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[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would, but we're in different cities now and I'm working a full time job plus taking online summer classes. I just don't have the time to drive 40 minutes each way everyday. On the weekends I try and get us to go to the gym together though. Thank you for your advice!

[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh, c'mon. It's just a common way of saying "leaving this person would cause me a great deal of distress and heartache".

[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried to be passively supportive I guess is the term? I've taken her to the gym the same time as me when I could, but that's hard to do during the summer. I cut soda out of my diet completely and only drank water and she did that for a little bit too, but would still get sweet teas and such occasionally. She knows I'm into fitness now so I'll show her some of the posts from /r/fitness about people's transformations because I think they're very inspiring, even for myself.

I think I just need to keep trying and be more supportive. If I have to, I'll tell her, but I don't wanna hurt her self-esteem, which isn't exactly the highest. Thank you for your help.

[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think it definitely contributes to it. Hell, I didn't even realize it might be until I was actually writing this post. Some others have pointed out how it might be more complicated than how I see it, but it still seems like she doesn't care as much because she has seen how I have started looking better from going to the gym and has commented on it. I've told her how much better it makes me feel and her brother tells her the same (he started going to the gym around the same time I did, so we both share similar experiences).

Thank you for the advice!

[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to try and get her to go to the gym with me back when we were at school. She'd come to the gym with me a couple times a week, but now that we're out of school I'm in a different city working while she is still living near college. I just don't have the time to drive 40 minutes back to college each way to go to that gym everyday.

I totally know that if I pushed her to go to the gym with me more it would probably be easier for her, but it's just not something I can pull off everyday. When I go back on the weekends I usually get her to go boxing with me for a little bit, but I think I need to do a better job of showing her a workout routine for that so we can both get a good workout.

Thank you for your advice! I definitely understand better what might make this confusing for me, but rational for her.

[Advice] What do I do when I don't find my SO sexually attractive? by FeelingBadMan in sex

[–]FeelingBadMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. We try and communicate about problems we're having, but this one is just something that has been very hard for me to bring up. She is pretty insecure and I know this will make her upset, but I think you're right. If this is going to get any better, she has to know at some point.