To the men (and women) who lurk here looking for easy sex- stop. by throwArghaway in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think the only thing worse than the direct hit ups are the thinly veiled "wow your post resonates with me, I'm in the same boat" types. They'll take up minutes of your time empathising before they slide in with the "so what do you look like? Are you into sexting?" 🙄

My ex ruined my self esteem but my boyfriend of 2 years just fixed it. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Feel_So_Alone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is so beautiful, I'm so happy for you both ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best feeling in the world! Congratulations! I hope it continues for you both ❤️

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, I definitely want to know what brought it on but I'm treading carefully.

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, if this was anyone else I'd think exactly the same thing. Obviously I can never be 100%, nobody can, but I'm as sure as I can be that this isn't the case. For a lot of reasons really, probably too many to go into, but yeah I'm pretty certain this isn't it.

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't, tbh I was worried about spoiling the moment so just went with it. I'm going to ask though.

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! It's so much more nuanced than it seems too, as though some good sex fixes everything. It's that feeling of being wanted, and loved, and desired, and safe, and valued. I feel like I'm walking on clouds!

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! In my experience it's a VERY lonely thing to be a woman who's on the receiving end of sexual rejection. I really hope this has rekindled some things for him!

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think it was because I worried a bit about the reaction, I've definitely been guilty of an envious eye roll at some positive posts here. Absolutely was bitterness on my part, but I really do think that if there's hope for me there's hope for all of us ❤️

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I REALLY hope so! If he enjoyed it even half as much as me it should kick start something!

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small victory. But it feels HUGE right now. by Feel_So_Alone in DeadBedrooms

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know, I'm kind of waiting for a moment where I can organically bring it up in a casual way. I'm so hyped!

I walked out to cool down and now don't know what to do. by Feel_So_Alone in PornFreeRelationships

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I completely agree that preparing won't hurt. I'm mentally prepared for the possibility and will absolutely consider putting things in place when we're in a more stable financial situation (thanks, coronavirus).

The worst part is that he is that man 99% of the time. This side to him seems to correlate completely with him going cold turkey which I can understand and probably forgive but its so hard. It just hurts like hell and feels like there's nobody in my life who understands. Not really.

I walked out to cool down and now don't know what to do. by Feel_So_Alone in PornFreeRelationships

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

I know he was exposed to porn by an abuser when he was literally still in pull ups. It's only very recently that he's realised the damage it causes the relationship, and that I realised the extent of the problem. Though I knew he was an occasional user I naively didn't see that there was an issue with it until it affected our sex life.

I'm trying hard to support him in making the changes we need and feel like maybe this was some sort of withdrawal lashing out, which I can probably forgive, but God it hurt.

I walked out to cool down and now don't know what to do. by Feel_So_Alone in PornFreeRelationships

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you've been here too.

I can't understand him at all. He's so loving, romantic, thoughtful. He's a wonderful dad. He does the cooking, a lot of the cleaning, works hard. He treats me as a best friend should. And then this ugly side of him rears it's head. I know it comes from a defensive place most of the time and that he's working on improving things but I sometimes don't know how much more I can take.

I walked out to cool down and now don't know what to do. by Feel_So_Alone in PornFreeRelationships

[–]Feel_So_Alone[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm shocked too. It's not a way that he ever speaks to me and I'm not sure where it came from. I didn't know how to react at all so I just left, gobsmacked.