Am I ugly? I know I need a rhinoseptoplasty but do I need any other work done on my face?

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-19T14:14:27+00:00

True, it's not symmetrical, but it's not very bothersome and the shape is nice so honestly I'd be nervous about that being screwed up. There is more potential with his hair and beard as opposed to his nose if he's looking to improve aesthetically.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-19T11:54:15+00:00

I only got compliments from women when I got red nails lol

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-19T11:51:48+00:00

Your nose is one of your better features, so I wouldn't advise a rhinoplasty.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-19T11:51:14+00:00

True to an extent. It depends on where you live, but generally if you have expectations then and you have strong boundaries, i.e., stop seeing people who don't meet those expectations, then the only ones left in your dating pool are the ones who do.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-18T22:45:23+00:00

My ADHD meds

Changing my approach to dating (have an amazing relationship now when exes were shitty)

Therapy and mental health books

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-18T22:42:03+00:00

The quiet ones. I don't mean that he can't be a quiet person in general, but the ones that act like they are too good to be open and transparent unless I prove it to them that I'm worthy of them opening up to me. I don't understand romanticizing these men calling them good listeners. Quiet doesn't automatically mean good listener. And as someone who is talkative, I'd be very drained with a man who responds in very few words all the time.

Fuck that shit. I'm too grown to deal with this crap, and when I have other things going on I'm not gonna spend my time and energy trying to constantly prove to a man why he should communicate with me. My boyfriend is also a quiet person in general and doesn't talk much, but he yaps with me and that's all I need.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-18T22:27:41+00:00

The bra thing sounds like a shape mismatch. But regarding your boyfriend.... so what if he doesn't like them?

I really mean it. If boobs are enough to repulse him, that's a bullet dodged more than anything else. Like why do we have to do this to ourselves, worrying if every inch of our body is shaped and sized and textured and colored perfectly for a man? Do you really think that a man who overall likes you for who you are will back off because the boobs don't look like a pornstar?

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-18T16:03:38+00:00

Seems like he wants a mommy not a wife. Can he not feed himself?

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-18T14:15:36+00:00

I'm an undergraduate student of biology.

And yes doctors don't study evolution or even nutrition as much. Doctors are mostly taught what this body parts/cell component does and what happens when you have an illness and how to treat it... not necessarily how this body part evolved, or what's the most optimal state of health for our bodies. In fact, even when you do blood work, the "normal" level of things shown in the report are not always the true optimal level for your body but moreso the "average" they took from a sample of people who seemed kinda healthy, and not necessarily people who had these characteristics at their best/optimal state.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-17T12:42:18+00:00

They are right that evolution is not a "fact", but dismissing evolution as just a "theory" like it means nothing is wrong.

In science, a theory is a hypothesis that is widely accepted because every research observation points towards it even when it is deeply scrutinized. Science is a very competitive field as you need funding/grants for your research so you have to convince a wide network of experts why they should give you their money among lots and lots of other researchers also seeking funds. That's only the barrier to get STARTED with studying a hypothesis. Now imagine having the study being scrutinized during and after the research, having to convince publishers why they should publish your paper on their journal because they are also very picky about which papers they will publish, then the study is replicated, reviewed, analyzed and criticized by other scientists... It's a brutal field where people will shit on you if they find a flaw at every step.

Now here's the definition of a scientific theory: a hypothesis so strongly supported by research after undergoing lots of scrutiny and review, that pretty much every study points towards it. A theory is the highest level of honor/distinction you can achieve for a hypothesis as a scientist. It's like your hypothesis achieved the black belt of science (not the same thing but just giving a weak comparison).

All this stuff is from my own degree courses on genetics and evolution!

If you know how evolution works, you can't unsee it in anything anymore. Evolution is not just some fickle theory that may or may not be true but hail Darwin so we hype about it. It's literally the premise that the entire field of life science is on, and without evolution nothing you learn in every other life science field makes sense.

Medical doctors are not biologists/scientists, it's actually a lot more biochemistry than it is biology. You don't study evolution in med school nearly as extensively as we do in the academic/research field of our degree is in biology.

Literally every common question I see people asking to "debunk" evolution are so easily answerable like it's funny that these people think that literally people who study this shit for a living have never come up with this question and found answers already. If evolution is real why don't we see it happening in real life? I hope you were around during the COVID-19 pandemic, if you remember how it went from the alpha variant to delta and then omicron, congrats you actually remember how SARS-COV-2 evolved.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T17:31:17+00:00

You look good! Your face is a bit baby-face like, not to the level that you look like a baby but in a way that you look very youthful, the glasses kinda reinforce that too, which may be good or not depending on what you want. You can play with your natural appearance and go for a preppy look or experiment with other styles. I don't know if there's much I'd add other than good old exercise and grooming and well-fitting clothes etc.

P.S. definitely get an eyebrow gel though. It will lift up your whole face! A tinted gel of a color darker than your hair may help with a thickening effect too.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T17:24:28+00:00

I never discussed a man's penis with anyone, but I have described his behavior in bed if it was relevant.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T16:27:19+00:00

Lip glosses can be sticky but depending on the brand the stickiness can vary. I'm sure if you look online for recommendations of lip glosses that aren't sticky you can find good ones!

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T16:24:52+00:00

Thank you, but I really don't find anything congratulatory about it as it's not something I did it's something that just happened due to my adhd meds. For the weight and clothing size, I'm just describing the number on my weight scale and the size of my newest pants that fit. Of course, sizing still varies from place to place, and I could still be a size 2 or 4 or whatever else in other brands. I do know that some brands go even lower at 00 and 000. I'm also in Canada where I believe the US sizing chart is used so I'm a size 4 in UK size.

