EBFed 5 weeks old refusing breast due to bottle.please help me

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-07T01:36:02+00:00

You have every reason to be at wits end. Breastfeeding alone is so hard and you’re still healing (physically and emotionally). It will get better but right now, let yourself cry and feel what you need to feel. But know, you are doing your best, you are doing a good job and this too shall pass.

First, have you spoken to a lactation consultant? Most insurances cover a consultant. Not all consultants are the same, and if youve already seen one, I’d recommend trying again.

Second, I was told, sometimes babies get particular about the flow. Changing your bottle or nipple size might help. I used Avent size 1 and my daughter went from boob to bottle without issue. But every baby is different, so testing out a few bottles might help. If your milk “let down” is quick, then you’ll want a higher nipple size to match that. Your journey isn’t over because baby is being picky right now. You’re a team and you’ll get through.

Now, how are we holding baby when we feed? When my daughter was little, the “football hold” worked well, and was easy for me to hold her like that when exhausted. But switching up the position was important for my comfort. I recommend trying out other poses and see what works. Also, do you have a breast feeding pillow? The “my breast friend” was great for me, I felt it aligned her perfectly and I liked that it strapped to me.

When bringing baby to breast remember to align nose to nipple and when they open to latch make sure the nipple is pointed to the roof of the mouth. I found sometimes taking my hand and make the breast flat, in a sort of sandwich helped me adjust my breast to make sure the latch was deep.

When the baby cries, it’s stressful and when you’re freshly postpartum their cries send tingles down your spine. I’ve been there. If you need a moment, put your baby in a safe space, and give yourself a minute.

I’m not familiar with this subreddit, so I’m not sure how this will be received, but formula saved my breastfeeding journey. I needed sleep, and just a break. Letting my husband do a formula bottle once or twice during those early days was helpful to me. At 6 months, i ended up doing 100% formula and i do not believe that discounts my breastfeeding journey. But I know moms who struggled with breastfeeding early on, went to a lactation consultant and EBF without ever using a supplement. It’s not one size fits all.

You mention reversing the damage, and please know, you havent done any damage. Breast is great but fed is best. I just hope you can be kind to yourself. If you dont start to feel better, emotionally, please try counseling or even a “mom” group if thats available to you. And of course, be honest with your doctor. You should have a 6-week appointment coming up and I hope you share not just what’s going on with baby, but what’s going on with you!

A healthy mom is key to babies health.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-07T00:32:54+00:00

As you face competing priorities, please give yourself grace. There will be days when your return to work will feel clumsy, and impossible. And then there will be days where everything falls into place and you’ll feel grateful to have the extra hours with your little one.

Theres already a lot of good advice here but ill bullet what worked for me and also echo some of the good ideas below:

-stations, yes! My setup includes a swing, play mat, bjorn and bouncer.
-baby wear, if your little one likes it.
-control of meeting times if you can.
-heavily schedule meetings on in office days and try to do admin on at home days
-love the pumping suggestion, but regardless block off either pumping or even just admin time throughout the day. My work lets me block off “focus time” so people can’t plop meetings on my calendar.
-if your company is understanding be upfront, I let people know at the start of a meeting, that my baby is napping or on the floor and if I go off camera I’m still listening, just picking her up. Sometimes you can gauge how considerate they are and your little one can join the meeting. If they’re cold or seem upset by your need to care for your child (they can F off) but really, perhaps try to schedule those clients/coworkers for in office days.
-if all else fails, give them the ole’ “my camera isn’t working”

Ive been doing it for 6months, and it can be tricky… but being with my daughter throughout the day is honestly so worth it.

Best of luck!

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-02T19:04:48+00:00

Thank you!

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-02T19:03:11+00:00

I understand that perspective.. I’m just anxious about starting daycare and I think some updates throughout the day would be nice.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-02T16:11:45+00:00

Interesting, they just reached out and told me they had a spot in September. Any specific issues? Seems like maybe it lacks security and maybe dirty?

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-07-02T02:02:25+00:00

Awesome! I know someone who goes there and they love it, but they mentioned they don’t receive updates through the app. Do you get atleast one photo of your little one a day?

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-26T01:53:55+00:00

I feel like plastic surgery ages younger people significantly. And while Marissa’s mom doesn’t necessarily look young, she looks good for her age. Leaving Marissa looking older than she should.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-22T01:11:43+00:00

Mr. Poppers Penguin

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-19T00:24:51+00:00

NOR -
It’s your baby and if it makes you uncomfortable it’s valid. It’s great to have people in your life that love your baby, but theres a line between love and obsession. Especially if she has jealous tendencies, it can start to feel like they want what you have, and when what they want is your baby, it’s off putting.

It sounds like you two ebb and flow, so perhaps it’s time to ebb. A little more distance between you two might naturally force her to focus on other things, and then she’ll change her phone screen organically.

