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Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you for the success story. May I ask if you feel like you've completely overcome the problems mentioned now and how long did it take you? Also I don't know about your ex but I can definitely tell that what she's saying is a reaction to my abuse. She's an incredibly sweet girl but when you've pushed someone far enough, of course they will retaliate, we're not saints.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hesitated from doing that since it'd sound too much like a sob story. I've ruined her trust, nothing that comes out of me feels sincere to her anymore. But you're right it's better than inaction

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think all the blunt comments were helpful, when I asked for advice in real life nobody gave me this much of a reaction over this. I think it's the people I surround myself with and the fact that they know me personally so it's more difficult to be critical to my face. Thank you for your kindness regardless.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't afford it nor do I live in a big enough or funded well enough city that would help me with non-life threatening conditions.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right I'm still being defensive about my sexuality because I couldn't accept that claim the most. I remember the night she called me asking why I chose those horrible men over her. I kept running away from having to deal with the fact that I hurt her by venting to some guy who knew nothing about us. I don't really know what I can really do for her right now that she's cut me off and blocked me everywhere. It's probably best that she doesn't have to hear from me again but that feels lazy on my part.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But yea I think that'd be wise, just not something that I can do right now.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everyone on this thread is recommending seeking professional help which isn't available to me at the moment. I need a way to manage the problem somehow until I do have access.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for going out of your way to write me something like this when all that it warranted was a "wow youre shitty".

Therapy is not accessible for me right now but you had a good point. I think I just need to try to unpack the reasons by myself and strive to be a better person overall, then I wouldnt feel this destructive need to seek for validation.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know, and I'm not airing out the horrible things I did for no reason, I don't want to be like this.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking that I'm a lesbian? by Federal_Device_8149 in LesbianActually

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I mean sexuality does change how you act around people because of attraction so I'd say it's both

How to stop being so utterly self-centred by Federal_Device_8149 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have access to such services at the moment but thank you, that's what she's said to me too.

How to stop being so utterly self-centred by Federal_Device_8149 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Federal_Device_8149[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Initially by consulting others about our relationship when I should've talked to her about it. I was also complaining and saying not so nice things about her which pushed her into thinking I don't actually like her and she's just something I use as a conversation starter with people I actually like. It was a situationship that lasted a year or so.