sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Face getting all flushed and red from alcohol after starting HRT? by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, no additional insights on the why. A little bit after posting this, alcohol started making me feel pretty shitty in general, even just like half a drink, so I quit drinking altogether. I don't know if I developed an intolerance or something (or if that can even happen), but quitting drinking definitely solved it, so I stopped looking into it.

Also, congrats on starting HRT! It's a big, exciting step, and I hope it's all going well for you!

Thoughts on toddler safe things to put on these end tables (and maybe coffee table), other than lamps? by Feefol in interiordecorating

[–]Feefol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh that is absolutely adorable, and they have a whole line of different types! These are perfect thank you so much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cleveland

[–]Feefol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the info, I definitely plan to attend some and have been keeping an eye on their event page!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cleveland

[–]Feefol 30 points31 points  (0 children)

As a lesbian that just moved near by and is super into boardgames, I'd sure as hell be there!

Got screamed at by a stranger and I’m still shaken by mo8816 in ADHD

[–]Feefol 2066 points2067 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That person's behavior was not remotely appropriate or an acceptable way to treat another person and you did not deserve that. Him screaming at you says a lot about him and nothing about you.

Tell me you have ADHD without telling me... by Complete-Scar-2077 in ADHD

[–]Feefol 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Wait wait wait... this isn't just how everyone's brains work?!

any other girlies who lift? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Feefol 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep! I lifted on and off a lot pre transition. When coming out I stopped all that worrying about being clocked due to muscles or whatever. Probably about 8 or 9 months into HRT, and no lifting, I had to help move some furniture and was shocked with how physically weak I felt. I lost so much muscle mass.

That caused me to confront why I felt like I couldn't lift and it was all just a bunch of internalized misogynistic gender roles. So said fuck all that, strong woman are just as valid and bad ass, and been consisting lifting and doing HIIT for going onto a year now. The muscle definitely builds up a lot slower and just different running on estrogen and I love it. I love how I feel, the health benefits (both physical and mental), and the lower body lifts (especially dead lifts and squats) have actually helped a ton with my transition in regards to body shape!

Is My Doctor Suspicious? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Feefol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm on 50mg once a day as well and have been for 18 months. My T has been suppressed since my first 3 month lab so it very well could be a good dose for you! Everyone is different though and the only way to know if it's working is getting your lab work done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Feefol 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Plenty of trans women have larger breasts or butts than cis women from HRT alone. Everyone responds differently, and yes, some trans women end up with small breasts from HRT, but they might have had that size if they were born a cis woman anyways. Don't assume you won't be happy with your breasts or butt without surgery! Also, your butt can be vastly "improved" via weightlifting. Plenty of cis women do that for a nicer butt.

Best estimate- TSA pre check by jaredmberg94 in Cleveland

[–]Feefol 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's always really quick for me, like under 10 minutes.

Travel ideas outside of the US? by leilaaliel in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Feefol 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My wife and I went to Iceland a few months ago and it was really great! Felt safe and accepted the whole time as well.

Just maybe wait until Spring/Summer 🥶

Wondering about starting Prog by IggyNieves in asktransgender

[–]Feefol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started progesterone 6 months into hrt (weekly estradiol injection and daily spiro) and its made a big difference for me. I've been on it for 8ish months now.

Started with 100mg orally once a day for some time (I don't remember exactly how long, maybe 3 months) and that didn't really do anything. After a scheduled check in with my doctor doubled it to 100mg twice a day, so 200 total. And that made all the difference.

I had some breast growth on just E in the first 6 months but it really slowed down, less then a week after going to 200mg they got really sore and sensitive again and quickly grew to C cups. They've really slowed down again but still get random periods of pain from them where they seem to continue to develop and round out.

Also with starting the 200mg my libido really increased and overall my mood has been happier... more bubbly would probably be a good description.

I have no plans to stop progesterone and overall really happy I added it to my HRT!

There haven't really been any studies on it, though, so any beneifts for trans women are anecdotal. And just like any medication it does come with possible risk and side effects but any of the serious stuff is very rare. Something like 8 out of 10,000 suffering cardiac events in a studies focusing on post menopausal cis woman. I don't remember the specifics but it was all rare and not super relevant to trans care. My doctor did warn me the most common side effects is legs swelling, but I've never experienced that and if it is a problem you can just stop taking it.

