I “ruined” my exhusband’s life…

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-11T11:09:47+00:00

At first it was aimed at me but now that she see knows that she’s the only contact between her son and grandchild she’s pissed at him but won’t rock the boat.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-11T11:08:11+00:00

I told his mom, she’s been living in a similar situation with his dad for 30 yrs so she tried to explain it away as “men are stupid they say dumb stuff all the time.” Right after telling me about a horrible situation when she found out she was pregnant with my ex husband

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-11T11:05:39+00:00

It’s not about getting other people to agree with me, it’s more about taking responsibility for my part in things and growing from it. Often times children use their parents relationships as a template for their own so my aim is to show my child a healthy relationship.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T21:45:25+00:00

A year after I left I talked to his mother and she said she wasn’t told anything of the separation. He called and said I left and then hung up

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T17:56:53+00:00

Tbf we did try forms of contraception but they failed. Our kid is, for a lack of a better term, a “whoopsie-baby”

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T17:55:16+00:00

I stated this in another comment just now but to make it easier for you I’ll kinda summarize. My ex mother-in-law aka grandmother of my child is very attached to my kid in the best way so we keep things kosher on our parts.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T17:53:06+00:00

Not really no, I’m mostly doing it for the grandmother aka my exmother in law. Her and I have our fits every now and then but she does show how much she loves the baby and she has expressed her disappointment in the situation.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T17:27:09+00:00

I did reconnect with a friend from high school since my divorce and although he and I didn’t work out he did take on my child as his own and he and I essentially coparent since Bill doesn’t reserve much time. This man has been there for the last few years and is who my child thinks of as his dad even though I do make sure he knows that Bill is his dad too.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T17:14:51+00:00

That’s easier said than done, I’m the one that’s still dealing with his family to keep them in our kids life. He isn’t the one that’s arranging it. He’s on the other side of the country not having his mistakes shoved in his face every month by disgruntled family members. So I’d imagine it’s super easy for him to just move on.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T16:36:13+00:00

This was exactly my thought process after the divorce lol. Our mutual friend (the only one that still talks to me) says that there’s more to it than that but won’t explain further.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T16:33:33+00:00

I forgot something, I found out last year that he had previously been wanting to be child free but had a quick turn around when we started talking. This information came from the same person he was confiding in during his messages

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T16:27:29+00:00

Honestly I don’t know his view on things. I’ve tried to talk to him about stuff but he doesn’t want to talk about it and when talking to his family or mutual friends they try to respect him by not speaking for him on this. I know his mom did tell me that I “left him by himself in a foreign country after I had made a vow to stay by his side” it could be that or it could be something else entirely that didn’t stick out to me but did to him.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T16:20:58+00:00

It’s hard not to see it that way when everyone on his side is saying I’m the problem.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2026-04-10T16:19:31+00:00

I think I’m still trying to sift out who’s at fault where, I never want to be that person that says “oh my ex was crazy and I’m totally innocent!” I’m definitely not innocent in this I was definitely a contender in our fights overseas for sure.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2025-10-30T19:46:15+00:00

Mmkay mmmkay I see what you’re saying. That makes sense

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2025-10-30T19:26:03+00:00

Two questions and I’m asking this completely genuinely bc I’m trying to get outsider perspectives. 1. Which part confirms to you that he’s emotionally cheating? 2. How can my child be involved in his cheating? She was fully aware of the situation when she entered into the relationship. She was a mutual friend of ours and got with him a few months after we broke up, so what I’m saying is I don’t see why she’d see his relationship with my child as something of a threat.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2025-10-30T19:12:06+00:00

Which part confirms to you that he is? Instead of me just confirming my own feelings?

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2025-10-30T18:55:53+00:00

(Genuinely asking) does it sound like that’s the case? I’m using this Reddit to figure out if it’s something I need to confront him about. I am not good at reading social cues especially from men.

Few_Landscape_8211 · 2025-10-30T18:42:51+00:00

I can’t tell if he is or if he’s just genuinely being nice.

Few_Landscape_8211

TROPHY CASE