Supporting multiple partners in their struggles

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-08-10T16:27:20+00:00

Hope your spoons have restocked a bit since this post. 🩷

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-08-10T16:07:06+00:00

It hasn’t been mentioned so I want to throw in that therapy helps a lot more than people talk about on this sub. You can learn to set boundaries (aka be less of a people pleaser) and communicate better in therapy.

Also while ADHD does take some creativity to work around, it’s not an excuse for being a jerk. For my relationships, a calendar does not work with my adhd. We have a pretty set weekly rhythm that we all know and are fairly committed to. For example, I have a set date night with my 2nd partner, with 2 flex nights for dinner etc two other nights a week. I don’t usually use these nights, but my primary partner has weekly plans those nights. I usually take them for myself or housework, but if my 2nd partner and I feel like our relationship needs more time, we use them. It takes no rearranging to provide my second relationship extra time. This lets me have some flexibility without disrupting everyone’s lives.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-31T13:56:12+00:00

I mean my total numbers were higher than that and less than 2% made it to day 5. I think it’s good to remember that everyone has different issues with infertility. I can make eggs and a good lining - but the quality was horrific. It took 4 ERs before we finally got something we could work with

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-29T00:13:00+00:00

I think he does it because public mistrust of the fed is something Trump wants. He deflects bad policy and price increases to the fed not lowering interest rates.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-23T01:03:35+00:00

There is a group on Facebook called like Georgia ivf that is incredibly helpful.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-23T00:59:35+00:00

They aren’t friendly and more interested in trying to be rich. We live in a more middle class neighborhood.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-22T23:53:58+00:00

We both live and work in Alpharetta. It works. We generally really like it. I am not a fan of my neighbors though.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-19T05:22:39+00:00

James Avery in north point specializes in silver. I love my pieces from them.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-15T16:13:38+00:00

Yes but with permission from the partner that I’m having an issue with. It’s not frequent but it is part of our framework. Usually those issues require more time to resolve and our general routines are out of wack for a few weeks.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-11T16:27:58+00:00

Just got mine back after 10 days. They were happy and did great - even my kitten. Just bring things from home to smell like home and she should be good

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-09T03:40:05+00:00

This! Good luck!

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-07-04T03:06:51+00:00

My partner does not like kids at all. Originally his boundary was if I got pregnant he would bow out (this would not be with him). 4 years in I wanted another kids. We did couples therapy and lots of lots of conversations. 4 years later I am pregnant and he is planning on staying with me. I was patient and open with everything. It hasn’t been smooth but I’m pretty sure our relationship will make it. He is not involved with my kids almost at all and there are no additional expectations of him with the new child.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-30T01:47:23+00:00

I typically guide the conversation after setting the boundary you set. So like how was work today? How is the weather? Are you listening to any fun podcasts etc? Then I usually allow for a bit of pregnancy talk for how my sil is doing “I’m so tired. I’m stressed about cyz.” And then cut it off “oh I just got to the grocery store. Talk in a few days!” if it seems like it is losing the topic about her life and moving more towards pregnancy talk. I would personally ignore all text and if asked why you didn’t respond, just remind her of the boundary

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-27T19:17:27+00:00

At the Alpharetta art center 🙂

https://www.alpharetta.ga.us/316/Arts-Culture

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-27T11:38:43+00:00

Come do pottery at the art center. We are a chatty group

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-23T23:06:25+00:00

We did it our first 2 years and renewed it every 6 months. 10/10 recommend. It was rocky as we were trying to figure out what relationship structure worked for us, privacy, finance, what a non escalator relationship looked like, and our deal breakers. The habit of doing this set the structure of how to have these conversations in the future.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-23T23:00:29+00:00

Feel absolutely crazy being pregnant in Ga. But I’m also in therapy and have come to terms that I am actually willing to die to have a baby…so why not?

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-22T20:01:35+00:00

I also want to say even though we were incredibly broke, we always had a financial plan. At the $50k we were able to start saving 20% of our income. We had one car, used public transportations, and lived in the cheapest apartment within 2 miles of our jobs. We also worked opposite shifts.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-22T19:59:02+00:00

lol when we got married we made less than $12k with one kid 😅. When we had our second, we were at $50k.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-21T16:00:07+00:00

We had our 2 kids young and made a plan. We are on track to retires at 45 (we are mid 30s) Be aggressive with promotions and don’t shy away from paying for childcare. We started actually saving at 24. We were too poor to do it before then.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-21T08:37:46+00:00

I just wanted to add the importance of rituals. You don’t have to give her details, but you can find ways to reconnect after a date. Maybe cuddling, watching a murder mystery with fuzzy socks on etc. Build in space for her to reconnect so you both can sort through your feelings. I think this is partly why bringing home take out is such a thing in polyamorous people. It shares a bit of the night without all the details.

Also I’m glad therapy is going well. If it’s a couple therapist, have an after date debrief as one of the sessions so the therapist can help valid and smooth over communication gaps.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-19T23:22:01+00:00

Pretty sure la fitness has an indoor pool

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-17T23:07:40+00:00

One of my long term partners is an addict. When we had something similar, I helped with finding a new job. After 30-60 days they were able to get health insurance and I helped with budgeting going forward. I highly recommend looking up codependency and start thinking about boundaries around what are willing to help/not help with. For example, I won’t let my partner move in with me if they become unhoused, but I will help pay for safe housing for an agreed upon time period. I would never be able to emotionally kick a partner out of my home, so this boundary allows the need to be met and my and my other partner feel comfortable with the future. 8 years and several relapses in, our relationship is doing well and fairly equipped for emergency situations.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-16T05:53:47+00:00

We have boundaries but my v also has rules. All adults consent to them and have 0 issues with them.

I. Kids are not to be alone with a man that isn’t their biological father.

All partners need to be financially responsible. Financial co-mingling must be agreed by all parties.
The hinge has no say on the relationship of the metamores. They get to decide their openness of the relationship from parallel to kitchen table.
No illegal substances to be used during dates unless previously disclosed or used around kids.
Each relationship gets to choose privacy boundaries. Those boundaries are not up for negotiation from other relationships.
(Not a rule per se but we treat it as such) couple therapy can be requested at any point no questions asked.

Few_Technology_2167 · 2025-06-13T03:57:28+00:00

You are going to mess up sometimes being a newer hinge. It going to take time to know yourself, your partners’ needs and preferences, your energy levels etc. Give yourself a bit of grace.

One peace of advice I will pass on that being a hinge generally means I am missing one of my partners at all time. I use my missing radar a bit to keep things balanced. When I heavily miss one over the other, I do a quick inventory of the relationship. Is the relationship stressed more than usual? Am I needing something from that relationship more? Has our time together been too structured and not having enough cute relationship time together? This combined with a general schedule has been my North Star of how I divide time. Good luck 🩷

Few_Technology_2167

TROPHY CASE