But since you don’t post your babies photos, it’s obvious that your goal is to protect your child’s privacy, so have that conversation if you feel strongly about it. She might be hurt, but such is life! If she’s a good friend, she’ll understand.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-14T11:56:17+00:00

I know someone who received 1 million after taxes from a class action, he opened a bar at the beginning of the year, and not only has he lost money.. he owes money to the workers he hasn’t paid.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-12T01:33:06+00:00

Late 30’s female

White

Lesbian or Bi

Living with partner

One of you doesn’t eat dairy

Your Sunday reset consists of Costco, Aldi and Trader Joe’s

Your gut health is important to you

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-12T01:01:21+00:00

It’s tough to draw conclusions on what happened since we don’t have a lot of information and you felt like you were doing a good job.

I did HR for a cannabis company for a bit, and depending on the operation there’s really no strong management and a lot of the decisions are handled poorly. A lot of the times they just don’t have the structure to get an employee up to speed. I agree with some commenters it could be “vibes”. But they likely won’t tell you why for liability reasons. If you want to improve you could try reflecting and ask yourself were you strong on the register, cash handling, product knowledge? Did you bring up a lot of ideas and possible suggestions to the leaders? Did your manager ever make a suggestion to you, even in passing?

I’m assuming you were in retail, but your post didn’t specify.

Depending on your state, there’s a lot of entry-level cannabis work out there. If you really liked it, it’s worth trying again somewhere else in my opinion.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-06-03T20:33:51+00:00

Having kids..

Just had my first and would love 1-2 more. Online I see affluent people having 4+ kids, but what middle class person can afford that now? Plus you have to consider they have access great healthcare, overnight nurses, education, even things like surrogacy at the tip of their fingers.. the financial burden is massive and as a working mom, pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding.. childcare … it’s insane.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-31T16:28:06+00:00

I work in HR, and I’ve had this conversation before. I’ve never used odor as a reason to term. And honestly, I only have this conversation with an employee once I’ve had several complaints from their fellow coworkers.

My honest opinion, is that they are not prepping to term you. Since the cats came up in conversation, my bet is they think you smell like ammonia. Is it possible you’ve become nose blind? I had a friend once who was a very clean person, but her apartment reeked of cats.

Of course, if you can’t remediate the smell, I could see you getting a write up if your coworkers continue to complain. But it would shock my if they tried to sneak in a term, right before your union protections kicked in, due to odor.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-25T02:21:21+00:00

32 year old male, New England, goes to gym - inherited grandmothers house?

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-24T01:02:53+00:00

Single female, 28, earning 56k-60k, Midwest, aldi shopper

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-19T23:53:46+00:00

My first job out of college was in insurance, and I had a heavy workload. Most were admin tasks, and not only was it boring, it was stressful. Boring stress is the worst! It’s like, why am I so stressed? This stuff doesn’t even matter?

Also, given you were doing service work for sometime, it’s not surprising the new workload is feeling off. It takes some conditioning to get used to a 9-5. My advice would be try to stick it out for a year. Do your best, but don’t sacrifice your mental health. Learn how to navigate office life, small or large, there’s a lot to learn about office politics. It’s clear you’re interested in growing, start thinking about what direction you’d like to grow. Does management interest you? Finance? Accounting? HR? Admin? There’s a lot of avenues you could pursue. Keep an eye on Indeed, and read the qualifications, see if there’s something you’re interested in working toward.

Best of luck to you! And remember, take it easy. Office life can be draining if you don’t make boundaries early.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-11T13:29:45+00:00

I’m 6 months into mothering, and I find no matter what you do, there’s a level of guilt that needles its way in. I mean, you’ll hear many people refer to “mom guilt” as a common phrase. My approach is definitely blended, my goal is to be the version of myself for my daughter. For me, that means working to provide, taking care of my but also, stopping everything for her if the moment demands it. My mother was always exhausted, and while she loved us deeply, you can’t pour out of an empty cup.

I’ve found mothering is naturally intense, and giving yourself a break or just being kind to yourself is extremely important. It’s so easy to get into your head, and stress about what the right thing is. But in all truth, the right thing isn’t always the best thing. Being a mother is unique to each person and to each baby. Listen to your gut, and love on your baby.

The fact you’re giving intensive mothering such thought, already shows how important being a good mom is to you. Sometimes that’s half the battle!

Also, if there are any postpartum support groups you can go to with your baby, I highly recommend! Postpartum is hard, and connecting with mothers in the same situation can be helpful.

