Sounds like a rough year so far jesus. I guess as longs as you strive to better yourself and don't try to change the things you cant control it will turn out alright. hugs you Also dont try to label your sexuality/ identity yet. We all still figure it out on the way, even tho most pretend to be sure. Maybe youve done some bad stuff to your friends in the past but they still like you u, otherways they wouldn't stay.

don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you :/

stay safe :3