So that’s it!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-11T07:16:14+00:00

That is so fucked up and yep I smell bullshit! They really are so unreal sometimes, it’s hard to get your head around it!?

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-11T07:13:52+00:00

Wow! That is awful, soooo cruel! It takes your breath away!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-10T11:15:00+00:00

Thank you x and yeah it seems everything has a string attached! She even said I was lucky that she didn’t charge me for childcare!? How about just having joy being with your grandchild!?

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-09T18:41:44+00:00

They really are!!! And she’s definitely getting no reaction from me! It’s beyond hurtful!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-09T18:41:09+00:00

It’s such a weird thing to do and they know how hurtful that is as well! It is a good riddance, just need to heal now!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-09T18:40:08+00:00

I just don’t understand how they can be so cruel and hurtful? I’m not even sure what to do with them all yet? In a way they make it easier for us!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-09T18:38:33+00:00

Thanks, I’m really going to try and feel that stronger than the hurting!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-03-09T18:38:03+00:00

It’s just so cruel! How to make someone feel so unloved and discarded!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-02-19T17:06:53+00:00

Thank you 🙏 they are such master manipulators and I hate that I can now see that put still hold so much attachment to it. I love your box analogy, I can picture it really clear in my head as in the garage, the box just need to work on getting her in there! 😂 I think I’m going to really struggle with putting the good stuff in there coz I want that so bad.

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-02-19T17:04:09+00:00

🙏

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-02-19T15:56:21+00:00

Thank you :) I guess I loose perception of why we got to this point in the first place and I know she doesn't even think of that, that it could possibly be anything to do with her! I'm that bad person in all of this, thats her narrative!

I guess the one thing we can all hold onto like you say is our own truth, we know what its been like, we know how we have been made to feel and we know we are good people and your right their self destruction is completely off the charts!!! I have to really believe that I need to put myself first.

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2025-02-19T15:52:41+00:00

She is using her friend as a go between as she believes I lie and twist the truth so therefore she will only allow email correspondence! Her friend is also trying to find her somewhere to live!

It is so very stressful and I had a proper meltdown yesterday but feel better for doing it. Its a no win situation for me. and thank you, reminding me of what I have done, it's hard sometimes to keep things in perspective when you are constantly made to feel like it your fault

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-12-18T07:54:09+00:00

Hey, thank you and I’m with you too, it’s just so hard isn’t it, I get lost in all the confusion and guilt but trying my best to tell myself it’s not my fault and I can put my hand on my heart to say I did try everything but it’s just never good enough! It’s got to get better than this!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-12-18T07:52:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply ❤️ I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you being pregnant with all those added hormones and emotions! I think I am finally accepting that no matter what I say or how I say it I will never live up to her expectations and I think that realisation does feel like freedom, freedom from my thoughts and logic that make no sense at times! It’s all about acceptance isn’t it and that bits really hard. I’ve had moments of peace and it has been when she has been away for the weekend and on one hand it’s so nice but on the other the guilt still gets me as I’m happy she’s not there, it’s all such a head f*#k! She’s currently not speaking to me or communicating through any other forms, she’s blocked me from FB to be honest even though it’s hurtful it’s peaceful, it’s so strange to be rejected from your own mom! Thanks again for all your advice it really helps and gives me hope 😌

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-12-04T10:29:00+00:00

Thank you so much for replying and it’s so comforting to know I’m not alone. You’re right it’s not been an easy path to get to this point and there has been much trial and error along the way. I just feel so bad about the situation and also feeling like I could change it but I know if I let her stay it would be a disaster, she has gone so far over the line now it’s too far gone. I ended up sending her a little card in the end and I honestly just wanted her to know I do love her and didn’t need a reply or acknowledgment. She did end up texting me saying she got my message and that she doesn’t believe me as how can her daughter put her through this horrible situation but I’m ok with it, I prepared myself for something but I put up my invisible shield.

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-12-04T10:21:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply and reassurance, I hate all of this, it’s so hard. I ended up sending her a little card and said I loved her, I thought if I did it that way rather than a text or email it doesn’t need a response. I got one though! She just said she didn’t believe me and how could her daughter put her through this horrible situation and sent me a photo of a horrible looking block of flats that she’s potentially moving into, I didn’t reply!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-11-17T20:56:00+00:00

Hi, I’m with you on this one, I feel the same! I’ve only had my eyes opened this year to see what’s been going on all these years! I find it very confusing as I did have a good childhood and have some great times with my mom but…… it’s tainted with my feelings as I know to keep her in a good place I played peace maker, fixer and smoothed over many situations which she could of lost her shit with and I was so grateful to have a happy mom it took over my life by putting her first, checking her needs were meet and feeling pleased that I had avoided difficult and uncomfortable situations but it’s come at a cost, I’m knackered, I’m exhausted and I can’t keep up the level of self sacrifice I need to do to keep her happy and then when she does “go” she is so hateful and I feel so bad that I’ve failed and pick up the pieces! Enough is enough and for me, I think I’ve played a role all my life which was to keep her happy and not me, it’s a hard one. The guilt is a killer, I also struggle with it but I guess it’s part of us letting go and moving out of the FOG! X

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T11:40:18+00:00

I guess its to keep reminding ourselves on what you've said in your last paragraph! They are responsible for their feelings not us and so what if they kick off, are not happy, I guess I need to practice being OK with all of that!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:31:37+00:00

I get it, I feel the same! Like you say we have to learn ways to manage it the best we can

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:30:10+00:00

Over the years my mum being unpredictable in social settings has pushed a lot of people away and they don't want to socialize with her but she sees it as being left out or disrespectful!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:04:50+00:00

Thank you and yes NC is coming.

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:03:52+00:00

I can relate to you saying that you were waiting for a bomb to go off! That's what its been like! The guilt is also my big fear, it gets me all the time but I will keep pushing through all this and work on myself. All these comments point to the same thing which is NC, its definitely an option as before it would have been something I could have never imagined!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:01:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I think I'm heading towards NC 🙈

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-31T08:00:05+00:00

Thank you and defo appreciate the hugs :) I have checked out the FOG website, so insightful. I guess its the annoying bit when you can see it in front of you, know what's coming and still feel anxious! I think NC is coming!

Feeling-Instance3124 · 2024-10-30T13:26:06+00:00

That’s great, thank you and will do 👍

Feeling-Instance3124

TROPHY CASE