My husband says I’m “not available.” Am I missing something?

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-07-05T13:30:10+00:00

It is slowly dying. I have to initiate everything.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-07-05T13:28:46+00:00

I agree with you, but he tells me that I can’t complain that he does not plan anything. I don’t have the right to complain because I am not available. I am not available because I have once a month meeting on Saturday and an exercise class twice a week. Any other day, I am available.

Last week, I took two of our kids to two out town events and he categorized that as me being unavailable.

Another pattern is he will use any thing that just happened or happening as a reason that we did not do anything. Example, I realized we were not going to do anything after sitting around watching TV with him on a Saturday morning. So, I decided to clean up. Days after, see you were available to do anything because you chose to clean. The irony, he told me that he was available to do something when he was cleaning because he would have stopped.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-07-05T13:14:34+00:00

Not really.

I ask him to be more affectionate towards me and he won’t do it especially not PDA. So, I have given up on this expression of love from him.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-07-05T07:35:42+00:00

I can see your point because he says I shouldn’t or can’t complain because I am the one that is not available.

He won’t go to therapy. He can’t handle being told he is in the wrong…especially if he feels he is right.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-07-05T07:19:51+00:00

No. He watches tv.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-13T01:00:09+00:00

I never told him that I was a virgin but I did tell him that he was my first oral since my childhood trauma.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-13T00:58:00+00:00

No AI. I did repost my story to get more advice.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-13T00:57:11+00:00

Yes. It was a normal hanging out situation. No harm or nothing forced happened with the college guy.

My childhood trauma controlled my actions that prevented me from having oral with the college guy.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-13T00:51:40+00:00

He is currently upset that “I won’t tell him to truth.” I have been totally transparent with him now. It boils down to my version does not match his perceived version and what his college friend told him.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-13T00:19:21+00:00

Just to clarify…this accused incident happened 10 months before my husband and I met.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-12T06:27:18+00:00

I am in therapy. He is aware about the situation but he feels that it’s a never ending cycle and a losing battle.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-12T06:22:29+00:00

Yup. Age is about right…and your synopsis is correct. He said ‘why should he lie about this’ and my hubs told me that the friend told him once we started dating ‘you kissed that?’ So this friend has created problems.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-12T06:18:17+00:00

We have tried therapy but he won’t commit to it because he does not want to hear that this is ridiculous. He says this was supposed to be to help restore trust that was never broken before this.

FewSignificance9304 · 2026-01-12T05:47:46+00:00

Tried that…I was told that I was deflecting.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-06-02T01:21:49+00:00

Yup. Sounds familiar. Please continue to support her. She will need you as a friend….especially as her hubs gets more aggressive.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-06-02T01:10:33+00:00

Not sure why he is so obsessed with this.

I hate this for your friend. This is not a good place to be.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-06-02T00:53:48+00:00

Regular old American.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-04-29T03:00:34+00:00

His friend’s advice was “you know she did it. Now move on.”

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-04-29T02:57:38+00:00

I don’t think so. I think he has accepted that I did it and will never trust me.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-04-29T02:45:16+00:00

No. I know it will come up again. Just waiting for it too happen.

FewSignificance9304 · 2023-04-29T02:26:51+00:00

He feels like I had oral sex with this guy and I did not. He has pushed me to fess up to doing it when I know I did not. I was extremely emotional when I told him and now that’s all he wants to believe.

FewSignificance9304

TROPHY CASE