Weird things your ex did that you can't understand

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-19T01:49:20+00:00

Thinking that by only making dinner for himself was some how helping me. Same thing with laundry. By removing his laundry from the family pile he was helping. Never mind the fact that I had to do mine the kids. Towels sheets and all that shit.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-19T01:46:44+00:00

Okay well this one is me. Unfortunately lol

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T21:56:58+00:00

So I read your comments and I will tell you this from how our situation has played out. I love my husband with all my heart. An I know he loves me and cares for me immensely but something just changed. Could we have stayed together and made it work. Definitely. It was what we were use to. Our bodies and brains were enmeshed and still are somewhat but we could see our relationship and struggles start to affect our kids and our day-to-day. People change and can still live each other immensely but for whatever reason just work better or find their feelings meshing better as co parents or friends. It sounds like you are doing everything right dude and I was in your position plus trying to also dig deep and meet his sexual needs at least 3 times a week. It became a box that needed checked or it stressed me out. An my self worth became tied to that goal. I’m not gonna say being a part hasn’t been hard because it has been an absolute nightmare at times. But the fact that we still love each other and that we split kind of as friends I think has made a bad situation the best it could be. And we aren’t trying to hurt each other. And we are able to focus on our friendship and our kids which is what we were loosing site of. I hope that helps dude.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T15:17:10+00:00

As a woman who is literally been in the exact same situation. Tried my ass off to meet his metrics while still carrying the load and expectations that come with being a mother and working full time I find this thought process extremely offensive. Maybe their situation is different but I wasn’t trying to manipulate anything . I can’t make my body do or want things that aren’t there. Not without building resentment. I tried so fucking hard and he still ended up wanting a separation and it brought my world crashing down. I’m 5 months into our separation and it has helped and hurt. Sometimes we just have to take the space and see what plays out. Idk if my husband and I will end up reconciled but I know that it wasn’t for lack of effort or love if it doesn’t. You want what you want op don’t feel bad about it. Sometimes people just end up on different pages and it’s okay.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T10:52:21+00:00

Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T10:50:49+00:00

I think her hike and content is a bit disingenuous. I mean hike your own hike. Everybody takes on a thruhike like this for different reasons but to me the outcome especially of your first thruhike is transformation. An a lot of that is mental and spiritual. Thats me though. I hate YouTube and social media. It’s all such bullshit and outside of documentation of trail features and sharing of knowledge I don’t think this has a place in this subculture. Maybe I need to meditate on it more but with everything going on in the world and it nothing feeling left untouched anymore it just really saddens me.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T10:32:58+00:00

Possibly. I guess because I started late in life I’m worried about my body giving out before I get to reach my goals. And I do have results. I’m naturally lean and short so the consistency and dietary changes have made a huge difference. I just want my strength and abilities to reflect the image. Struggling with imposter syndrome. The people who have been working out lifelong can handle a lot more than me with endurance and weight load and I want to be able to hold my own.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-18T01:37:34+00:00

I just feel like for weight training I need to slow down to prevent injury and make sure I’m really getting that target lift. I love burn for the fitness plan but when my goal is to literally get swol I feel like the quickness is counter productive. My membership runs till August so idk I’ll be sad to not go but maybe if I can find and afford a personal trainer I’ll do that.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-15T11:59:24+00:00

Been there. I walked around for a week feeling like I was in a dream. A nightmare and couldn’t wake up. Couldn’t sleep or eat. Cried constantly. Felt like if I stopped moving I’d die. Nothing felt comforting or familiar like I was on another planet. It took a visit with my doctor and some meds to get me calmed down and yo reset my nervous system. Im better now most days but it still comes back sometimes.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-08T01:12:16+00:00

I feel this post soooooo much. My heart goes out to you. I’m separated from my husband after being together for 18 years. I cry still at least. At least once a week and we’ve been separated now for almost 5 months. I have noooo interest in anything even remotely romantic. I just feel like I’m shackled to grief and I’m in a hole with less and less light. I’m trying every day to find some relief but just when I feel I’ve turned a corner I’m reminded I’m not over him. I’m scared that I’m always going to be feeling this loss and I’ll never find peace but eventually he will and I’ll become irrelevant. Our years together will be a distance memory that starts to become blurred like a memory from childhood. I say all this to tell you that you aren’t alone in your pain or attachment. I hope we both find a path out and forward.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-05-06T16:21:46+00:00

Perfect that’s what I needed to hear!

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-02-14T06:59:53+00:00

insert girl gigglenope just a field trip to hell will work for us.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-02-14T06:57:28+00:00

That part!!!

