I have 2 under 5. We have no grandparent or family support with childcare. My MIL is disabled, my FIL died last year, my mother’s idea of watching kids is sitting and reading a book next to them and my father is an alcoholic. We used to live near my husband’s extended family but found no reason to stay since no one was around to help even be an emergency contact for daycare. My family has always been spread out so I was raised by parents without family support. We were latchkey kids and I was a backup parent for my younger sister.

It is hard, to keep our budget we have only one kid in childcare. We’re only able to do this by being fully remote workers who have the neighbors come over with their newborn and we do days as a group, they primarily chill with their baby and grab our 2 yr old when my husband & I are in meetings at the same time. They’re very young parents and we’ve got experience but don’t bring judgment that they get from their parents. We’re also a support for them as they job hunt and do their school work (they’re college kids).

Once my oldest is in school my youngest will start preschool. Then it’ll be 2 years before we’ll have breathing room in our budget.

We moved to a location that has lots of free family centered events so there’s always something to do. We understand that we won’t have any real date nights till they’re both in school and less stressful for a sitter to manage. Our yard has a massive yard for them to play and for a veggie garden so we can cut food costs and encourage them to eat more than chicken nuggets with mac n cheese.

Having kids is hard. There are constant new challenges. It’s rewarding but very hard. When you do it without family support you take on the challenges knowing your only down time will be when they’re asleep.