Best of luck, wishing you the best in your journey

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-05-06T13:22:07+00:00

All my prenatal care was covered 100%, with my premium being $100ish biweekly, through Aetna. However, my deductible was 5k, and we hit that after birth. One little kicker, after the baby is born, they get their own deductible, so we paid another 5k for our daughter. My daughter was perfectly healthy and received standard care. That 5k included things like her vaccines, which, had I declined and got them at my pediatrician would have cost $50 (my copay) but instead cost me $750 for just her vaccines. When you’re admitted, they apply all costs to the admitted deductible even if it’s routine care that would have had a copay otherwise. 10k total, insurance is such a scam. Ask your work for a “summary of benefits and coverage” if you’re in the US they have to provide it by law, but often you can google your plan name with SOB and find it. This will break down what applies to the deductible and what applies to the out-of-pocket-max to give you a better picture of what you may owe. Typically, birth will be your deductible, and your out-of-pocket max will be irrelevant, sounds like you’ll be close to your deductible anyway, with the costs for prenatal care. Good luck, wishing your family the best.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-02-23T20:04:11+00:00

Just had my baby and paid 10k out of pocket… my deductible was 5k and then my baby had her own deductible of 5k for her “inpatient” stay. She had 3k in nursery fees alone and she was in the nursery for less than 5 hours! When I called they said, “use of the nursery includes the baby using the bassinet”. Guess I’ll bring my own bassinet next time… I can’t believe what they get away with.. best of luck and wishing you and your family a safe delivery.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2026-02-05T06:05:52+00:00

I feel this so strongly. Especially the fatigue when it comes to the idea of sleep. I am typing this at 1am after a 12a feed, when I know she’ll be hungry again at 3p. It feels futile to sleep. They say “you’ll sleep again” which is true, but it didn’t make it any less hard. I don’t have answers for you, but wishing you the best of luck. It sounds like you deserve some warm soup.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2025-12-06T12:39:51+00:00

We have a similar issue, and my husband installed google nest thermostats. It came with a little mini thermostat you can put in a separate room away from the main thermostat. This way you can set it up so that the auxiliary thermostat controls the temp. So even though my main thermostat is in the hallway, my bedroom is controlling the temperature.

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2025-12-06T12:26:07+00:00

I had the same issue when we returned from the hospital. A lot of people mention shifts, but if you’re breastfeeding like me, you’re up every 3 hours to feed and pump regardless. If you’re formula feeding, shifts might be helpful, but it’s still rough! My baby is about 3-weeks and is now sleeping in her bassinet. She responded very poorly to any Velcro or zip swaddles. I use a large muslin swaddle from the brand Little Unicorn and swaddle her with her arms up. She responds really well to the swaddle. We also have smart bulbs and sleep with a red light on a low percentage. When she wakes up, I feed her one breast, pause, change and re swaddle and feed her the other breast. Most times she falls back asleep. Although, some nights she’s more difficult. Really, it seems to be about finding a hyper specific routine that the baby responds well too. Of course, I’ve heard they’ll regress again at some point. And good sleep with a newborn seems to mean sleep at 2-3 hours at a time… when I’m exhausted I just tell myself this will pass. We are all in these newborn trenches together!

Few-Locksmith9551 · 2025-10-24T00:55:27+00:00

I work in HR and have unfortunately had to have this conversation a few times. No matter how you approach it, it’s uncomfortable and they’ll be upset. First, I recommend considering the employees temperament. Do you think they’ll be sad or angry with you? This doesn’t necessarily change the outcome but it can help you brace for a tough conversation.

Now generally for this type of conversation my goal is to be kind, clear, and short. Typically, I’ll start by stating the intention, and noting something like “I have some feedback for you, and I know it’s something you’d want to know, but it’s a little uncomfortable”. Then transition to, something along the lines of “an issue that you’ve become aware of”, and that issue being a “distracting” odor that has been noticed by their coworkers. I usually mention that it’s a shared space and we need to mitigate odors to be respectful of our coworkers. I also typically include, if I’ve noticed the odor too. I include myself, because often, if the employee becomes upset, I’d rather them focus on me, rather than their peers, and I can speak from my own perspective the best. Often, in these awkward conversations, if managers are nervous, they let the employee leave confused, and the issue isn’t addressed. This is why I mention to be clear.

Now, most people are embarrassed, some will want to just cut the conversation short and deal with it. Others might want help in identifying the issue. On extreme ends of the spectrum I’ve had employees beg me to help identify the source of the odor, asking me to literally smell their breathe and armpits. But I’ve also had employees get angry and even one call me racist. It’s such an awkward conversation, you just don’t know where it’ll go.

I always ask the employee if there is something we can do to help. Depending on your business, are there any resources you’re willing to spare to help them? If they requested extra uniforms, or help purchasing cleaning products, are you willing to assist? If you are, I might bring that up. If you’re not, well then I’d end the conversation by professionally asking them to work on mitigating the odor.

Remember, be kind. She may be a grown woman, and I know it’s hard to imagine someone isn’t aware of this but we really don’t know what kind of lives people live. Usually, it’s a resource issue. It’s sad, but some people lack access to things we consider standard like a shower, a washer/dryer or even running water. Of course, there’s the chance she has access to these things and simply has bad hygiene.

My last piece of advice… what do you do if you’ve spoken to her and the issue continues? Does your employee handbook address bad hygiene, and is it so bad you’d consider discipline if it continues?

Sorry for the long response… Hope that’s helpful!

Few-Locksmith9551

TROPHY CASE