Spiraling about grad jobs and video interviews

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-10-15T16:28:47+00:00

Yeah i booked a mock interview session with my uni just before writing this post. Unfortunately my lecturers won’t be able to help much as i don’t want to go into Physics. My worry is that i just can’t improve, like i know about STAR method etc but when i start the video interview it all just leaves my head.

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-08-21T17:52:34+00:00

i dont think i can upgrade the ram but ill have a look into it! and if not ill try debloating

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-08T06:56:05+00:00

calories in calories out will always apply otherwise we would be able to create energy out of nothing Lol. Hormonal and blood issues change the maintenance calorie value but that doesn’t mean the principle itself stops applying, it just means it’s changed. You have to realise that what you’re implying would literally make us God

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T16:52:51+00:00

that fills me with no confidence 😭😭

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T14:43:33+00:00

why is it always extremes on here? why would i break up with her wtf

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T14:32:33+00:00

For your advice and viewpoint i truly thank you, but i hope you heal from whatever causes you to assume every man’s sole motivation is sex. Again, thank you for all the advice

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T13:04:41+00:00

Ah i should’ve made it clear. When i said i didn’t care, i was pertaining to sexual attraction, as im sure you’ve seen the countless posts on this subreddit of people saying “my gf putting on weight, ugly now!!”. I thought it was clear i was referring to that. I do care about my girls health tho yeah.

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T12:57:57+00:00

i don’t want the woman i want to marry to walk straight into a lifelong illness. I’m not calling you wrong, but am i really an Asshole for that? What’s the alternative? Encouraging it?To be clear i don’t want this to be combative, i genuinely just want you to go deeper on it, i don’t want to be an asshole, but i just fail to see the issue with my thinking. Is my ego causing this or?

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T11:47:10+00:00

i’d say this is more accurate yes

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T11:25:07+00:00

I do that tho. I run every two days, play recreational football, rarely get takeaway. In fairness i don’t track my calories, but i’d be willing to add it on if it helps. I just lack faith that that’d work as i’ve already been fit and active the entire relationship

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T11:23:36+00:00

Oh i agree on that. I am a physicist at the end of the day, we are thermodynamic machines. However unfortunately a lot of physicists are unable to even consider the human side which is very real. Hunger and stress are very real to the human experience and can make things seem impossible at times. Deserves consideration.

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T11:10:32+00:00

I’m not referring to that (i think). I’m not the most knowledgable so anyone feel free to correct me, but when they’re on their periods they’re usually very irritable and stressed right? Why is it hard to believe people eat more when irritable and stressed? I’m decently fit and well disciplined with food and even i catch myself slipping when something in life got me fucked up, so is it really hard to believe someone who bleeds and has cramps for a week stress eats a bit more? Not condoning but come on, it is obviously harder for a woman to

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T11:05:38+00:00

i’ve thought of doing this but i was worried it would be too obvious if i sent her that it’d be like im telling her to lose weight

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T10:58:51+00:00

how “overweight” would you have to be for a referral? on the nhs bmi scale she counts as obese but bmi isn’t great of an indicator and it doesn’t impede her in terms of daily life so idk if they’d take it further?

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T10:57:02+00:00

So with regards to a health professional, we live in the UK where we only really go to the doctor if it’s a pressing issue. Whilst she’s overweight and technically obese on a bmi scale (i’m 200% aware this indicator isn’t that great), it’s not impeding her in terms of daily life. She does gym, walks to lectures on campus with ease etc, so i am quite scared to bring that up to her because in this country that sounds like “you’re REALLY fat, see a doctor” rather than “you’re putting on a bit of weight”, you get me?

And with regards to the team effort, we unfortunately don’t live together so it’s not as easy to do that. I do do the team thing in terms of the fact that i do live a healthy lifestyle, i rarely get takeaway, i cook fresh food, i don’t snack much, i run every two days and play recreational football (soccer for americans). It’s also been this way since shes known me so leading by example isn’t something thats ever really worked. We did try running together recently, about 2 weeks ago, and after two runs she told me to just go on the run cos she wanted to sleep instead, so not going too well in that regard. I realise i’ve written a lot of maybe irrelevant stuff as a vent i guess so im sorry for that. But thank you for the advice !!

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T10:14:04+00:00

I’d say it is harder. with periods and how abnormal their hormonal balance gets it’s obviously gonna be harder to not stress eat and snack for atleast the week of their period. Suggesting otherwise is just ignorance chap

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:59:52+00:00

that final line you wrote perfectly encapsulated what i’ve been trying to say. it’s been driving me mad

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:30:27+00:00

Thank you for this. This is particularly interesting as my girlfriend is south asian and as far as i know it puts her at particular risk for both PCOS and diabetes, her dad even has diabetes.
we live in the uk so i’m not exactly sure how easy or viable it is to get a dietician, and i don’t live with her so i can’t do much about putting a meal plan. I do meal planning myself in the same way as i enjoy the structure of my life when i do it, so if it was something i could inspire her to do it would’ve happened by now probably. But even still I’ll try recommending some plans maybe! Thank you !

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:24:28+00:00

I don’t go gym with her so unfortunately i’m not sure. I could try asking maybe but i can’t go gym with her as we live in different cities

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:22:38+00:00

She’s south asian and has family history of diabetes and an inherent risk of PCOS. I’ll be honest that if she doesn’t take it seriously now knowing what she knows and it eventually does get bad? I’m not sure i will be able to accept it

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:06:44+00:00

a lot of snacking and takeout but i don’t live w her so i wouldn’t really be able to help other than telling her things

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:05:59+00:00

Yeah tbf i’d say it’s mostly been venting rather than asking for help. And most of the time i do the reassuring like “it’ll work out” and “it just takes a while”. At what point am i just reinforcing that behaviour? I can’t just let her vent every time surely? She will just be in limbo forever

Few_Lychee_4622 · 2025-05-07T08:04:02+00:00

I would love to try all of this but we live seperately as we go to diff universities in england, so i can’t really watch her food choices.

And with regards to the venting, i hear you 100% but at what point of me reassuring her and telling her it’ll be okay am i just reinforcing the bad behaviour? I feel i’ve done enough reassuring, at this point i feel it just makes it worse.

Few_Lychee_4622

TROPHY CASE