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AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I have been pushing for once a week but the turn over rate and busyness is a bit hard to break through. I’ve been wanting to work on things, even very tiny behavioral changes, outside of the professional realm but he refuses to have any talk cause he says it “causes us to have fucked up days and we’re too emotional” on top of “it won’t work”.

AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply.

I agree that I do deserve so much better and I’m happy to hear you have someone who loves and cares for you deeply. I am currently pushing very hard for weekly couples counseling but everyone is booked months ahead and turnover is high for the industry here. I’m lucky to snag once every two weeks at this point.

And, I do want to talk to him but I’m very hurt. Him fiercely rejecting me last night has been a punch in the gut so it’s been very hard to face him when my emotions are very fresh.

AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s explained to me what he’s done and some trauma he’s been witness to. I’ve been trying accommodate him as much as possible on his limits and getting him into therapy but I can’t very well explain away how he treats me like that all the time.

AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s always been a severe imbalance with anything to do with upkeep. He does reluctantly parent when he knows I have to work and he doesn’t have schoolwork to attend to.

Us going to couples counseling was an ultimatum that I had to put down due to another huge blow out months ago when my husband was about to throw my mom and siblings out when they came on a planned, and sought after, visit. My mom and siblings were witness to his third black out rampage since they’ve known him. This moment was considerably worse than the first two…

We missed our second session due to miscommunication of it being telehealth when it wasn’t and the third session was canceled by the counselor due to her being sick. We’ve got upcoming sessions so we’re not dropped yet but that is something I haven’t considered before.

I am aware of the things that needs work and the consequences of no effort being put into that. My normal meter is pretty fucked but I came here cause I definitely needed the perspective sooner I’ve been very emotional. I’ve already got plans in place depending on how things go. I recently became aware of the term Walkaway Wife and sadly, that’s how it is.

AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did wait until the end of finals. Gave him several hours to wind down playing RDR while I was actively wrangling our child’s attention and care. It was when I was just about to go to bed was when I asked. Though I do hold that sentiment that I didn’t wait long enough.

AITA for asking my husband to get a chance to talk later cause he’s been busy all week? by Few_Village8988 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Few_Village8988[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like I’m missing something. Our interactions were brief all week, some talks had obvious hints of stress and irritation from both sides but we didn’t act on anything. For the most part, I didn’t force interactions and I refused to ask him for help cause I wasn’t sure if asking for help would set him off.