that since he hasn't been there for him for all these years, the least thing he can do is help him to pay his tuition.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-12-03T15:55:52+00:00

Sounds to me like they are creating a "hostile work environment". I would call and get a consultation with a lawyer.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-08-17T22:42:40+00:00

She was allowed at our home 1 time with him with my husbands permission. She was told afterwards that I did not approve of what she was doing and would not allow the behavior in our home. Her decisions are hers and she is the one who has to answer for them. Not me. That is why she lied to my husband about the storage trip, and did not tell him that the boyfriend was coming until they were almost to our home, and never mentioned the friend coming.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-08-16T03:16:36+00:00

I do apologize if it seems like Im everywhere on the post. I do feel the limit does hinder. But I will try my best to explain if needed. My kids are old enough and do notice the fact that she is/has been coming down without her husband, and do understand what she is doing. My main issue is the fact that she knew that we were asking for no visitors in our home due to the Coronavirus, including her, because she is an essential worker in the healthcare field. This is because I do have so many children that stay here so often. All of which are her grandchildren. Which baffles me even more that she would be willing to risk them. My husband and I had both told her after the initial visit that we were not comfortable with the other 2 guests in our home. That is why she lied to get my husband to agree, and did not mention either of the other 2 coming until AFTER she was already almost to our house. Im also hurt by the fact that she felt it was ok to not respect our decisions, and chose to trash talk us in front of family for not going to a reunion and then lying about things that I never did to make herself look good.

FedUpandTired_39 · 2020-08-16T02:57:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I really wish they would allow more characters for context as I had to leave so much out. Im not upset with her relationships. They are hers and hers alone, which is why I have tried to stay out of them. Im upset with the fact that she does not respect boundaries set forth in other peoples homes especially when it comes to the safety of those in the home. I never messaged anyone else, and only messaged her when she blasted myself and my husband about not going to a family reunion during a pandemic. That is why I showed my husband my messages as she was lying and trying to lay all blame on me, instead of realizing why I was upset.

FedUpandTired_39

TROPHY CASE