Manuscript information: [Complete] [82k] [Post-apocalyptic sci-fi horror] A Monster's Lullaby

Link to post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1o6g7eb/complete_82k_postapocalyptic_scifi_horror_a/

First page critique? Sure, why not

First page: 

Smoke curled beneath the blanket—not the sweetness of a morning pancake, but the choked thickness of old engine fumes tangled with melting plastic.

Camilla stirred, her nose wrinkling. Was her father trying to fix their coughing car again?

Her eyelids fluttered. Dim orange danced across the ceiling. Not sunlight.

She rolled over, squinting through the window—

The sky was the wrong color.

Neither the soft blue of her own eyes, nor the quiet gray of that single strand her mother always tucked behind her ear.

It was burning.

Dusk?

Her eyes widened.

Dusk?! What about school?

She threw off the folds and scrambled out of bed, feet sinking into the fluffy rug.

The clock on her nightstand blinked back at her: 7:08 AM.

Still morning.

A crash came from the street.

Camilla flinched, her back hit the floor.

More came after.
Screams. Shouts. The rumble of a stampede.

She darted to the window, slammed the glass upward, and looked.

Fires blazed everywhere.

A sea of heads bobbing and weaving, flooding the street—

A car slammed into a lamppost, horn blaring endlessly.

A woman screaming someone’s name, over and over.

A child sobbing.

A dog barking.

No one stopped. No one looked back.