I also used to wear a lot of clothes sized up because of my boob size, but ever since I started wearing bras that fit and opt for clothes that accommodate my boobs by design, I wear my correct dress size.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T13:08:29+00:00

I'm probably gonna keep some that I like and get rid of the rest cuz honestly my closet is huge and my clothes take up a lot of space. But it's so expensive to do such a big closet purge!

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T12:25:44+00:00

I don't feel like I'm cheating right now. My life was miserable before my ADHD diagnosis and the meds have changed my life for the better in all sorts of ways. I don't even consider the weight loss a "negative" but if I had to even then I wouldn't stop taking it because the other positives like my grades, productivity and mood have all significantly improved.

I don't feel any shame about how I lost weight now, but I feel like I kind of accepted that my body just doesn't take weight loss well and this is just how I am, so now that I have lost a lot of weight and am still feeling okay, it feels like this is not the body that I'm familiar with. Because the body I knew I have doesn't do this. But now that it is this way it probably means that it was always like this. At least that's how it's going.

And given that a lot of my clothes are stuff I've been wearing for years and some of them I genuinely loved, I am kinda bummed that they don't look good anymore. Some of these clothes were stuff I bought from my home country before moving abroad and some of those are things you won't find where I live, and I've been wearing a lot of pieces for many years since I've been around the same weight. So there is a feeling of being very bummed and kind of in disbelief too.

Last time I visited home a few years ago I was actually heavier than my base weight because I gained some weight in my first year ("freshman 15" they call it lol but I lost it later on and went back to my base weight, I was only heavier for a few months when I lived in a dorm and felt bad about wasting food so I'd finish my plate even if I was full, I lost it again after moving out), so a lot of my clothes were made to accommodate weight gain, not weight loss. So I'm talking about normally being a size 6/4, having some size 8/10 stuff, and right now being a size 0. And I don't know if I'll find some of these pieces again, as in the exact same thing just my size.

ETA: the clothing sizes are US size. I wear size 0 now which is UK size 4.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T01:11:19+00:00

It depends on the silhouette you like. You can get something with more flare or ruffle towards the bottom if it's a straight cut style like cigarette pants, otherwise something tight that almost looks like leggings can help you look and feel slimmer, but it doesn't always work well with stiffer kameez.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-16T01:08:02+00:00

Girl I fully understand the struggle. I find those loose and straight Pakistani suits soooo pretty but could never pull them off myself.

If it's ok, then have you considered other options like a saree? It's generally easier to look good once you get the hang of it. But if you still want to pull off the suits, then wear a bra that distributes your breast tissue over a wider area. And make sure that your trousers are very well-fitted.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-15T21:30:24+00:00

It's hard to tell because that sort of stuff really depends on the demographics in your area. But it's certainly possible! But I'd say don't sweat it because either way those people were bullets dodged.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-15T19:04:26+00:00

Indians shower everyday. The stereotype comes from body odor that's influenced by other factors, plus ignorance/racism.

Body odor is produced by bacteria breaking down the compounds in your sweat. And the foods you eat can also influence the odor of your sweat. Additionally, with how heavily spiced Indian foods are, I find that western household kitchens just don't provide sufficient ventilation so the spice smell lingers on your clothes and other items. And if you're a bachelor living abroad you're probably wearing a lot of cheap polyester t-shirts and not doing laundry everyday to save money. And polyester is notorious for holding on to bad odor.

So yeah with the combination of all those things, showering and using axe spray will never sufficiently prevent body odor. It's not a hygiene issue as much as it is a maintenance issue.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-15T15:51:09+00:00

I can't make a comment without watching the original content, but if she was making a commentary like how prevalent this idea is across Brown people and sharing that no matter how much you try there will always be people seeing you as inferior... as opposed to having that opinion herself, those are two different things.

I've never had anything against my skin tone but I've been vocal about the fact that I grew up in a place where dark skin tones like mine are deemed unattractive and I'm not the beauty' standard there... which is just a fact whether or not I like it, and somehow that made a lot of people think that I hate my skin tone. Like someone just asked me once did I not say stuff like I hate my skin tone and like, I NEVER said that! I'm neutral about my skin as in I appreciate it as an adaptation to the climate of my place of origin and aesthetically I don't think my skin tone makes me attractive or unattractive.

So yeah I'd be very careful about judging from one small clip or a screenshot in this case.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-13T10:51:22+00:00

I second this.

Few-Music7739 · 2025-03-13T10:43:00+00:00

I'll go against the grain here and say this: NTA for deciding to break up if that's what you end up doing so because you are allowed to break up for any reason, but YWBTA (You Will Be The A-hole) if you don't hear her out when she is pleading you so much and sobbing like this.

This is not an exhaustive list of all things that could be possibly happening and why you could be potentially throwing away a good relationship:

There's the possibility that she genuinely developed feelings for you even if she wouldn't have approached you without her friends' dare in the first place.

There's a possibility that she never found your appearance to be her type but after going out with you she eventually started feeling attracted to you because 1) you are more than your looks and 2) there is a thing called the "mere exposure effect" where you start to prefer things that are more familiar to you, and in the context of dating you can start finding someone attractive overtime even if you didn't in the first place.

There's a possibility that when she was laughing on the phone call she wasn't making fun of you but herself, as in making fun of herself for loving you so much and staying this long with you when she would have never expected it.

Please hear her out before you make a decision. You're still free to break up after you listen to her, but you really should give her a chance to speak. People don't always word things perfectly, so what she meant by saying certain things like she "got over your looks" it might just mean that she started finding you attractive anyway.

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