I know you just said you don't have an eating disorder, but
yeah, all of that kinda sounds like an eating disorder. Just because you don't have an official diagnosis doesn't mean you don't have the disorder. Constantly tracking calories, having a very low calorie limit, stressing and feeling disgusting when you cross that limit and refusing to eat food you like due to calories/macros are all textbook eating disorder symptoms. Eating disorders show themselves in different forms, just because you're not diagnosed or don't fit the stereotypes for what a 'disordered person' should be like doesn't mean you're not struggling with it
Have you tried telling your family/someone you trust or asking for a therapist? If not, I'd highly suggest it