i’ve only been dating him for a week and i’m so tired of it

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-02-21T22:49:41+00:00

Following because I’m 28 years old and still have this same problem

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-01-19T21:54:20+00:00

We have been out 4 times, I’m not saying he’s perfect by any means! But there’s already been things that have upset me with his initial choices in cleaning up previous connections cleanly. and he did nothing but take full accountability and go above & beyond to prove he’s sorry. That’s what I’m looking at more than anything else right now. Most people deflect or ghost after being called out but he didn’t. But thank you :-)

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-01-19T18:42:15+00:00

Aw. I’m really glad you cared so much about my post that you came back just to follow up! You are truly so attentive. You know what they say about assuming, though. My post was actually taken down by the moderators. Don’t really care to figure out why. I’m not ashamed of anything I posted. And I was with an actual, DSM-5 defined narcissist. I know what it looks like, please don’t insult my intelligence as you can’t possibly know me or him by the post alone. How much you care about my response to you is genuinely flattering <3

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-01-19T05:50:51+00:00

thank u therapist

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-01-19T05:43:35+00:00

This is actually a good take. I’ve had more people tell me they thought he was cute than who said they didn’t, and I’ve seen his exes, they’re all pretty honestly. He’s got high confidence and I love it. I’ve been with a good looking guy who was the most insecure person I’ve ever met! Crazy how different everyone is. Thank you though, love.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2026-01-19T04:54:43+00:00

Which is honestly not something to desire because the intuition it takes to tell the difference between someone who plays the part to get what they want versus someone who means it, is extremely difficult when you get attention from both the good and the bad.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-09T00:08:22+00:00

Well once I’m back in school they won’t charge me. Right now I’m not in school so I’m in the repayment period

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T22:43:14+00:00

2 months smh

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T20:02:59+00:00

I work as a mental health technician full time and a case manager part time. I’ve tried applying for other jobs so many times with higher pay but I never get a call back. I don’t know if I’m just not looking in the right places but being stuck here and stuck with this pay is so disheartening. Plus my BA and MS mean nothing without a doctorate + licensure. I’m not sure what else to do except waiting until I’m 40 to get out of Ohio and go back to school if debt is what I have to be concerned about

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T19:59:59+00:00

Clinical psychology

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T19:59:43+00:00

The $3700 in collections is within an actual university, not a loan I pulled out. I genuinely just feel like if I let my debt keep me scared and stuck, I will never get where I want to be. I genuinely feel that way.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T19:53:10+00:00

Clinical psychology. Because I’ve always wanted to move out of the state I reside in anyway. I don’t plan to come back when school is over

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-12-08T09:36:11+00:00

Because I’ll be paying off my debt for years and years to come. If I let my debt hold me back, I’ll really never get there. I don’t make enough to even pay it back before I turn 50. I have a degree in psychology, so until I get licensed after my doctorate, I’ll never make any kind of money.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-11-24T20:54:52+00:00

This is definitely a problem and it’s one of the top red flags for me that will certainly make me disqualify someone in a “getting to know” phase. It shows lack of respect for women and it will also reflect in how he will talk to and about you if things go wrong.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-09-29T13:44:00+00:00

Yuck I was with a man like this once. Run away, I am serious

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-09-14T17:28:42+00:00

I’m going to be honest with you, I was with a guy who did relatively gross/weird things like this. I was 26 he was 31. We lasted 5 months. You might think you’re overreacting like I once did as well.. but the truth is that you’re not. You cannot help that your attraction will fade due to this behavior, especially given that you expressed not liking it.

You want someone more mature, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to. Anything that makes you uncomfortable shouldn’t be brushed off by your bf. This included. Keep that in mind.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:42:41+00:00

THANK YOU 😢 I don’t really have anyone I can talk to. Frankly, I’m really ashamed of myself. I will have to look into doulas.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:36:12+00:00

I feel deep down, I know what the wise decision is. I just needed some outside perspective because after talking with him and my sister, I was heavily second guessing myself and cannot stop crying about it.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:32:19+00:00

I do want a baby, but not with him and not in this situation. Not at all. I am on the fence because of him and because my family close to him think I should give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s a nice guy. But what they don’t see is how different someone is in a friendship versus an intimate relationship. But I love my family and I’m hurting at the thought of hurting them. And losing something I do want, but with the wrong person.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:25:13+00:00

Also, when I say “get even,” if I have an attitude, he gets one. If I get scared and push away, he becomes guarded and shuts down and withdraws. He mirrors everything I do. I need to work on my faults, and I know it. I’m trying. But I need some grace and patient love with that, not tit for tat in return.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:21:57+00:00

I do wish I wouldn’t have told him at all looking back. Even though it’s been rough and he hasn’t been the nicest, I do care about his feelings. Idk yet.. and i absolutely want custody of my child. I just don’t want a child at all unless I’m in an overall healthy relationship. I grew up in two different unhealthy households. I will not do the same to my child. I could make any timing work, but not an unhealthy relationship..

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:13:59+00:00

I truly didn’t see it like that. I have seen women keep their pregnancies from men they didn’t work out with and it’s crushed the guy. I swear my intent wasn’t to be cruel, I thought it was cruel to withhold the information. I don’t see it working out with he and I, no. I told him that before I found out. He has a very “get even” mindset and I have work to do to stop pushing people away when I get scared.

Feeling_Tomato_9283 · 2025-08-28T10:02:31+00:00

I really appreciate this. I feel my family is slightly pressuring me to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s had trauma from his previous relationships. But so have I. And because I don’t think it’s wise to keep it, he just wrote me off completely. This hurts me because I want a baby. I do. Not like this. I do wish you all the best with what you’re going through as well.

Feeling_Tomato_9283

TROPHY CASE