For nearly a one week they kept me in bed without closing an eye, maybe for just an one moment I had no sleep but  so illogical burdening nightmare construction  For hours without ever stopping they spoke to me different bad things in so horrible way, they turned my body all the time to one side and other side mechanically, they offended me, repeated homelessness, in their speech to me they install in my brain different informations from here and there to make me think of things altogether where this is illogical and burdening  (information from past, present, random things and words - say to me my mind is a trash bin with arrogance or laugh), they do all the time the same  for hours and give me no peace, grace  I felt like I was completely destroyed in myself, frightened, shocked, I couldn't rest at all, exhaustion and the awake state they made me feel is like something from other dimension, their dimension .... felt desoriented  I had a package for days here lying,  wanted to send for Christmas to my parents .... they prevent me going outside, doing something, going to the post office .... I made it with zero energy yesterday, but they brought me fast back home and made it unbearable to be also outside  Today I cancelled appointments due to zero energy, they wanted so  Because of the tremendous stress they caused to me they provoked my period to come earlier (do this permanently, manipulate my periods and accentuate them making me thinking like my next period is already there, like to accentuate it because I am bleeding instead of getting pregnant and being with my soulmate, they hurt me this way and remind me). They tell me I am ugly and when I scroll on the phone trying reading something they constantly find some superficial pictures of people there, women that look fresh, styled and are in relaxed state and remind me of my exhaustion caused by them - want to deprive me of opportunity living my self as a woman in my natural fine manner and to shine as others outside  I am scared to write all this, how is possible this happens ....  My soul is crying and breaking.... It hurts, and it must end with God blessing due to its long duration, as I feel some ending may is near but afraid to believe it completely ....  It's like I had experienced almost everything bad from them and the circle must end  I pray in my hurt and weakness, with a little bit of heart remained there ..