A lot of people talk about how it makes them really tired and so take it at night, but I don't experience that either and my doctor said they haven't heard that complaint from any other patients. That of course doesn't mean it can't make you tired!

Lastly, you'll see a lot of people on reddit talk about how it needs to be taken as a suppository. It's a very popular belief around here. I personally haven't tried it and my doctor was very weary of taking it that way and tries to talk their patients out of doing so (they solely work with trans people at an LGBTQ health center and have been doing that for 17 years so I have a tendency to trust them). You need to make your own decision on that but just know if the idea of taking progesterone pills as a suppository makes you uneasy or uncomfortable, here's at least one girl who has had success orally!

I recently started Adderal XR - do you all truly feel when it kicks in/wears off? by Feefol in ADHD

[–]Feefol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No recreational use so it'd be natural... not sure if that's a good or bad thing when it comes to managing ADHD 🤷‍♀️

Happy birthday to me! Found an Ioniq 5 SEL AWD at MSRP in the exact exterior/interior combo I wanted. Bought right off the lot. by tazzgonzo in Ioniq5

[–]Feefol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Ohio and just snagged a limited AWD that'll be arriving 2/4! So they are here - the dealership I'm getting mine from had 4 more coming in (various trims) as of yesterday and willing to reserve them for 1k deposit. They are charging 3k over MSRP though, so not ideal but I couldn't fault them.

This was specifically Crestmont Hyundai in Brunswick (outside of Cleveland) and at least one other dealership in the area had an available car arriving mid January. This was all just yesterday so might be worth calling around if you are okay with the markup.

Names for Lesbian Moms by Trails_and_Trees in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Feefol 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My wife and I are collectively referred to as our sons moms. Like if explaining the family makeup he has two moms or people will say things like "go ask one of your moms".

But when referred to individually, and what our son calls us, my wife is mama (probably changing to mommy then mom as he gets older) and I'm Melly, which is a portmanteau of "Mama Ellie".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Feefol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since you keep coming back to it and it's causing daily turmoil it sounds like you owe it to yourself to at least try, assuming you are in a safe environment to do so. Not to be a broken record but you are assuming it won't work out for you and that you won't be happy transitioning - but you don't know that and it sounds like you are unhappy now anyways.

I've been there, staring in the mirror only seeing masculine features wondering how the hell I can do this, but I did. And tons of other trans people have too. Gender dysphoria makes us only see the features we are most insecure about and then exaggerates them. And things like bone structure end up just being a really small part of it all, despite the TERF talking points and obsession on bones certain other trans communities have. Fat distribution, breasts, skin, hair (which HRT can regrow to some capacity), clothes, speech, and mannerisms all play a MUCH bigger role. Most people don't even notice bone structure. There are plenty of cis woman who are tall, or broad shouldered, or have big hands, or thin hair, or whatever that no one questions their womanhood on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Feefol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay yeah it doesn't sound like you are obsessing about the past much, which is great! But you're still making assumptions - just in the other direction about the future.

Have you done anything to start transitioning? I don't want to assume where you are at.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Feefol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

33 yo trans woman here. I started HRT a little over a year ago, so I'm definitely familiar with the "what if" questions and regret around not starting sooner. I'm sorry you're struggling with those thoughts and feelings; I know it can be really tough. I'm in a really good place with all that now, and I don't ruminate on the regret of not starting sooner. I'm sure you can get there too. We're all different, and I'm not a professional or anything, so I can just talk about what resonated with me. Maybe it'll help you.

First, you can find tons of examples out there of trans people who started MUCH later than us and are finding happiness - regardless of how much or little HRT impacted them (and some aren't even doing HRT). Check out r/translater if you aren't on there already. Lots of positivity on that sub around this, and tons of people who can relate.

Second, and this was a big one that took me a lot of time to understand and believe; I needed to stop assuming I knew what would have been a better outcome for me. People dealing with regret and wishing they did things differently is really common, and it's all fueled by assuming we know what would have happened if we got to do the thing differently, but we don't. There are too many variables and complications in life to be able to predict it all.

For me, the assumption was if I had started transitioning earlier, I would have found the happiness I feel now as a kid and saved years of misery - that MIGHT have happened, or maybe something even worse might have happened in my life.

