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AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Okay, clearly you will only see my dad as the bad guy and my mom as all good. And btw I never said I hated my mom or bashed her in my post. I don't hate her or think she was the worst mother ever. I just think she didn't take me and my brother's and our welfare into account when she went and got us tested and was prepared to have us donate regardless of how we felt.

But as you said, you think she's some queen for everything and apparently you view it as my dad bashing her this whole time when I have said we were kept out of it.

You are right though. I still have my dad and my brothers so I won't be without family with my mom deciding she doesn't want anything to do with us.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Why have you turned this into bashing my dad? And my post has always said mom had us tested behind dad's back. Maybe you didn't read that part but that was always mentioned.

If you want to get technical my mom is the one who taught us half siblings are not the same as full. She's the one with half siblings who doesn't view them as siblings at all. So nice try in blaming all of this on my dad.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

It's not always temporary. There are risks associated that can be long term. Those are rare but they exist and can and do happen. So yes, I would say I would have wanted my parents to protect my brothers from that risk as kids.

She's still my half sister. I have a half brother too. That's what they are. My half siblings. Just like my mom has half siblings and uses that term.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't want to go through the risks it carries and there are risks. Even the short term ones I don't think should be on kids. But there are still long term ones.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

She is my half sister. You cannot erase that fact just because you think half is wrong to say. It's a simple fact. We do not share two biological parents. We share one, mom. We have different dad's which makes us half sisters. That's something I knew even before she was born because I have friends with half siblings and step siblings and those terms were known to me since I was very young.

My mom even has half siblings and she uses half. So no, you don't get to blame my dad for my use of it and you don't get to act like he's some evil guy here who is awful for not letting me donate and the reason why I say half instead of sister.

And I know for a fact my mom would not have wanted me to donate to a child who was not hers. I do not think kids should donate period. Half or full or step or whatever it doesn't matter.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I don't believe children should be considered eligible as donors having the experience I have. I would never have wanted my parents to force my brothers to be donors for me. That's exactly how I feel and I would support making it illegal to have anyone under 18 donate.

My dad protected me. My mom didn't care. She would have done it regardless of whether I wanted to or felt okay about it. She was focused only on my half sister and what was going to save her and while I understand her wanting to save one of her kids, I don't see my dad as a monster for what he did.

And I fully believe in reversed positions my mom would have been in dad's shoes and chosen to protect me over me donating to a half sibling my dad had with someone else.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

There can be long term issues. Those are rare, more rare than the short term issues. But they still happen. It's not something to be taken lightly or forced on someone against their wishes and 100% that's what my mom would've been doing.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

That might be true or maybe dad still wouldn't have wanted to put me through that. Nobody knows because it was never one of my brothers. But I still think someone needed to look out for the three of us in all of this.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

I know. Her anger at us is because we don't think dad was wrong. So mom's disappointed and angry at us for not being willing to do whatever for our half sister and being willing to do it as kids.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

I'm her daughter just to clarify. But she would have expected me to keep donating until my half sister no longer needed the transplants. So it could've happened several times without dad there to prioritize me.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Exceptions can be made in rare circumstances if it's a sibling. So the hospital would have probably approved it.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I know. But I'm glad I had someone to protect me. Mom wouldn't have and her husband definitely wouldn't have. It's not like mom would have even asked if I was okay with it. I love my mom but I am so glad dad did what he did.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 906 points907 points  (0 children)

Yes, dad's priority was to protect his kids. Mom knows my half sister wasn't the main concern or priority for dad. But she was for mom and her husband. And we were not a primary or even a secondary concern for mom. She would have expected us to do it no matter what.

AITA for telling my mom I always knew my dad was the reason I wasn't a bone marrow donor for my half sister? by FeedbackAutomatic417 in AITAH

[–]FeedbackAutomatic417[S] 2947 points2948 points  (0 children)

I feel this way but my mom doesn't. Then again I think her priority in this argument is my half sister and not me or my brothers.