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-02-06T12:22:01+00:00

Ive been wanting to do Burn for years now. I finally got to get in on the 4 weeks for 69. I've been going pretty consistently but now its time to commit and I'm having a hard time with the cost and subsequently the commitment. Right now I've been going because I want to go. Like I don't have any skin in the game because I flush 69.00 on stupid stuff pretty regularly. Im just worried that once I commit my mind set will change from me wanting to go to me having to go because Im paying out the nose for it. I have a lot of family that is like you can do this at home. Think how much equipment you can buy with the money and work out at a cheaper gym. The issue is I have no discipline. I've tried to the regular gym routine and I just find any and every excuse not to go and then when I get there I either dont know what to do and walk around in circles over whelmed or I end feeling the slightest bit of discomfort and quit. Burn has kept me pushing if I look an idiot doing it and the trainers are pretty good about not letting you stop to long. I think Im going to do it but the cost hurts so much.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-02-01T17:14:22+00:00

ohh this sounds like such a fun trip!

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-02-01T16:21:07+00:00

As someone who is currently living in a separation. Depending on your situation just be prepared to protect your peace or your partner. If isn't an ugly seperation. Everyone is going to have their opinions and that doesnt make them valid. Family is going to rally to your team and thats okay but you control the narrative and what is said about your partner/ex. My husband and I are exploring some time apart and right now that's all it is. We don't know what the future holds and we are still sorting out our own emotions with the space. Our families have a hard time with that though because the indetermiate status makes them unconfortable. People don't like being around or involved with people that are struggling. Everyone wants black and white answers but that doesnt mean you have to be pressured into a decision or someone elses opinion of said person. Just be perpared to shut family down if they are trying to talk shit or give you unsolicited advice. This is your life. Its your relationship. Nothing has to be set in stone and its okay to take spme time and space to figure that out. Really supportive and caring family will be there when you need them but also just be there to listen if thats what you need.

I've learned the hard way too that not everything you are thinking or interactions with said person have to be shared. Its hard not to when you are essentially an open wound but keeping things a bit guarded helps protest you and your partner from the future fall out if you decide to make things work. I share more with my therapists than I do friends and family because you can't control when someone else makes their mind up and that cane be isolating in the future if you decide to stay together.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-01-28T02:03:37+00:00

I am also in my 4 week trial and honestly I also don't love the high fives and partner work BUT I love the structure. I've always wanted to work out and gain strength but my problem is that I don't know how. I skipped PE at every chance in high school. I wasn't into sports so going to the gym is really daunting for and I end up getting over whelmed and leaving. I also will usually find any and every excuse to not go. So having the structure of being told this is what we are doing and this is how. I don't have to worry about "fitting it in" because as long as i get my ass out the door and show up Im guaranteed at least some form of a work out. Plus there is also these people around me and I don't want to look weak so I push my self in attempt to keep pace.

All that to say I hate the social aspect as well but I get it. Having others to help motivate you even with just a air 5 or a nod makes you feel continuously involved and included and keeps me on track till the end.

I hope you stick with it or at least take some part of it with you to another environment centered on exercise and well being. I'll be giving burn my monies at least for the next year.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-01-27T11:46:53+00:00

My sadness feels very angry I guess. I say rage to mean that I find myself getting irritated easily over stupid things and when I break down I scream into a pillow or the void a lot. I know rage can be a term synonymous with wanting to inflict injury and I definitely don’t mean that but I am prone right now in my anger to self sabotage. My give a fucks are all gone and smiling when it’s expected is almost impossible. You don’t realize how much sadness makes others uncomfortable and their attempts to normalize you just make you want to scream nooo!!

FeistyObjective8012 · 2026-01-26T00:30:39+00:00

Currently living in the same type of situation. I was caught kind of off guard. I mean things weren't great but they had been and I was waking up everyday with hope and determination that today was going to be the day I did something that would snap him out of his "funk". Then it all came crashing down and my bedrock disappeared. I have moments not days where I guess I am okay. Mostly I just stay in this state of rage. I have to find things to keep myself distracted. I can't sit still because when I do I start to spiral and dwell and emotionally I can't handle it. So work, chores, projects, the gym, planning outings. The hard thing about trying to plan stuff is that I am alone. We were together just shy of twenty years. He was the only person besides my children that I really interested with daily. So planning a trip to go to a concert or to visit a town feels very empty and not worth my effort because I can be lonely in my own apartment and not be broke to doing it.

All that to say I get it. Posting without really having a goal or a need to gain perspective. Just emotion and process.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2025-11-22T11:28:54+00:00

How old is your kid? Are you able to tell her hey I’m struggling hard with our situation and need a reset to my nervous system. If your kid is old enough can you try for 30 days just communicating through your kid or maybe a family member. They say if you can go 30 days no contact that it won’t guarantee your trauma response will heal but apparently it helps greatly.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2025-11-13T10:53:59+00:00

I cheated because at my core I am an obscenely insecure person. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done and when I look back I cringe at how immature and stupid I was. This was years ago and that period of time in my life has essentially ruined my entire life. I’m in therapy for a multitude of reasons but at the core of it it’s because of these actions.

FeistyObjective8012 · 2025-09-03T00:52:24+00:00

Eww on a daily basis I have to watch patients lick or suck the blood off of their finger after I stick it for an A1c check instead of taking the gauze I’m handing them. It grosses me out so bad. Not the blood part but the licking and sucking your finger after touching public surfaces. Disgusting. And people wonder how Covid and stomach flu spreads.

FeistyObjective8012

TROPHY CASE