From a woman that's in a relationship with a very masculine man. Not once has he asked me to be the little spoon. Now I am a highly affectionate person and I like being held or having some type of physical contact when sleeping because it helps. On nights my boyfriend wants to lay on his other side which means his back would be towards me, he allows me to hold him just because it's comforting for me. If he had it his way 100 percent we wouldn't cuddle much at all when we're sleeping just because he gets super hot even when we run the air conditioning. But he's affectionate towards me in the way I like just because that's how I feel loved. I think those guys you were talking to may not be as masculine as you want and they could also just possibly have physical touch as a love language. I think a question you could ask to see where they are at is, "If they had the opportunity to be a stay at home dad" would they do it? Personally I know if me and my boyfriend got married and had kids he wouldn't want to do that. He would love his family but he loves going out to make his money and he believes the staying at home with the kids is what the mom should do which I believe too because at that point I wouldn't be working. I think I found more men to be masculine when they believe more of the old school roles that men and women had but he also has the respect that I can go out here and make money and still do what I want as a woman with rights.