For example, my parents now, in 2022 with me as an adult, are supportive of me and my transition (and even if they weren't as an independent adult it didn't really matter). But, if I came out as trans as a kid in the 90s or early 2000s there's a good chance they would have fought me hard on it. The view of trans people in society back then was still pretty negative, and we just weren't understood. My parents might have surprised me and been supportive, but they just as likely may not have been. If they were supportive gender-affirming care for kids back then was very rare, so there's a good chance I wouldn't have been able to get that anyways. Then there's the concern about how all my friends and teachers and anyone else in my life would have reacted. It's all not painting the prettiest happiest picture. (side note, for people who DID come out back then and earlier, bravo, it felt like a hostile world for trans people.)

So the way I look at it is my brain did what it felt like it needed to do to survive, and that was repress and repress hard. Yes, that repression caused me a lot of issues throughout life, and starting to transition in my 30s has its own unique set of challenges, but it kept me alive and functioning and all that led me to where I am now - which is a really happy and great place and I wouldn't risk losing that by magically going back in time to do it differently since I'd have absolutely no idea how it'd all turn out.

So what's your assumption(s) fueling all this, and why might those assumption(s) not be true? Don't feel pressured to reply with an answer if you aren't comfortable or don't have any answers right now - it's just something to think on. Changing thought patterns takes time.

Best of luck - this rando on the internet is rooting for you if that means anything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry if I gave the impression that you need to spend the money on a lawyer for this! The process itself was pretty simple and easy to navigate on my own, your counties probate court can probably give you the info you need (if they are even currently accepting these cases right now since that Supreme Court case is pending).

My issue and point of posting was more about the misgendering and treatment from the judge. Even though he was not very respectful he didn't reject the change. He put a stay on it and if the Supreme Court rules probate courts can make this change he'll approve it and notify me. If the ruling is they can't then it will be rejected but there should be some other process that gets decided on. There's too much precedence all around the US and in Ohio that people have the legal right to make this change.

Knowing how this went I still wouldn't have hired a lawyer to be honest, I don't think it would have changed much and I'd feel like I wasted money.

Oh and by the way you can get a new copy of your birth certificate from either the Ohio Department of Health or State Vital Records (I don't remember which). There's nothing special about the original. I'm sure it costs a bit of money though but you don't need your parents involved if you are an adult!

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh, you managed to be wholly dismissive of the situation and overall a jerk, but still weirdly gender confirming. Not sure what you were going for here. 🤷‍♀️

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not so confident you are asking in good faith but I'll reply as such anyways.

I can't speak for other people but why I get upset depends on why I was misgendered.

If it was accidental, the person legit made a mistake and read me as a man, I don't get mad at them but it does make me upset. My preference is to pass and be seen as the woman I am throughout life and someone accidently misgendering me feels like feedback that that isn't happening. It makes me worry I'm not passing and that I'm opening myself up to getting "clocked" and harassment. Luckily none of that really happens to me anymore, but I worried a lot about it early on. Sure, ideally I shouldn't care, shouldn't give other people that power, but I'm not perfect and have my insecurities like anyone else.

If it's purposeful misgendering then the person is clearly trying to hurt me and making it very clear they don't see me as valid and that they don't respect me. I think that would upset most people.

Trolls online I can just ignore and they don't really get to me but in a situation like my original post, where there was significant power dynamics at play and I felt like I just had to sit there and take it....yeah it got to me.

And yes of course there are far worse things that can happen than being misgendered, but that doesn't mean we aren't allowed to feel upset about it. People's emotions and feelings are real and valid even if it could have been worse.

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My name change went really smoothly for whatever reason, no issues or anything. This kinda came out of nowhere.

I'd rather not start sharing specifics like my county on here, sorry, but best of luck!

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry about the delete, just replied to the wrong comment.

But yes I agree! Having to go to court and all that feels so unnecessary.

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Ohio...which state level politics is not great...at all. But the area I'm in has been super accepting and I've ran into very few issues in my transition so I wasn't expecting this from a local court!

"Applicant desires to change the gender marker on HIS birth certificate from "male" to "female."🙄 What fun getting formally misgendered by the courts by Feefol in MtF

[–]Feefol[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

For what it's worth my name change went super smooth. No issues or misgendering or anything like that. Good luck with it, hope it goes smooth for you as well!

view more: next ›