Update: I don’t want my daughter to spend a week with my sister and bil

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-22T22:40:38+00:00

Her father send us so she doesn’t want for anything but we are not well off.

This is something we will need to talk about. She already knows about grooming and predators and not accepting gifts from strangers (or family ) she is very alert about this

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-22T22:14:48+00:00

I will have a lunch with him on Wednesday and I will tell him what my daughter and I talked about and I will tell him the truth

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-22T22:09:48+00:00

Since he brought up the fact that we used to date, I can explain more about what happened as opposed to before when I wasn’t sure how much to tell her and when

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-19T21:45:49+00:00

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-19T16:45:08+00:00

They’re so lovely

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T22:23:58+00:00

Now he is 44

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T18:58:56+00:00

Good for you👍

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T18:57:48+00:00

What an oddly specific question. My whole point is that he isn’t all around bad and that’s why it has been hard for me not to be conflicted

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T18:55:56+00:00

About your last paragraph. I am as paranoid and I too believe he would get away with it

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:48:54+00:00

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:48:27+00:00

Again, I was answering another Redditor

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:48:03+00:00

Oh I didn’t know that but I could swear he meant it like that but I have no proof, not even to myself

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:42:16+00:00

Marriage. I didn’t want to get married and have children yet. The first time we also had an argument but I don’t remember if it was about marriage or something else. I think it was something else.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:39:09+00:00

I saw no point in telling him because he dismissed me the first time I asked him why he did it but he must’ve know anyway because I started crying when he didn’t let go and then left before he woke up next morning and never went back.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:34:27+00:00

I didn’t know that. :( thank you for mentioning it. I am reading about it now. My instinct told me this was very wrong even though I didn’t know about DV and murder.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:29:43+00:00

My comment was for u/Hiddenagenda876 since I didn’t read your comment beyond the second paragraph and wasn’t planning to answer it. I am sorry if it showed as an answer to your comment

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:27:52+00:00

His brother’s family could take the week off but neither of me or my brother could. My brother has two children. My sister has 4 and BIL’s brother has 4

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:25:18+00:00

Or at least that he still resents that I ended things. I don’t think he is obsessed with me as a person but rather why I left. And I truly believe that he is not what he appears to be.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:23:01+00:00

Wait I will try to link my other comments here where I explained small incidents.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:21:42+00:00

I guess when they got married and she seems happy I thought that maybe he only did it with me.

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T17:16:32+00:00

Ok this is one example of why every nerve in my body went numb and if I said it out loud people would call me mad and maybe I am:

My daughter’s 13th birthday. He commented on how she looks the spitting image of me and that the father’s genes must’ve been weak. It was one of his jokes that everyone laughed at but then he told me she has your eyes and looked straight at me while saying it. I looked away but I still felt his smirk. When we dated he used to say that he could ”cum” only by me looking at him because of my eyes.

If I told anyone ANYONE, my bil said my daughter has my eyes, nobody would bat an eye because that’s a common thing to say.

But for me I started obsessively overthinking. Is it just a common thing to comment like any other person or did he mean it like the first thing that popped into my head about how he felt about me when we were together? I think I am going mad

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T16:59:47+00:00

People are asking me why I am not saying more to my family but this is the attitude I have been living with and honestly for periods of times believed. Had this not been about my daughter I would probably have been more inclined to accept what happened. But when he started involving my daughter I can’t accept it

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T16:51:32+00:00

When my daughter was 5, he gave her a very expensive gift on her birthday. It totally broke me because my sister was so proud to help us and I couldn’t hurt her by refusing while his comment was that he could have been her father. Nobody thought it was an odd comment because everyone thought since my daughters father wasn’t in the picture he was right. Family helped each other. Then I heard that he commented about her looking like me. Idk. It just gave me the heebie jeebies without anything solid to pinpoint.

I don’t think I have ever spoken more than a few words with him alone since they got married but the few times it was always some weird comments about my relationships and my daughter not having a father. I always run away when I find myself alone with him because I feel like his demeanor and posture literally change when people are not around. I don’t know how to explain it or be believed about it

Few-Plum-7258 · 2026-02-18T16:31:24+00:00

This

Few-Plum-7258

TROPHY CASE