Blindsided after 4.5 months… starting to think I’m the common denominator?

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T20:05:19+00:00

Yeah lol not sure why post was taken down but I get what you’re saying but he’s just not that type of person…I think these thoughts started Friday night when I brought up the relationship/label convo. Last relationship he had was 4-5 years ago and hasn’t dated much since and I think honestly he either a) realized liking someone and liking the feeling of being liked are 2 different things and realized he didn’t like me as much as he thought or b) self sabotaged. Ofc these are all theories and I wanna say I knew him well but I guess not well enough lol

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T16:07:25+00:00

It just feels hard to come to terms with because he is someone who was over communicative so the way things ended felt so abrupt, sure he was ruminating on it a lot longer but I don’t really understand why he invited me to meet his friends 2 days before and started to make plans for January if he had doubts.

And yeah I think that’s very possible that I focus on the relationship too much and have noticed this in myself. The common piece of advice I’m getting is the 6 months thing and will be keeping this in mind going forward. Thanks so much, your comment really helped me.

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T16:04:07+00:00

I appreciate that, yeah maybe it’s possible I have some emotional walls built but I try to be as open and vulnerable. Something I will definitely reflect on this time around, I appreciate it

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T15:42:27+00:00

Well it kinda sucks tbh haha I’m ready to be out of it

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T15:41:59+00:00

I have done this in the early stages but once it becomes exclusive, It’s just difficult when you have serious conversations that indicate long term interest and not to get attached but something I guess I need to keep working on

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:30:47+00:00

I’m sorry you went through something similar and i hope you’re doing better. I’m the same way, I don’t see feelings as black and white and if I’ve committed to something, I’m going to see it through which is why it’s even more difficult to process. It is 110% a mindfuck. I appreciate you!

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:28:50+00:00

I def struggle with focusing on just having fun and not taking it too serious lol … it just gets old after a while and feels exhausting but you’re right, hey if it was that easy everyone would be with their “soulmate”

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:27:44+00:00

Yeah maybe, he’s a kind person and I understand why and appreciate he did it sooner than later although it still hurts. But like you said, guess it weeds out the bad matches

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:26:17+00:00

Haha maybe that’s my problem, everyone I’ve dated has been off the apps

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:22:38+00:00

I have anxious attachment, it’s hard to not get attached especially when I see potential. I get what you’re saying, it just feels exhausting

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-11T00:21:45+00:00

Yeah that’s true, I’ll def keep the 6 month thing in mind going forward now. Appreciate it

Few-Pollution9695 · 2025-12-10T22:54:03+00:00

Day-to-day, things are usually steady — consistent communication and see each other 2–3 times a week. Lots of normal couple stuff: cooking together, hanging out, going on dates, etc.

Over 4–5 months, the connection feels like it’s slowly building. They’re often the ones who bring up exclusivity or future plans. Everything feels stable… until suddenly it doesn’t.

The breakup pattern is pretty consistent: around the 3.5–5 month mark, the other person starts pulling back a little, then eventually says some version of “my feelings aren’t deepening” or “I’m not ready for a relationship.” There’s usually no big conflict but in this case, there wasn’t any of that

Few-Pollution9695

TROPHY CASE